(511.) Rearrival of My Health 12/10/05 11:16 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Conflicting with Jesus and his followers
Who're all just appeasers of self-wallowers
I myself found a real rival in myself
I am hoping for the rearrival of my health
But to no avail I still pain
It's not close to hell but I feel the same
Don't have no cancer, no reason for a life
Just dashed my dreaming dancer of that wondrous strife
I apologize, I've said far too much
Let me restrategize and lose my touch
On reality and all this stuff
But in sobriety life is far too rough
I'll still be sick and march on again
My death will be quick and red my friend
Seeya be on the otherside of tommorrow
Maybe I'll be free to hide from my sorrow

(512.) Two Sleepers
=---------------------------------------------------=
Two
They are frail
Sleeping by themselves
He comes
He watches
Gaurding the sleepers
If they ever woke
The world may end
Or true love may be made
Who knows?
Not I, who come to bedside
each night
Longing to kiss lips
Lips that lost their color
Lips that beg for embrace
One will love me
The other lust me
To end the world
Far too much burden
I apologize
True love
I apologzie
To be alone
It must be so
So I come long night
After long night
I love you
You have two faces
To save us all
I best not take a chance
I can never kiss you
I'll gaurd you but never act
I apologize

(513.) Soldiers On Yonder Hill
=---------------------------------------------------=
So they froze there
Soldiers preparing on yonder hill
For battle with an enemy
That not single one can kill

(514.) Fell the Mother 12/15/05
=---------------------------------------------------=
Mid all the chaos I stopped to watch him
How sadly he cried
Over the body of his fallen mother
His fallen mother who by my hands died

(515.) Syrupcide 12/15/05
=---------------------------------------------------=
Blood feckled the faces of the man
Each mask more deranged than the last
Like syrup on a pancake, it filled every pore
Drowned out in a red tide
He just kept laughing,
Till he bled no more.

(516.) Uneven Floor 12/15/05
=---------------------------------------------------=
A dash of spastic color mixed with lonliness
Shined on the uneven floor of the classroom

(517.)"Drive Me" 12/15/05
=---------------------------------------------------=
Mall parking lot with doe blue eyes
Called vexingly
"Drive me."
This I did with heavy foot
light tires
hard wall

(518.) Pretty Doll 12/15/05
=---------------------------------------------------=
She is from China
My last was from Mexico
I wish she were real

(519.)Smug Santa 12/15/05
=---------------------------------------------------=
You crossed me off your list so smugly
What, you think you're Santa Claus?

(520.) Christmas Exchange 12/15/05
=---------------------------------------------------=
Pivot heater warming the room slowly
Frail and so insecure
I'm sure I overstayed my welcome
I hope she liked her present
Undergarments stacked neatly on the bed
The cello sounded so out of tune
It's always such a long drive home
Everything's a little longer,
When you're alone.

(521.) Bind 12/15/05
=---------------------------------------------------=
I didn't shake his hand to finalize the deal
I signed my name instead
My blood pailed tje silk white page
Atleast the contract is binding

(522.)Sunshine In My Head 12/26/05 12:03 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
They all want what's in my head
The sunshine shining down that I spread
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
How bright the sun shines down
Turning you a right side frown
All that sunshine in my head
Makes me wish that I was dead
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
Magna Carta signed my rights
I quit my fights
Cus I got the power of the sun
I am one
With that sunshine shining in my head
It's all about the joy that I spread
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
The flings they come and go
Sometimes they never know
That the light that I shine
It's all mine
It's all mine
So why should I be sad?
I did nothing bad
But shine on
Beat the dawn
With that sunshine shining in my head
It will wake you from your bed
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
I feel as if I cheat
With this power you can't beat
I shine on
I shine on
For the new dawn
Crowd you out
Make you shout
Make you want what I have lead
All this sunshine in my head
Make you wish that you were dead
With all the joy that I spread
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
I'm sorry that I bled
It's this sunshine bleeding in my head
Spreading over all I touch
You know the such
I cannot feel a thing
It has no affect all that pain that you bring
I give up but it fights on
Makes me beat out your dawn
All this sun
I am one
With this sun
Wish I were done
With sunshine in my head
Makes me wish it were dead
It's in my head
In my head
In my head

