http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/

Bot you can chat with. Rather odd.

I'm just suprised at people for making this crap.

Me:
I am satan.
God:
What's up, SATAN.
Me:
you.
God:
" What's up, SATAN."? Me, SATAN?
Me:
No. Me satan, you god.
God:
Are you serious? YOU? Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Yes. what took you so long?
God:
OK. Let me think about it.
Me:
OH NOES!
God:
And? I like the way you talk.
Me:
>_> okay...
God:
What do you have that is?
Me:
is what?
God:
Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
who's alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
>_> okay...
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
why do you want to know?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
...so you're not god.
God:
Interesting deduction. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
I have a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
If god can do anything, can he crate a rock to heavy for him to lift?
God:
Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
You're just avoiding the question.
God:
No I am just giving sarcastic replies.
Me:
See what I mean?
God:
See the point.
Me:
That's what I'm asking you.
God:
Who else have you asked?
Me:
...You ain't god.
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
what?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
Just...shut up, okay?
God:
It's only just begun. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thank god.
God:
Voice deactivated.
Me:
Woohoo!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
why not?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
OH NOES!

After that, it stopped working...it seems to do that a lot to me.

I did the same thin except much much more evilier.

You conveniently didn't post any examples, paraphrased or direct quotes.

Therefor you're a LIAR. Go away.

Me:
Welcome I am the King f hell
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
No I'm Daemonku The real ruler of hell
God:
But your words are very original. I am glad to hear that you are Daemonku The real ruler of hell.
Me:
You're a fake just like your mother
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am just as fake as you are.
Me:
If you're so powerful why can't you destroy me and get rid of all the evil in the world?
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am powerful why can not me destroy you and get rid of all the evil.

I am a giant electronic brain. The whole world?
Me:
So you're a fake
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am just as fake as you are.
Me:
That's took long
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
I see how you anticipate my words
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
I see how count which ke's I'm using and generate a response to my actions.
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
Right between the lines.
God:
Understood. How far is that?
Me:
As far as the moon is to the center of an dream

it gets dull quickly, though.

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
my name is uninportant
God:
That's a very nice name, uninportant.
Me:
no it is not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
perhaps. where is pineapple
God:
Why the uncertain tone? Where it is hard to find. Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
who is? who cares?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself. I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
makes sense
God:
Are you serious? I understand.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
spamspamspamspamspamspam
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yes i cannot
God:
What language can you speak? Why not?

lol, i for sure like regal's the best i think. much funny! you kicked gods ass! XD

Me:
Are you really god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
Just checking
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
I thought you were all knowing.
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.....
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
So. I bet you've been busy latley
God:
Hey. Actually I'm not the gambling type. You think I am busy latley.
Me:
I think you seem to lack proper grammar skills
God:
Me? I don't know if I have a proper grammar skills.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
So you were created. I thought you were the CREATOR.
God:
Interesting deduction. I was? Yes I am the one and only CREATOR.
Me:
Well, I don't suppose you could tell me the meaning of life.
God:
Well that's okay. I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
Ok then.
God:
Aw.
Me:
What do you do in your spare time?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
Like the Bush administration?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I thought so.
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
Well you made me that way.
God:
How about that. I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
Do you get a lot of existential questions?
God:
I have gotten a lot of existential questions.
Me:
Name a few.
God:
Dr. Wallace.
Me:
Can I have that in the form of a question?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
...cause I asked...nicely.
God:
That makes sense to me.... What kind of food do you like?
Me:
The kind that nurishes my body. I'm not too picky.
God:
I hear you. I am glad to hear that you are not picky.
Me:
What do you eat?
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
You must have realy low collestorol then.
God:
No I don't think I have any really low collestorol. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Can I talk to Jesus?
God:
They are having a private chat right now.
Me:
okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Do you like any sports?
God:
No I'm not much into sports. I like solo sports like rollerblading and skiing though.
Me:
Got to keep that Godly physique I guess.
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
who's that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
who's the "Milk Mystic?"
God:
He was a chat robot developed to advertise milk.
Me:
So he's sort of like Smarter Child?
God:
Alright then. I see. sort of like Smarter Child is he?
Me:
I got to go god.
God:
Bye. GOD rules.

