these are three scenarios from my everyday life. they're all from events that actually happened today, and my reactions to these events. I'm curious, really, since i think i completely failed to deal with any of them in the manner i would've done had i had a chance to think about the situations first.

what would you do?

1) I decide that before my 2 hour metaphysics lecture, i really, really, REALLY need to get a cookie and a coffee. i pass this little charity stall, and i start fumbling around for money. the two girls running the stall seem really glad to see me, probably because i didn't just ask them for directions straight off. naturally, then, i asked them for directions. i'm one of those people >_<

and i'm fumbling for money, and instead of the coin i was intending to get out i pull out one worth ten times more. and i only have a little bit of money, right? i'm saving. and the girl says 'just pop it in there', indicating the tin. and they're both staring at me, naturally. >_<;

So i'm like 'ah crap' internally, but i do it anyway, wordlessly i give a really rather considerable sum to charity. and i take one small cookie and leave, smiling at them as i do so. basically, when i get outside i stare up at the sky and call myself an idiot.

what would you have done? taken some other money out instead? taken two cookies? considered it all just part of life?


2) I'm walking home, and i pass this girl i know. We hang out with all the same friends, i've known her for a couple of years now, close to two and a half. she's had about 10 words for me in all that time. she ignores me in the street, she'll stop and talk to whoever i'm walking with in the street and still ignore me! i suspect she figures i'm beneath her. *shrug*

so she walks right past, and i'm like 'erm... do i know her?' because for some reason, she looked so oblivious that i didn't even think it was her. i mean... i couldn't ignore someone that pointedly without laughing, you know? and i turn slightly as she passes, i pause. i look really f*cking confused. i feel like an idiot for bothering. i wonder, the rest of the way home, how bad i must be that she does that. i get home and tell my housemates about the whole thing, referring to her as a 'cold b*tch', which got an appreciative laugh. tbh, though, i'm still not sure whether she might not have a point about me.

what would you do? what would you think?

3) today i avoided, and admitted that i was avoiding, making a promise to a friend. i really want to follow through on this intention, but i avoided making it because i didn't trust myself to actually do it! Even if i do believe in myself and my ability to do what i want to promise to do, i didn't feel enough confidence to actually take a stand on it. normally, though, i do. normally i would.

what do you do when you have a lapse of confidence?


*shrug* the third example is kinda out of the norm. the second is also a little strange, but my attitude is what it always would've been. the first is completely typical of my actions and attitudes.

... any opinions from our team of magonian psychologists? =P

and what would you do?

1. At that time, if they had seen the coin, there's really nothing you can do at that point. You are kinda stuck putting that in there. However, I would've taken a large cookie, or maybe two, since you paid quite a bit.

2. It seems she's either a) completely and successfully ignoring you, or b) she doesn't realize your existance. I wouldn't call her a cold biznatch until you know where she stands. Try talking to her. See her reaction, and make the following conclusions.

3. As far as this one, I wouldn't say it's a big deal. If you are confident most of the time, then it might have just been an off-day that day. There's not enough info to really make a decision call on this one.

That's what I think.

1. I woulda put that sh*t back in my pocket and pulled out the one I wanted to give. Remember, THEY are asking for your kindness. Who THE PUCK would they be to look down on you?

Besides, couldn't YOU use some charity?

2. JAB. Forget about her.

3. Being honest is really great. If you didn't think you could do it, then saying that you can't is the best policy.

Honestly, I would probaly have done the same as you in all three cases. Though, here in the states, the highest a coin counts for monetarily here is like half a pound to you guys... assuming that the exchange rate is still close to a dollar for every 2 pounds. We do have coins that pass that, but they aren't widely used. Reguardless... I'd still probably have done just what you did. If anything, feel good about yourself. You'll eventually get the money back. ^_^

I'm inclinded to agree with Ix about your friend-by-association.

Oh, and if you made a promise to someone... but you want to wait to complete it because you think you may be able to fullfill it better later... then no worries. I think it would show the one whom you promised to, that you really care about the issue enough to not half-ass it... whatever it may be.

