.... Sarah's Knight was not always Sarah's Knight, you see. I now feel comfortable enough to reveal whom I once was up until maybe a year or two before I joined the Mag, and it will relieve me of a great burden on my heart to willingly admit the darker truth all on my own.

*sigh* Well, here goes nothing ....



I was not always the protector of angels/pretty girls. Rather, in the past, I had the desire to kidnap them, all Magic Emperor Ghaleon-style, and take them away to some dark corner of the world where they would be mine and mine alone forever and forever.

I was not always the humble servant of angels/pretty girls. Rather, I was once their arrogant and selfish conqueror and master, where they would serve me always, rather than my being the servant of them, willing to sacrifice anything to uphold and protect them from evil.

I was not always this cute little swordsman of Light who fights for love, justice, the angels of Heaven, etc. etc. Rather, I was once this big, scary, all dark and mysterious man, who was ready to destroy and/or conquer the entire world with my great anger (read: Id from Xenogears); a true being of Darkness and evil.

I did not always attempt to be formal, polite, and obliging to girls, addressing them as "Miss" before speaking their name, being soft-spoken in their presences, or with a sense of shame trying to keep my eyes from straying to the more delicate areas of a girl's body if I found that girl to be physically very pretty. Rather, in the past, I hardly tried to be a gentlemen around them.

I did not always carry the Northern Longblade sword at my side, nor was it the gentle and silent power of the cherryblossoms that I used to banish evil murderous demons back to the Abyss from which they came. Rather, I once held a sword willingly stained in the blood of my enemies, that called upon the chaotic power of ... ummm, ... well, ... whatever name you might want to give to a power that is used for conquest and destruction.

I was not always such a romantic dreamer and idealist. ^_^

If I was not Sarah's Knight at the present, then you most likely would have not seen the image of a cute innocent angel girl on the desktop that I had posted in Ixzion's thread a few hours ago. Probably something horribly ecchi and distasteful, instead. ^_^

I was not always Sarah's Knight; I was once known as "Id", ... and unfortunately I must still bear the physical proof on my right shoulder that I was once that person (read: some really stupid tattoo of the name "Id" in cursive letters), as a shameful reminder to keep me from going back to those ways of Darkness. (Though the pretty female angels of the heavens have forgiven me and accepted me as their servant and protector, they still deem that I must be lovingly punished by them for my former ways by being forced to carry that mark for the rest of my life, you see.)

If I had been around at the time I was still Id, then would not be the signature emoticon used in so many of my posts. Rather it would have been or, worse yet, .

In short, I was not always of the Light. Rather, I was once of the Darkness.



... Sarah's Knight tries to humbly confess all of these things, so that no one will be misled into believing that I am some sort of great saint who looks down self-righteously upon everyone else, for I, too, still make mistakes leading to evil even as Sarah's Knight. Kajak said so, himself, the other day, having reminded me of the time in the far past when I momentarily threatened Miss Sumisem by saying something along the lines of "Watch your back, little girl", of which I again sincerely and profusely apologize to her for (although by now I guess that you probably could care less, Miss Sumi ^_- ). But, the point is, you see, there is always forgiveness from the angels. ^_^

And besides, I like being Sarah's Knight a lot better, anyway. I think it is a far more worthy persona for me to strive to be more like day by day. Lantis once tried to keep me in check by continuously threatening to make such a topic as this, himself, and at the time I would have been sorely embarrassed if this secret was revealed to the entire Mag community. ... But, now, I won't be so scared as to adamantly deny that Id ever existed. It doesn't mean that I am proud of that fact, but ... *breathes a deep, heavy-hearted sigh of spiritual liberation* ... I can do this, myself! No need to run from the dark truth, anymore! And there you all have it!

I am, and always shall be from this moment on, Sarah's Knight, and only Sarah's Knight, ... Protector of Angels! Now and forever! And that's the way it's going to stay! ^_-



Insert sig as proof of everything I have said!



... ^_- And another in case the first did not fully convince you ->





(Side note: ... Of course, not in all ways was this topic meant to be serious. For instance, I do realize that I am not a "swordsman of Light", at least not in the Final Fantasy/Cardcaptor Sakura/etc. kind of sense. Just to make sure you all know that I haven't lost all sense of reality, here. ^_^ )

Seems that we have, more or less, walked similar paths. For a while I was a hateful sole wishing death upon every last man, woman, and child. I too have done several things that I am ashamed of... leading the souls of many into darkness. Oddly, enough the pavvies end up setting me straight, whether they know it or not. I went from God of Destruction to a Crazy Lovable Teddy. The darkness still lingers, some times making an appearance, but it shall never take control of me again. I understand your pain, dude. Takes guts to admit one's own faults. Bravo.

Damnit... and here I was wanting to threaten SK with think kind of thread for some time now. And yes, we really did call him "Id" most the time. This way back when we were in highschool and both working at the same deli (if you can even call it a deli, that is).