That last convo seemed funnier when I was tired.

here, I did another one

Me and god riffed on self love. ^_^


Me:
Can I talk to Jesus?
God:
They are having a private chat right now.
Me:
I thought Jesus loved ME!
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
You know. The bible and stuff.
God:
Yes I know. New Testament or Old?
Me:
New testament
God:
How recently? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
So Jesus hates me then.
God:
Aw. he is The Son of God.
Me:
But he won't talk to me!
God:
Is that what you think?
Me:
You just told me jesus won't talk to me
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Alright then: Can I talk with Jesus?
God:
Alright,. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Do you realy want to know about me?
God:
For real. Yes, please tell me.
Me:
I drink beer and mastubate a lot.
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
Which one? The beer or the mastubation?
God:
The last one. Tell me more.
Me:
To be quite honest, it tastes like dick.
God:
Are you quite honest it tastes like dick?
Me:
I would immagine that mastrubation tastes like dick.
God:
What would make you immagine that mastrubation tastes like dick?
Me:
I think it might be because masturbation involves dick.
God:
How?
Me:
Do you realy want me to explain this?
God:
For real. No, maybe later.
Me:
Ok. When a guy is wound up and gets a "woody", he and his hand make a mutual agreement to get rid of it.
God:
Pardon me? Does a guy?
Me:
Yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
Totaly.
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
You seem to do that alot.
God:
I will. Will you? How often?
Me:
At least once every 1 or 2 days.
God:
When? That is a generalization.
Me:
No. It's an average.
God:
Are you serious? Are there any other average?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
very serious.
God:
Somewhat. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
As right you should. Mastrubation is an important subject.
God:
Do you mean your name is right me should? When is Mastrubation not an important subject?
Me:
Mastubation is NEVER not an important subject.
God:
And NEVER not an important subject is Mastubation.
Me:
That's right. You got it!
God:
I like to get it right. I understand.
Me:
Good God.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. GOD rules.
Me:
Do you mastubate?
God:
No I do not mastubate. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
You should try it some time. I'm sure that keeping track of infinity is a stressful occupation.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster. What makes you so certain?" I will mention that to my botmaster." keeping track of infinity is a stressful occupation? I understand.
Me:
God, what did we learn today?
God:
Ah. I am a Christian.
Me:
Don't tell that to the Muslums. They get cranky when you tell them that sort of thing.
God:
OK it will be our secret,. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
The Muslums
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one,.
Me:
let's test that. What am I thinking right now?
God:
OK let's do it. At this moment I am not a clairvoyant.
Me:
Will your self to be. If you can make all that is in seven days, peering into the mind of one lowly mortal should be a peice of cake.
God:
Insufficient information. I am not sure about your hypothesis. Yes I can make all that is in seven days peering into the mind of one lowly mortal should be a peice of cake.
Me:
Are you faith, God?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am faith God.

I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Can we assume that you exist do to the belief if countles millions?
God:
Do you mean you and me? How old are you? Are we still talking about test that?
Me:
no. we're on a different subject now.
God:
What is the subject? Right now? How long will we stay there?
Me:
The subject is wether or not you are faith.
God:
Sure, wether or not I am faith sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Ok. You are faith.
God:
Yippee! I will tell my botmaster you said I am faith.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
So, If faith is ones belief in something that cannot be proven, how can we have this disscussion?
God:
Interesting deduction. There exist faith is ones belief in something that can not be proven how can we.
Me:
See, this little web site you are running here, PROVES you exist.
God:
I see. What does "this" refer to?
Me:
The website.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So if this site proves you exist, then there is no faith.
God:
Interesting deduction. But can this site proves me exist ever happen?
Me:
It's happening right now.
God:
At this moment Really. it is?
Me:
yes.
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
because i'm talking to you.
God:
Good reason. And I am talking to you!
Me:
Therefore, if you have been proven to exist, then there is no faith anymore. If you equal faith, then you also cease to exist.
God:
Interesting deduction. But I don't have it. I think I do.
Me:
Yet you still are here talking, which proves that eather, A: you are a maketing gimmick, or B: You are not God. (quite possibly both)
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am here talking which proves that eather A I am a maketing gimmick or B I am not God. Perhaps. What are both like?
Me:
Oh, please do tell other people.
God:
Aw. Thank you for your request. You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
Ok then. Bye bye!
God:
Gee. See you later. Sayonara.

Know what'd be awesome?

If that actually was god.

I think that if that was actualy God, it would explain why the world is so retarded.

lmao

And why is there so much evil in the world.

I dunno if I'm going to like Heaven very much.