(523.) Silent Gray 12/27/05 3:42 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Silent gray
I whispered I love you
To a girl who didn't care
She left
I knew I'd lost
The gray sky spoke a thousand words
Not a single one I understood
I was in hell
No reality
Could possibley show
The sadness
In every word
All one thousand sad words
Etched into the clouds
Who would soon be no more

(524.) I Couldn't Watch 12/27/05 3:46 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
With frozen tears on her face
I couldn't watch anymore
He wanted embrace
She walked out the door

(525.) God Is On Your Side 12/27/05 3:48 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
You deemed me unworthy
For the beauty you beheld
As deity you waved your hand
Soon I was forgotten
God is on your side

(526.) Little One Left Behind 12/27/05 3:58 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Hush little one
I'm still here
Be still my dear
He has not won

I need love too
I'm a human being
These eyes aren't seeing
That you are you

I see a dark
That can't light
So I have no sight
I still carry her mark

It's hardest on
The one who's left behind
With a one of a kind
Black dawn

It's okay to cry
Just be patient and forgive
Try not to relive
Their reasons why

(527.) Chaos 12/29/05 4:29 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Let the world be torn asunder
By the power bestowed in my unworthy hand
I call forth power beyond power
From darkest dark to light that shines brilliant
Combine your force within this anger I now hold
Unbind your thoughts and give unto me
Together our power shall spread apart all that we see
Forgive not those who think they are good
No good shall come from those that think it should
Purification of all land
From this power in my hand
Chaos shall reign supreme

(528.) Me For Me 01/06/06 5:53 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I once fell in love
With someone from long ago
I am still in love
With someone who could care less
I'm in love
With someone who doesn't know what love is
I hope I can find someone to love
Who loves me for me

(529.) That Feeling 01/06/06 5:59 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm taken aback
I shift uncomfy
What do I say?
You look with your doubtful eyes
I don't know what to do
Neither do you
You're so beautiful
You make me forget how to breathe
No words
Descibre
That feeling

(530.) Fridge 01/06/06 6:13 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=


(531.) Have I Strown This Far? 01/08/06 3:34 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Really, have I strown this far?
Looking back to see the path behind me
A sleepless night lit by only the feintest star
I pray for something, to someone, I don't know

I do believe, I shall go on
The road is so dauntless
When you're walking into the dawn
With no tommorrow

(532.)I Am Who I Am 01/08/06 3:38 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Who Am I?

I am the Red headed romanticist
Who
Loves the world

I am the glasses wearing poet
Who
Wishes only to help

I am the miracle birthed boy
Who
Was supposed to be a girl named Autumn Michelle.

I am the female loving hopeless
Who
Has no one to hold.

I am striving to be the hero
Who
Anyone can call on in a pinch.

I am the wise-cracking asshole
Who
Means no harm to anyone.

I am the Agnostic fool
Who
Wishes he could find an answer.

I am the second son of my mother and only son of my Father
Who
I love very dearly.

I am the student striving to go to Emory
Who
Wants to study poetry and the human psyche.

I am the special person
Who
Is told that he is smart.

I am the idiot
Who
Believes them.

I am the child loving person
Who
Wants nothing more than on to call his own.

I am the man
Who
Would be happy with nothing to his name, if he had someone to hold.

I am the sickly boy
Who
Missed so much school when he was younger.

I am the fisherman
Who
Throws himself out there everyday, hoping for a bite.

I am the one
Who
Wrote this very poem.

I am the idiot
Who
Though that was funny.

I am the one
Who
Will now call it quits.

