The other day, I started playing Zelda: a Link to the Past and found the following precious piece of text:
"I shall teach you one of the secret sword techniques used by the Knights of Hyrule... Hold the B Button to focus power in your blade. Release it to unleash the power."
... and I totally imagined the Knights of Hyrule holding down the B button.

There are games with bad dialog, and there are games with good dialog. But there are no games with 100% good dialog (there are the ones with 100% bad dialog, but those become cult classics quickly)!

So what do you think are the worst text that ever came out of the mouth of a character? Any game, any console... Bad quotes are everywhere!

Tron 2.0 Killer App
Game Boy Advance

Tron is brought out of stasis to combat a "killer app", which is apparently a
virus or some sort of nonsense (don't remember; I no longer own this
game). He is accompanied by Bit, whose only means of communication
is "Yes" or "No" (he's a Bit! Get it?). As the game begins, Tron utters this
memorable line...

"Wow! I must have been in stasis for thousands of nano-seconds!"

In order for this to be true, the game would have to be taking place a few
seconds after the legendary movie ended. So as soon as the bad guy in
the movie is defeated, a handful of seconds pass, then a new bad guy
sends his "killer app" into the system.

Tron introduces us to the game's controls as they are needed.

Tron: "Let's see if I can remember. To jump over this gap in the floor, I
should press the B button?"

Bit: "Yes!"

Tron: "And to throw my disc, I press the A button?"

Bit: "Yes!"

This kind of stuff fills up the first level of the game.

As Tron is approaching the final boss at the end, he and Bit have more
memorable dialogue...

Tron: "This guy looks pretty tough. Do you think we can beat him?"

Bit: "No, No, No, No, No!"

I'm with Bit on this one. Let's ditch this trash and get a better game.
Screw it. This inspired my idea for the "Screwit Bit". Instead of
saying "No", he says "Screwit!" Every gamer should have his
own "Screwit Bit" hovering over his shoulder. So when a game becomes
too hard or tedious, you can turn to your "Screwit Bit", and he'll
say "Screwit!" If the game is cool, he'll say "Goforit!"

Goforit! or Screwit! The binary language of video gaming.

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (And Rondo of Blood?)

Richter: Die monster, you don't belong in this world!

Dracula: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was brought here by huumans who wish to pay me tribute.

Richter: Tribute!? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves.

Drac: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!

I may have gotten some of this dialouge wrong...

Almost everything in Mystical Ninja starring Goemon on N64. Made worse by the laugh track.

Hey now, nothing about that game is bad. Now that you mention it, there is one quote I fondly remember in the game.

"Train hard everyday....Until the girls cheer for you saying, 'Oh my! That pipe you have is so fashionable!'"

I rest my case.

"Do a barrel roll!"

Here's one from the original Resident Evil. It is more of a silly pun than just poorly written dialogue, although for some reason I am still amused by it:

(Chris, talking to Rebecca after Chris fights and destroys the "Plant 42")
->

"Yeah, so much for him. We got to the root of the problem."



... But then here is an example of just really uncreative dialogue from MegaMan X6:

(Zero, explaining his recent disappearance to X after X destroys the Zero Nightmare) ->

"I hid myself while I tried to repair myself."

Sure it's just one short line, but there is still no excuse it being written in such a lame way as that. Come to think, that whole entire Zero/X reunion sequence was just retarded.

In Viewtiful Joe, after you complete each small section of the game stage you're in, you're presented with a rank...
"You are Viewtiful!"
"You are Awesome!"
"You are Baaad!"
"You are Craaap!"

"Henshin a Go-Go, baby!"

(Resident Evil 3: Nemesis) ->

Nicholai: How did a girl like you manage to survive?

Jill: Hey! I'm no ordinary civvie! I'm a member of S.T.A.R.S.!



... Shut up, Jill. Just shut up.

Got to the root of the problem? That was very amusing.

Resident Evil:

Barry to Jill after being rescued from a crushing ceiling:

That was close. You were almost a Jill Sandwich.

... An incredibly corny line which will probably never outlive its usefulness as a sexual pun.

Yeah, but what about the "you, the master of unlocking" line? That was bad.

... Yeah, that, too.



Or, does anyone remember this signature line by Kid from Chrono Cross:

"Get ready, because I am about to kick your arses so hard they'll kiss the moons!"

.... Wow, Kid was lame in every sense of the word.

Zelda II:

"I am Error"

I find myself at a complete loss to pick just one; for you see, there are so many...

"Get up on the Hydra's back!"--Good god was that ever annoying!

"I wanted to see Yuna's statue too. But wated to see it... ... ...withYunabymyside."--Honesty, what possessed Tidus' voice actor to speak that line like that!? It was like, a long pause and then he said the last five words as ONE word. Turning what could have been a forlorn statement into another laughable game quote.

As you can see, the era of videogame voice acting has opened up a door to a new world of crap. Now not only can the line itself be incredibly lame/retarted/poorly written/ect., but the voice acting itself can bring it up to new level, where it is not only lame, but also annoying!

Oh. Here's one: Disgaea 2... the LAST THING said before the credits.

"I can't trust you, your the enemy!"

"Trust this!"

*Makes out with chick*

*Roll credits*

>________________>

FFX: Tidus and Yuna:

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Granstream Saga.... the entire game.