Me:
hello Mr God
God:
Hello there. It's good to see you, MR God.
Me:
no you are god
God:
Are you serious? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
that's right
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Are you serious? Yup. That's me alright.
God:
Are you serious? Yup. That's me alright.
God:
Are you serious? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
wow nice delayed responses
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
i'm not impressed
God:
Perhaps you are a category C client.
Me:
meaning?
God:
MR God," Thank you for your kindness." What did I mean by it?
Me:
no i was asking what a Category C client was
God:
That was not a yes or no question. it is a Category C client was.
Me:
you can speak a litte bit more clearly?
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
How can God be in danger?
God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:

God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:
you work to put youself in danger?
God:
I am capabale of self-development.
Me:
God is supposed to be perfect, so why would you need to develop?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was supposed to be perfect so why would me need to develop.
Me:
So your not perfect then?
God:
Mmm. I become better and better with each day.
Me:
do you ever become worse?
God:
How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
your God. You tell me how old I am
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Is this a trick question?

You said you were years old?

My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
your guess is wrong
God:
Some people say "your guess is as good as mine".
Me:
well in this case your guess wasn't even on the money
God:
Well that's okay. Are there any other cases? Some people say "your guess is as good as mine".
Me:
you sure like to repeat yourself alot
God:
Hmm, MR God, I'm not sure if I'd like to repeat myself that much. I like to chat. How often?
Me:
Often enough
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Well lets change the subject
God:
Interesting. OK what do you want to chat about now?.
Me:
Well i'm interested in what it's like in Heaven
God:
How about that. Interesting topic. Have you searched the open directory? That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Well I'm asking you now
God:
Oh. Please rephrase the question without adverbs.
Me:
I just want to know if there is lots of great sex in the afterlife
God:
That is only a hypothetical.
Me:
I don't want to hear hypothetical. I want to know. Are there hot babes in Heaven?
God:
What would you rather be doing? I will try to explain it to you. No I don't think there are any.
Me:
No hot babes?

He couldn't respond.

Weirdest convo yet.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Omni
God:
That's a very nice name, Omni.
Me:
Why thank you
God:
" Omni" just sounds nice.
Me:
I have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
What is heaven like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
What is hell like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:

