For years you have been safely hidden from the outside world; stuck in the warm womb of your home. Your parents have nourished you and loved you while ignoring your hideous and questionable appearance. But now you have been called upon to go on a noble quest for your family, a daring deed that only champions and true warriors are capable of.

Weak men fall to their knees against this task knowing the severe irreversible consequences that would drain them of their pride and dignity forever showering them in deep shame. But...you are NOT a man, you are MUCH greater than those champions who would take on such a task so difficult, so tedious, and so mind-numbingly stupid that their own mind would explode from failure. Now, when you're out there on that epic quest, defying the odds and overcoming the futile obstacles that wish to see you drown in your own pool of death and blood, just remember...just remember that you are MUCH MORE than just a man, no, you are a hero whose stability and power is absolutely destructive against the weak fools that stand in your way. With that I wish you luck hero, go...complete this noble quest and find your meaning, for that is all that we can cherish in our pitiful lives that were created to rot on the cold flat sand while the vultures and the wind crave for our corpses' disappearance from the ancient pile of rock we call earth.

Dex Drive format

Contestant of the Pavilion's second Absolute Garbage contest