When I was a small lad, I used to watch Family Matters everyday from 4 p.m. to 5 p.m. on the CBS network, and this was long before I was introduced to a steady supply of cable television. The character that struck out most to me was Steven Q. Urkel, a breakout star who got his start simply as a guest character.

The purpose of this thread is so that I can give depth on the various qualities that define Urkel:

1. He is, without a doubt, a nerd. However, he seems to be able to maintain an optimistic attitude when he is exposed to rejection from his love, Laura Winslows, and various jokes and taunts from her brother Eddie Winslow, Carl Winslow, the father, and heck, several people he attends school with. With so much of the world who sees him as a joke, how does this character continue to live with such a meek attitude?

2. He is whipped. I see Laura Winslow in a different light than I did in my younger days. Steve has confessed his love to her on several occasions, and he still ends up getting rejected, and I don't see why he doesn't just give up. But see, even though Laura only sees Steve as this annoying nerd, she doesn't feel afraid to ask Steve for favors and whatnot, which he will do without hesitation...it really seems that if Steve does all this stuff for his "lady love," she could somehow reconsider her feelings for him. I find this rather lame. Steve is too good to be her friend, and I have seem him help her in many different situations. Myra Monkhouse isn't all that better either. All those kisses gets Steve to do whatever she wants.

So, as I have observed this character over the years, this is all I can see in him. He's funny sure, but deeper within, he's merely an overly used individual. Thoughts?

Like you, I loved watching this show, and Steve made the show. I haven't actually seen the show since it ended.

But one scene kinda sticks out in my mind...that girl who had always rejected him, never respected or liked him, in one episode was drowning in a swimming pool. (She couldn't swim). Steve jumped right in there and saved her. Even though she was never nice to him, he would still jump into danger to save her. That's something I surely couldn't do, at least without hesitation like Steve.

So, I think he's got a golden heart.

Actually 1ce....Laura was pretending to drown in the pool because Steve wasn't that good of a swimmer. He saved her because...you know, he loves her. But in the end, it helped Steve to be a better swimmer. Yes, I remember that episode fairly well.

I saw that show too. But it had too many plot holes.

Actually BWire....you're right. I remember it now that you mention it.

Haven't seen it in a LONG time.

Lets not forget Myra. She was the girl who was just like Steve. She would have done anything for Steve. And yet. Steve acted the same way towards her as Lara acted.

There was two things not going for Steve in Lara's eyes. The main thing is that.. Steve has a habit of embarassing everyone. That and he was very smothering. I'm sure if those things where to change in a real life. The way he dressed and talked could have been worked on.

Myra is also very smothering. Smothering can be cute sometimes but too much gets on peoples nerves.

So I say that everyone kinda deserved what they got.

Lara mistreats Steve. Steve mistreats Myra.

... You may wonder why Steve is so resilient in this capacity, Bonanza, but I personally believe that the loyalty he shows to her despite her constant rejection can only be a positive thing. This may just be only my way of thinking, but a willingness to do whatever you can for the sake of someone you love is an indication that your love is unselfish, which hopefully is the kind of quality that most women desire in a guy (else I'm in trouble .... )

.... Besides, he isn't entirely foolish when it comes to dealing with Laura; there was that one time she was about to make Steve sleep in the bathtub or something after he'd already bent over backwards to do a personal favor for her, and, rather than do as she unreasonably commanded, Steve finally stood up to her and demanded at least human repect from her.

... Didn't anyone else think that episode really funny where Steve transformed into a martial arts master and beat up a whole bunch of thugs in a bar to make them apologize for having insulted Laura's honor?
I was never a huge Family Matters fan, but I think that was the most amusing episode.

Indeed, you are right. There are many instances where Steve has managed to assert himself in order to gain respect. In fact, I really liked that episode too. And what you were saying earlier about "unselfish love," Steve does get into that dimension of obsession, so can it really be love, or what?

Love or even Lust..

... Well, yes, I do remember a few times where Steve exhibited something more like obsession than love. And once that boundary is crossed, of course, that is when I believe love loses its selfless nature and becomes evil.

Love is real when you give it. And people give it back. If he can not except that Lara will not be with him. Then its not love. Its lust. Because true love is when you can respect the way someone feels. And he showed many times.. He has no respect for the way she feels.

Or rather, he is highly optimistic that Laura will change her mind...and she does, going into seasons 8 and 9. In fact, she tells Steve that she wants to marry him over her steady boytoy, Stefan Urquelle.

Kinda corny, I know, but you get the picture.

I believe the correct word people are looking for is infatuation, not lust. The way I heard love explained to me (by someone I was infatuated with ) was that love is a reciprocal emotion, meaning that it has to be a two way emotion. It does kind of make sense, one way love is typically infatuation as the one person will ignore the fact that the other does not reciprocate their feelings. Then they kind of build up perfection in the person they have a crush on, and will continue to ignore the signs that they don't want them.

So while it does occasionally happen that infatuation will eventually lead to love (though that usually implies that at some point the other person showed them compassion), it's unlikely. Of course that make love seem very hard to achieve, and I believe it would be right. Most of the time the solution to this problem is to either move on, or start treating the person like a friend, and not a love interest. Then you start to build mutual memories and interests, and eventually might delve into a deeper relationship.

(All of this advice is derived logically, since I have no real experience to back it up, so take it with a grain of salt)

So in conclusion Urkel is infatuated with Laura, and was likely blind to her rejection (purposefully of course because he wanted it to eventually work out against all odds).

I am afraid I must disagree with that. From all that you wrote in your post, I gathered you were saying that you don't believe it to be love if it only exists from one person to the other, and not both ways.

I, on the other hand, think that one can truly be in love even if the other person does not return it, for I look at love as meaning selflessness and purity above anything else, and so, if you try your best to ensure the happiness of the person you claim to love, regardless of whether she will do the same for you, then you are probably exhibiting love in its truest form. ... Of course, if you begin to pester the other person to death, especially by trying to do or say things to influence them to reciprocate your feelings, then love has probably turned to selfish obsession. *sigh*

Bonus points for Bonanza for being the only person to mention Stefan so far. Now if only I can remember what happened in the 2-part Disney World episode that seemed to be mandatory for sitcoms back then.

Anyone see those scenes where Steve changes himself into a Bruce Lee copy?

I can tell you exactly what happened.

Steve Urkel was doing some sort of contest in Florida (he was still dating Myra then) and brought his little chamber with him. The chamber turned him into Stefan Urquelle, and in the first of the two-part episode, Stefan actually proposed to Laura at the Magical Kingdom, to which Laura said yes. However, this meant that Myra would no longer be able to date Steve and this devastated her (as she was comforted by Goofy or Mickey Mouse, one of the two). In the part two episode, Stefan realizes that he can't be this way forever, and returns to his Steve Urkel moniker, where continues to date Myra Monkhouse.

I think that the best move Jaleel White made as a character was to move to this one:

OH yeah.....just, please don't count Sonic Underground. That show was terrible.