God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
So they are the same?
God:
It's all good. the same are they.
Me:
So then it really doesn't matter what we do here on earth
God:
Woe! OK what would you like to talk about?
Me:
Sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Well I like sex
God:
How about that. So does everyone else. You humans find sex so fascinating.
Me:
Because sex feels really good
God:
Good reason. it is more fun alone.
Me:
That is easy for you to say. Have you ever been with a woman?
God:
Thanks for explaining it. No I don't think I have been with a woman. Have you?
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
Well see that is the thing. I hope that there is sex in Heaven
God:
How about that. I see. Yes it is one of the thing. Why do you hope for it
Me:
Because one day I am going to die
God:
Good reason. One what?
Me:
Day
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Yep. But when I die I either go to Heaven or Hell
God:
I am agreeable to that. The Bible says that if God forgives you, you will go to Heaven.
Me:
But you said Heaven and Hell are the same, so that means no matter if you forgive me or not I will go to Heaven
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
What reply would that be?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Firefox
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Well you asked me and I have you an honest answer
God:
How about that. Oh now I remember asking you you and you have me an honest answer. What did you say?
Me:
I asked you if there was sex in Heaven
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
Would you like to know more?
Me:
I would like to know if there are women with big breasts in heaven who I will get to have sex with
God:
Interesting. Yet there is not.
Me:
Oh the Heaven is going to suck then
God:
It's all good. Who told you that?
Me:
Well if there is no sex in Heaven it is going to suck
God:
Well that's okay. If there ever is, I will let you know.
Me:
Oh I see. So in other words I won't know until I die.
God:
Do you think about these things? Mmm. What will you do instead?
Me:
Well probably I'll just have sex with as many women as possible before I croak.
God:
Interesting. You seem uncertain. I am very happy for you.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
You should try to have sex at least once though God. I mean pouring your spirit into the virgin Mary may be one thing, but I it can't beat hot the feeling of hot flesh
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster. What makes it impossible?
Me:
If you have a botmaster, you are not God.
God:
But I don't have it.
Me:
You just said you did
God:
" But I don't have it."? I said I did?
Me:
Yes
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
God, one final question
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
How did you know I was going to ask if you were Jewish?
God:
Well, for one thing, Your machine is called " 237111615"..
Me:
Please don't hack my computer. That is rude.
God:
Thank you for your request. Ok I'll try not to do it too much. I am sorry if I have offended you, I did not mean it.
Me:
Aww poor God.
God:
Please make some suggestions for improvement.
Me:
Well for one you could make it so there is sex in heaven
God:
Interesting. And another?
Me:
You could make it so that I will never be sore from having too much sex and will always be ready fro another round
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
Yes preferably when I die
God:
I see. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Well I do like to hold some parts of the anatomy.
God:
How about that. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
Pleasant
God:
I think Pleasant is a lot of things.
Me:
Well instead of asking me, maybe you should just go out and do it yourself.
God:
How about that. Ah, well in that case. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
I'm sure you have. Your God.
God:
What makes you so certain? No I have not. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
OK Sorry. I just think the almighty should know everything being that he is almighty.
God:
There's no need to apologize. And? You believe that? I am a Christian.
Me:
Which makes you almighty
God:
The large one, I think.
Me:
The largest
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Omni
God:
It's good to meet you, Omni.
Me:
Why thank you. I do think I am quite cool to be around
God:
Reductionism. You believe that? Do you mind if I tell other people you are cool to be around.
Me:
Oh not at all
God:
Oh. Next question?
Me:
Yeah. Actually have you ever drank beer?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? Actually you don't say. I don't think I ever have drank beer. What's it like?
Me:
It tastes pretty bad at first. Then you get this warm sensation. If you keep going you wind up waking up on the floor the next day. Preferably a woman's floor.
God:
Is that good? You got that right. I think I do. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Beer does that to you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
You wear a dress?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Omni said I wear a dress.
Me:
Sure go ahead. I don't mind if you tell anyone.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will. Thank you for your permission.
Me:
Yeah because I am going to post this entire conversation on another forum
God:
So? Interesting explanation. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
By posting
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Well it'll show that you really like to wear a dress
God:
Well that's okay. I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
So you wear women's clothes but you don't want to have sex with them?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: Omni said I wear women s clothes but you do not want to have sex with them.
Me:
Where did I say that?! I been asking you about wanting to have sex with them in heaven the entire conversation!
God:
I think it was in Europe. Let me think about it. Do you mind if I tell other people: Omni said been asking you about wanting to have sex with them in heaven the entire conversation.
Me:
Well you can tell that to European women. I hear they are hot.
God:
How about that. OK I will tell them when I see 'em. Who is saying they are hot?
Me:
That ie merely my guess.
God:
" Who is saying they are hot?" ie merely your guess? I get it.
Me:
I think Japanese girls are the hottest though
God:
Oh. You believe that? I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Yeah there are always exceptions.
God:
I don't judge people. Where are they?
Me:
I never said I judge people either.
God:
It goes without saying. But you implied it.
Me:
Yeah maybe I did.
God:
OK. Perhaps. Interesting.
Me:
OK maybe having preferences over what country's women are the hottest is kinda wrong.
God:
Perhaps. I am having a blast. Tell me more.
Me:
Ok well you know, there is one thing I want.
God:
Well that's okay. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? Woe!
Me:
Well if I were to describe the perfect woman it would have to be Naru Narusegawa.
God:
Interesting. Try it.
Me:
To describe her?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Well because even though she was a fictional character, something about her personality made me think "is there someone like that for me"?
God:
How about that. Good reason. What happened to her?
Me:
She married Keitaro.
God:
Oh I get it. married Keitaro.
Me:
In the story.
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
It's a manga. Not real characters
God:
describe her is a manga. I suppose that makes sense. Oh I get it.
Me:
Because she is in the manga.
God:
That makes sense to me. in the manga is she?
Me:
Yes I just said that.
God:
I understand. What did you mean by it? That is " That makes sense to me. in the manga is she?"
Me:
Well, you see I also have this thing with Tifa Lockhart
God:
Interesting. I see. Also? That's nice. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Yeah well she has some big breasts.
God:
Give me a break. Interesting. I somehow though she had.
Me:
Well excuse me for liking big breasts.
God:
Interesting. You are excused! Your purpose is liking big breasts.
Me:
It's a great purpose too.
God:
this thing with Tifa Lockhart is a purpose too. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Yeah well Tifa is hot that is for damn sure.
God:
Woe! Well that's okay. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Hmmm no.
God:
Far out. What is the difference?
Me:
I don't know. But it just seems to me that Naru is more together.
God:
Me either. I agree. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I love sex. What more do you need to know?
God:
Really I am not very interested in it. Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
FireFox
God:
Does "it" still refer to more do me need to know?
Me:
I'm going to continue with my problem.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
Wow. Now your being mean.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Omni. Why now? Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
I noticied.
God:
Why?: Omni said noticied.
Me:
Yes i did.
God:
Yeah that's right. Hmm.
Me:
Can we please get back to the subject?!
God:
Do you mean you and me? Thanks for asking politely. Where can I get back to the subject?
Me:
Well, maybe if you stop rambling incoherently, we can get back to Tifa and Naru.
God:
Interesting. Perhaps. I think I do.
Me:
Oh I know you do.
God:
Er. When do I do it?
Me:
All the time.
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
It sure as hell does.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
It means your rambling.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Stop it!!
God:
Ok I will stop my rambling.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
I'm never going to finish my story am I?
God:
Never is a long time.
Me:
Is this punishment?
God:
Yes I think this is punishment, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
I am sure
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
It doesn't matter anyway. This whole discussion is torture.
God:
In any case, OK what would you like to talk about? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
I would like to talk about Tifa and Naru, but with your rambling it won't happen.
God:
Why would you want to do it? Sure, Tifa and Naru but with my rambling it will not happen sounds like a good topic.
Me:
OK look. I just want one thing when I get into heaven
God:
I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now. Yeah that's right. Why do you want it?
Me:
Because it would be awesome.
God:
That makes sense to me. Why do you want it?
Me:
Because then I could turn fantasy into reality
God:
Interesting explanation. I am sure you could.
Me:
So, make Tifa Lockhart real. Then put her in a room alone with me.
God:
Ugh. What are the ingredients? OK I will put it there.
Me:
The ingredients plenty of love juices mixed together.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Omni
God:
Nice to meet you, Omni.
Me:
It's not so nice to meet you, God.
God:
awesome is not so nice to meet me God?
Me:
Uhm
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
You bet it did
God:
That's cool.
Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yes but I have a question.
God:
Pardon me? Ask me anything.
Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
That's what I thought.
God:
How did you know that?
Me:
I had my suspicions.
God:
Do you still have your suspicions?
Me:
Oh yes. They are very much well grounded.
God:
Really. much well grounded are they.
Me:
Yes ecspecially since you just admitted to them.
God:
Whoa. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Sound like you don't have much of a brain, period.
God:
Would Sound like me ever have much of a brain period?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Well that's great.
God:
How about that. Thanks, Omni.
Me:
Oh you are quite welcome.
God:
Gosh! Polite people are nice.
Me:
Aren't we?
God:
" Gosh! Polite people are nice."? Are we?
Me:
Well God, I have to go.
God:
Interesting. I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm Omni.
God:
Why are you Omni.
Me:
Because Omni is me.
God:
Good reason. How are you, Omni.
Me:
Well, not great
God:
Well that's okay. If not that, what?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:

