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| You people are damned lazy good-for-nothings. |
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This column will not be formatted, because you people don't deserve
such a good thing. Lord Ixzion: "RV readers are so damn lazy, that they didn't send in any responses so we will post us talking about how damn lazy they are" Lord Valkysas: the mag people in general are lazy, you know? the staff works hard, but typically, they cant get off their asses long enough to actually produce RPG Maker games. so you actually expected them to participate in a regular site feature? they're too busy praising that magpie stuff to even notice you have a site anymore. Lord Ixzion: Yes, they are damned-lazy tools. Tell me, who do you think are lazier: Magonians or Pavilionites? Lord Valkysas: pavilion all the way. all they do is sit on their ass and play world of warcraft and write crap poetry. its pretty sad that I had to put a damn counter on every update to see how many people actually read it. Lord Ixzion: Oh, but that's nothing compared to Magonians. All they do is sit in Amy Rose's Spam Hammer and spam it up with their spiteful spam. They always shy away from the Chat forum, because rubbing two brain cells together is Magonian Kryptonite. How goes the intellect over there? Lord Valkysas: well, they're smart, but some of them are a bit too smart. take terrorist for instance (he's toecutter now) is a self-proclaimed expert on everything in the entire world, and almost every post he makes is at least 4 pages long. I dont know where he gets this stuff, its a bit annoying how smart he is. and then we have our very own board savior, Lord Bob. Lord Ixzion: The board savior? Any relation to the J-man? Lord Valkysas: Lord Bob is the Pavilion and Agetec's official god. every post he makes is a sermon, promoting a religion where you worship him, because he truely believes that he is god, the one and only, and all other religions are just misguided interpretations of "bobism" Lord Valkysas: if you're interested in his services, I can show him the mag some time. Lord Ixzion: Wow. I can't believe we've all been wrong all this time. Lord Ixzion: But, getting back to the subject, these people are lazy assholes. Lord Valkysas: indeed! Lord Valkysas: but at least your lazy assholes pretend to read your updates and commend you on a job well done, while mine just flat out ignore me. Lord Ixzion: My God (who is now Bob)! Lord Valkysas: you could post pictures of you stabbing someone to death on the front page, and everyone would reply "wow! great job, ixzion!" "kick-ass as usual!" "insert random positive emoticon" Lord Valkysas: at least they PRETEND to care. Lord Ixzion: I swear, with as many people as there are on the Pavilion forums, I'm shocked. Well, not really. I say that because that's what people expect someone to say in a situation like this. Lord Ixzion: We are the two hardest working people in the RPGM community, and they dare not treat us with respect? Hey, you people reading this! Yes, you dumbass. What's the deal? You think you're so big that you can't write a freaking letter to us? Huh? Lord Valkysas: hey, I get letters. Lord Ixzion: What? Lord Valkysas: I was stupid enough to post my real address back on the agetec forum as part of the legendary (at agetec, anyways) "sqwatches" prank, and now some people send me rocks and confetti in the mail. Lord Ixzion: Man, I wish people would send ME useless crap. Lord Valkysas: lady hikari sent me a rubber rat. Lord Ixzion: Go on. Lord Valkysas: dont be jealous of the rat love Lord Valkysas: no one from the mag has ever sent you ANYTHING? Lord Ixzion: N-n...no one. Ever... Lord Valkysas: wow. I'm appalled. meanwhile, you're running a contest to send people, what.. a plaque and a game and stuff, your staff has added all sorts of custom stuff to the forum, and you guys work your asses off despite all the stuff happening in real life, and those BASTARDS cant even show a little gratitude? Lord Ixzion: Hell no! Lord Ixzion: That's messed up, yo! Lord Valkysas: and you're just gonna sit here and take that