*shudders at La Bellas*

Ah the stories to be told...

Now to find more dirt to dig up on SK...

Thank you, Jamos. It encourages me to keep on striving to be Sarah's Knight when I hear things like what you have said.

Ah... yes. But you know. Somewhere deep inside you, lurks the power of a madman. And it's all you can do to just keep him at bay.

One day, I tell you. One day Id will resurface.

Maybe he will!

But SK, think of the pretty girls you have sworn to protect! You cannot turn to the dark side!

[spoiler]I can't help but find this all rather amusing[/spoiler]

Oh, but he can. You see, there are two kind of good beings of this world. Those who's goodness was of their origin. And those who's turned from darker paths.

The differnce though is that the beings who's origin is good, know not how to be evil. Therefore deflection from holiness is very unlikely. But in SK's case, there's a seed planted from his past. One that will always be there. So there will always be a chance. A chance that he will turn the northern longblade aginst his own for a quest of world domination.

Kinda reminde me of my past. I was once young and inmature, but I'm no longer young...
Anyway, my past was more light hearted, but involved 2 other identical brothers, crazy pets, giant monkeys, cleaning utilities that turned into super heroes, time traveling and upsetting ancient deities (aztec, greek, nordic...)

Grats SK...not that much of that was new or anything...but yeah..good for you....I'm still bent on world dom though

Screw the Light!

Uh... I kinda think it's the other way around. You see, you can't know what peace is until you've experienced war. You don't know what being alone feels like until you've been with someone. Likewise, you can't know what's good if you haven't walked the path of Evil.

Those "born good" are, in my opinion, just a bunch of pedantic, pathetic fools. =D

But wait! I'm talking as if I believed in maniqueism... Alright. Pretend I do, for this topic. ^^

Which means, SK, + Karma to you. ^^

<br>
But, honestly...

^^

1ce wrote:



... I won't. It will never happen.

For, just as I have sworn to protect the angels of Heaven from the demons of the Abyss, the angels have graciously sworn to protect me from myself.


Kajak wrote:



... Then I will be the one to stop you.

While I understand that concept, there's also those who have once tasted the blood of war, become addicted to it. And even though one may swear it off, it may actually resurface in a time later down the road. It's just like smokers who kicked the habbit, only to pick it later due to something that happened to them.

Personally, I think all it will take is one tragedy and Id will be restored to his original place. Maybe not instantly... but gradually... over time.

Gee, I sure hope that doesn't happen. Being filled with so much anger and malice is a painful ordeal. It of itself can be enough to cause a psychotic breakdown. Don't listen to the dark call Mr. Knight... even though she has a sexy voice... urm, what was I talking about?

If you're a protector of pretty angels, than that means you focus more on looks than personality

Heh, true. Those slightly over-weight angels, though of pure heart, are left to die.

If that's not a sign of Id's return, I don't know what is.

But there are no ugly angels, just angles.

Jamos wrote:


... Precisely. Therefore, as I believe I have said once before in reply to the same accusation, although Duel was not the same person who had made it at the time, the implication that I am a part of the Darkness in the first place for thinking that only those girls whom are physically pretty are worthy of protecting falls to ruins. All angels of Heaven are beautiful, so there are none that could be discriminated against, anyway, and on top of that, surely you all knew that I meant the term "pretty" as in at heart, not just on the surface. ... *looks smug by using a pretend smug emoticon* Hah. You know you are just trying to come up with whatever you can in order to make me look as though Id still exists within me, Lantis. Well, forget it. Sarah's Knight is not perfect, but nevertheless Sarah's Knight, as I have stated defiantly before, will always be Sarah's Knight, and that simply isn't changing. Id is gone forever to the Abyss where he belongs. Whosoever tries to invoke darkness within me ever again will simply be wasting his or her time and energy. ^_-

I'm glad you feel that way. A good resolve will always help in the fight aginst yourself. But to to completely shun away any chance of Id ever surfacing again is naive.

And here's a perfect example: Remember all those times you pointed out I shouldn't do what I was doing at the time because something bad could happen?

How would I always reply?

"Oh, it's not going to happen..."

And it usually did. And this case is no different. So reguardless of how absolute you think you are, you should be mindful, little knight, that the biggest foe you will face is no demon... no torturer of 'pretty' angles... but yourself. And to let your guard down as you have been doing will be your undoing.

Someone whose rantings that only a person of Darkness would make wrote:



................................................. I think you meant "resolute" instead of "absolute".

Well, no... I did kind of mean 'absolute'. But in hindsight 'resolute' would have been better. And to just validate my previous point. JUST LAST NIGHT we were playing rockband and after many attempts at Green Grass High Tides on expert, upon it's completion... what was that about wanting to summon fire and all that junk? I mean, yeah you were like, "Wait... that's a very Id like trait" but the fact remains that Id is, in fact, still there and CAN come back at any time.