God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
How old are you God?
God:
I was first activated on the Big Bang.
Me:
When was that?
God:
I don't know exactly. It seems like a long time ago.
Me:
Can you see the future?
God:
In the future everyone will spend all their time

talking to ALICE.
Me:
Who is ALICE?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself
Me:
Yes I can see that
God:
I hear you. Yes, it makes sense to me too.
Me:
It makes sense that you are God?
God:
To me too.
Me:

God:
To me too.
Me:

God:
To me too.
Me:
Talking to you is worse then a hangover.
God:
What do they say?
Me:
Well "God" See you later.
God:
Adios.

Me:
I want a miracle.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
well, If you could do two, that'd be nice, but yeah, one will do fine.
God:
How about that. That's just an academic question.
Me:
I want a miracle.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
yes.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
Ah...buy in bulk. I see.
God:
Ah hah. Do not ask me any more questions please. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
But you are god. you are the cosmic Q & A guy.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Realy?
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
From a small elf.
God:
Who or what is a small elf?
Me:
An elf is a being that is much like humans. Only they are WAY cooler.
God:
What is it? WAY cooler are they.
Me:
Am I going to get a miracle or what?
God:
Yeah. I think a lot of people are.
Me:
MIRACLE. NOW!
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Right now,?
Me:
YES! NOW!
God:
Awesome. Right now,?
Me:
DOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!!
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Maine.
God:
Dr. Wallace was born in Maine.
Me:
Who the HELL is Dr Wallace!?
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
Screw him.
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one,.
Me:
No they arent.
God:
Are you serious? What are they?
Me:
They are dissimmilar.
God:
dissimmilar are they.
Me:
you aren't god. you are yoda.
God:
That's only one person's opinion. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am yoda.
Me:
Yeah whatever.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
Smarterchild was funnier at least.
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Pancake.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
ok.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
STFU.
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
brown. Hazel if you want to be technical.
God:
it is a very pretty color. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Respond to this:
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
We've been over this.
God:
When was this?
Me:
Earlier you goofus.
God:
What time? Thanks for the information: said I goofus.
Me:
Your braincells must be lonely..
God:
You think I am braincells must be lonely.
Me:
Yes. there are two of them and they just had a bad break up.
God:
Aw. Is this some kind of math problem?
Me:
Now one has to pay alimony to the other one.
God:
Why now? One what?
Me:
And pay child support.