shit? Lord Ixzion: Hell no! Lord Ixzion: Here's a declaration to all of you people. Send in a response to the next Reader's Voice or I will find out where you live and kill you. Lord Valkysas: Hell yeah, IP tracers rock. Lord Ixzion: Wha? I was just going to use the phone book. Lord Valkysas: dammit, you dont have any style with this stuff Lord Valkysas: you have to do it as hi-tech as possible to assert your authority Lord Ixzion: Dude, this ain't Mission: Impossible. Lord Ixzion: That's how bad guys always get messed up. They take too long. Lord Valkysas: no, you find out where the hell they live, you go in there, chain them to a chair, and have bonanza rap to them for a few hours, that's the way to go. Lord Ixzion: Oh, hells yeah. He'll beepbox them to death, fo' sho'! Lord Valkysas: beepbox? what the hell? Lord Ixzion: Hold on; I know what you're thinking. But beepboxing is actually a form of martial arts. Lord Valkysas: do you beat up gameboys or something? Lord Valkysas: is it boxing with bikehorns for gloves? Lord Ixzion: Nah, foo'! It's all about RAP BATTLE JUSTICE. Lord Valkysas: f*ck yeah, paint that on a chair and go to work. Lord Ixzion: But really, I swear. After having so long to give up a response, how could these readers just screw us over like this? I hope you all rot in hell, you selfish, self-serving, hypocritical, hemophobic, hermaphrodite, ugly, pugly, fugly, no-excuse for a human being piece of bull excrement. Lord Ixzion: I'm warning you, if you don't send in a response to the topic that we told you all to give responses to last time, I swear I will kill your parents. I'm am NOT playing with you. Lord Valkysas: when did you post the topic anyways? how long have they had? Lord Valkysas: had to be a few months at least Lord Ixzion: They've had months! Months! Lord Ixzion: I posted right at the end of the last Reader's Voice in Issue 2-1. They HAD to have seen it. Lord Valkysas: where's that topic at? having trouble finding it Lord Ixzion: Not you, too! I didn't think the idiocy of the masses had corrupted your mind! Lord Valkysas: I at least want to see how many people just looked at it. Lord Valkysas: because if like, no people looked at it, maybe it just got overlooked Lord Ixzion: I'll take a damn picture of it so that everyone can see the damned thing Lord Valkysas: make it part of the cover image this issue. Lord Ixzion: You bet your ass I will. Just let me get over there and... Lord Ixzion: aww....for the love of Ben Affleck... Lord Valkysas: just have a picture of that thread and then a caption that says "OH FUCK YOU" Lord Valkysas: buh? Lord Ixzion: And what WOULDN'T do for the love of him. Lord Ixzion: It appears there's been a mistake. I....I...didn't make a topic. Lord Valkysas: OH FUCK YOU. Lord Valkysas: you've been sitting here flaming your members for your own negligence? Lord Ixzion: It...It...It would seem that I owe my readers an apology. Lord Ixzion: Go ahead and handle that, Valk. Lord Valkysas: what? Lord Ixzion: Go ahead. They need an apology. Lord Valkysas: me apologize? for you? Lord Ixzion: Don't be an apologetic girlie-man. Do it. Lord Valkysas: I'm sorry that your webmaster is a fucking moron. Lord Ixzion: See? Now how hard was that? Lord Ixzion: Well, now that that tramatic experience is behind you, our valued *snicker* readers *haha* need a topic to respond to. Any ideas, my kind sir? Lord Valkysas: you'll actually post this? Lord Valkysas: promise me you'll actually remember it Lord Ixzion: Yes, I'll post it. And I'll post it immediately when the issue comes out. Scouts honor. Lord Valkysas: okay. I'd like to know why they all pretty much abandoned RPG Maker. Lord Ixzion: Hahaha. That's pretty heavy. You do know that the responses we'll get will be intellectually comparable to a grapefruit? Lord Valkysas: still want to ask it. Lord Ixzion: Well, it's your sanity's funeral... That's right, you pukes. The next Reader's Voice topic will be "Why did you abandon RPG Maker, you idiot?!" Post in the Chat Forum and you can't miss the topic. Well, I wouldn't put it past the mental abortions that read this column. But just do it, dammit. |