1) I'd probably have said "ah, what the hell" after taking out the big coin and given it. In other words, yeah, the exact same thing as you did...

2) "Ah, what the hell" would also be my answer for that one. I mean, someone that ignores you that cinematically either has a bad case of silly-teenager-love for you or really doesn't like you at all because of some reason you apparently have no clue about. Sometimes women (much more than men) come up with a reason for something that's completely unexplainable. They think they're reading between the lines but the lines they're reading aren't even there, know what I mean? I'd think that woman has a case of unexplainable dislike for you...
If I were you, I'd probably think there's nothing I could do about it and go away with the usual "what the hell."

3) You mean, a lapse of confidence directed down? The ones I've experienced are usually upwards, like I feel extremely confident for two minutes and then it's gone.
But in your situation, I think I'd avoided making the promise too.
It's kind of tricky when to override a lack of confidence you need confidence, but it's — hey! — lacking...

In short, yeah, I think I'd have acted like you in all situations. ^___^

1) Not sure what would I do. If I'm really that short on cash, I'll look for the coin I was planning on giving them. If not, I might have gone "What the heck" and toss it in the bin. I propbably would have picked 2 cookies, tho.

2) I've been in that situation a lot. And when I walk I'm usually oblivious to everthing else, so I've done my share of "ignoring that person that walks by you" unknowingly, but when I notice, it's usually like that, "I wonder for so long "do I know that guy/girl?" that they go right past me before I can't decide. My thpughts on that?
Well, if he/she ignored me, he/she might have been thinkig the same as me, really didn't noticed me, or did it purposely.
I might try asking her "I think I saw you at X place, but I didn't recognized you right away"
If she did really noticed you, and thought you ignored her, then that might settle it.

3) If at the moment, you thought you couldn't do it, then it's fine. You might feel bad at the moment for not doing something you know you can easliy do for a friend, but it's better than commiting to it, and then not do it.

Are all these girls British?

Because if they are I wouldn't bother analyzing any of these situations and just smile and thank the Lord our God that I get to be surrounded by British girls everyday!

OK, now that I've cooled down...

As best I could honestly anticipate I would do the following:

1. Say, "sorry that's the wrong coin", step back or to the side out of the way, get the right coin and give that one.

I, myself wouldn't take 2 cookies as it seems that the donation is for 'a' cookie, but if you knew you really would enjoy the second cookie, I don't think there is anything wrong with you saying that you were giving half the coin for each cookie. But if you were trying to do damage control to not feel like you were really losing out, I would instead treat it as a monastic exercise that your inability to admit that you made a mistake (the mistake of taking out the wrong coin) cost you and that you will train yourself to admit mistakes to others.

2. Happens alot. Oftentime people I think should say 'hi' don't and sometimes I forget that I kind of sort of know someone even though I don't talk to them much.

No need to feel bad about what you did. I would have done the same unless I had already learned, which I would have used a time like this time to learn that she doesn't want to talk to you so you won't bother either. You no longer know her if you ever did.

3. You need to be more specific, but I would guess in general I would admit the loss of confidence to give the person the opportunity to say 'no matter what you'll do it fine' or to find someone else. It is much worse on them for you to avoid them. In general I would not have done that.

Learn from all 3, nothing to be ashamed of at all.

Oh, yeah, regarding the first one, I would have asked the girls, "So, ladies, I have a Metaphysics exam in two hours, but afterwords, I could examine YOUR Duality!?"

[spoiler]Lucky bastard[/spoiler]

1. If I knew I needed the money for something important soon, then I'd dig out the other coin. If not I'd give the first coin and be fine with it...Only thing I might change about that is I'd probably have flirted with the girls more

2. Oh hell no. If I know a person they don't ignore me. I don't let them. I'd have been up in her face...Like...Literally..I would have walked directly into her and said something along the lines of "Sup, ho."

3. Whatever you gotta do man...if you can do the thing then avoiding is an option..not the preferable one...I'd prefer to be straight up...But I can't say that I would have done anything differently.