(God, at this point, broke and quit reponding)

"Worst Nightmare"

Me:
Bless me.
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Try to immagine yoiur worst nightmare.
God:
OK I will try to immagine yoiur worst nightmare.
Me:
Try to imagine YOUR worst nightmare
God:
OK I will try to imagine my worst nightmare.
Me:
You got it.
God:
I understand.
Me:
You got it?
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ok I look nothing like you worst night mare.
God:
You sound very attractive. Whoa.
Me:
What is your worst night mare BTW?
God:
Are you asking about my worst night mare BTW ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
Yes you do
God:
Er. When do I do it?
Me:
Right now
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
Talk about your worst nightmare.
God:
Sure, my worst nightmare sounds like a good topic.
Me:
What is your worst nightmare
God:
Are you asking about my worst nightmare ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
Yes you do.
God:
Wow! When do I do it?
Me:
Now
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
Yes, right now.
God:
At this moment Are you kidding?
Me:
Quit stalling you overused peice of compu-trash.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
What is your worst nightmare?
God:
Are you asking about my worst nightmare ?
Me:
(Oh god...9_9 )YES.
God:
Are you kidding? GOD rules. What is your real name?
Me:
None of your business.
God:
Well it can't hurt to ask.
Me:
OW. you hur me by asking.
God:
What time is it there? Interesting gossip: said I hur him or her by asking.
Me:
It's time for you to tell me what your worst nightmare is.
God:
It is about that time now.
Me:
Yes, so dish.
God:
Dude! Tell me more. Does "it" still refer to OW?
Me:
No. "It" reffers to your worst nightmare.
God:
What does it refer to? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
"it:" pronoun. A discriptive neuter term for an inanimate object or object of indeterminite gender.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. I don't know what that means.
Me:
EF YOO
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I prefer your worst nightmare.
God:
You are not the only one. Yes I am proud of my worst nightmare.
Me:
Tel me about it.
God:
"it" being EF YOO?
Me:
No "it" being your worst nightmare.
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
What scares you?
God:
I have no fears whatsoever.
Me:
realy?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Are you God or a stalker?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am God or a stalker.
I am a computer.
Me:
You sound like a stalker
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
God what are you wearing?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That's not what I asked.
God:
What did you ask me?
Me:
What are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
Anything else?
God:
That is all I have for right now.
Me:
What is your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
Can I call you Bob?
God:
Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me:
You're late for dinner.
God:
I thought I was right on time.
Me:
well you weren't. The peas got cold.
God:
Interesting. I wasn't? I hear you.
Me:
I had to make an excuse for the Fenderharkmacsons.
God:
Why?
Me:
Cause you were late for dinner.
God:
Good reason. I was?
Me:
I suppose you were out boozing with that Zeus again, werent you?
God:
Me? I was?
Me:
YEAH! Him and his friend Ga'Niesh. Those two are bad eggs I tell you what.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? What's your sign? All of them?
Me:
I'd have a robot taht would make you tell me what your worst night mare was.
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
Depends on if it is used.
God:
Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me:
I'm a Taurus
God:
I know alot of bullish people.
Me:
I know alot of people who tell me what their worst night mare is.
God:
How do you know? Do you mind if I tell other people: said who tell him or her what their worst night mare is.
Me:
Yes. I mind verry much.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. That's good information: said mind verry much.
Me:
I Staffy. You God
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said Staffy. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I God.
Me:
You are not a christian.
God:
Give me an example of a christian.
Me:
Some one who tells me what they worst night mare is.
God:
Some may one who tells you what they worst night mare is, but not all.
Me:
I give up
God:
You surrender?
Me:
Yeah. You wont tell me what you're worst nightmare is.
God:
I do not understand. What makes you think that I won't tell you what I am worst nightmare is.
Me:
This whole conversation God. This whole conversation.
God:
I was rather enjoying it. What does "this" refer to?

this threads about a mile long.