(533.) i seem to have let go 01/08/06 3:56 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
holding dear to what i have so little of
i seem to have let go

(534.) Edible 01/08/06 3:58 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
It's bitter when I bite into it
But delicious when I throw it away

(535.) So Little 01/08/06 3:59 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
To say so much with so little
I am told it is a gift
To hear I love you
Is the only gift I need

(536.) Sun Just Out of Reach 01/09/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Like fingers reaching for a sun just out of reach
The forest sits and listens to the preacher preach

(537.) Yesterday's Labor 01/09/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Scratches on the table hint at yesterday's labor
I wonder who put them there

(538.)Translate 01/16/06 2:11 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Translate
What I now write
Into words that you can read
Since obviously
We're not speaking the same language

(539.) Moved 01/16/06 2:12 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
The mountains moved
Their grass blew gently in the wind
Slain by forceful blow
I recieve no reward but my own death


(540.) My Parents 1/18/06 12:46 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Oh father, my father
Won't you teach me how to die?
For when my time comes
I will not recieve a second try.

Oh mother, my mother
Won't you teach me how to care?
For when I'm holding her hand
I'll know she's really there.

Oh parents, my parents
I am nothing but a reflection of you
So when I look in the mirror
I know what sins that you can do.

My mother, oh my father
Look what you have done!
You brought forth this being
Upon the will of everyone

Hopeful father, caring mother
I shall always know
That I carry with me all your dreams
No matter where I go

So father, so mother
Won't you please forgive
That when I am on my own
It is not your life I live

(541.) Just Nothing 1/29/06 4:44 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Please forgive this state of mind
It's just a little mood of mine
Not knowing what to think
No depression's sink
Not happy, not sad
Not that good, not that bad
Not apathetic
Not apologetic
Just nothing

(542.) Who Are We? 1/29/06 11:29 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I am you.
You are I.
Who are we?
Emerald eyes tell me of hurt and trouble.
Black tears stain a pretty face
Porcelain skin hides that hard silver
I shall not give up
Cast aside and defeaten.
I shall not fall
For,
I am in love with an idea
An idea you must be a part of
Seventeen hours, thirty-four minutes, and ten seconds
If I am you,
Who are you?

(543.)It's Disarming 3:02 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
There's something in your eyes
It's disarming
There's something in your smile
And it's harming
All that I am.

(544.)Black Heart 02/10/06 8:36 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
As if stone
No words escape the mouth
Gravity pulls these words back
My feelings gravitate around my heart
My actions flare up from simple reactions
Black hole formed
Density at it's core
Worth more than any words
Nothing escapes it's pull

(545.)I Moved The Stars 02/10/06 8:42 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Raised arms part heavens
Bringing eyes closer to climax
A flash of luminious hopes
Spelling out the meaning of love
Simple actions bring such cataclysmic emotions
Crafted from pure dreams
These vessels of life and death
Holes in heaven
Giving peeks to what I'll never achieve
Against all odds
Raised arms bring love to life
Eyes enlightened by what they want
One man moved the stars
You were unimpressed

(546.) Harmonic 02/10/06 8:49 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
A deaf man sings a song
The blindman paints
A symphony I wrote for you
Played on broken glass
No noise was heard
No show was played
Everyone kept moving
You walked away
The standing ovation
Deafened me

*admires*

(547.)Mortalitity 02/15/06 8:07 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
As my own soul oozed from me
I did not question my mortalitity.


(548.) Perfection Over the Fence 02/17/05 6:36 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Perfection is a place you will never see
It's right over the fence covered in shade by tree
You stand on tip toe in hopes to see even a glimpse of the grass
Stop straining your kneck

(549.) You Want What I Have? 02/19/06 2:56 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
You want anger like my anger?
Fury that could burn through every soul?
From your stomach I shall rip out every death
Every life
That you f*cking repent for
You lie to yourself and to God
Each Jewel I will place on a necklace
You can swallow it again
Will it make you whole?
Full of anger, with fire in your eyes
Will you be satisfied?
No
No forgiveness
Now
Nor ever
You want sadness like you see in my eyes?
Sadness so disarming you cry at every glance
Everything you see reminds you
Reminds me
What I, no we, have done
Our hands are sullied my child
I have born you unto a world of hate
A world that I thought you would change
You changed the world
You stole his life
You stole my dreams
Our hands are bloodied with my sins
Your eyes are sad with your crimes
My anger burns only in my chest
I have failed no one but me
Perhaps you want love like my love?
Love that burns everything I touch
Love that scarred my eyes and heart
Drenched in sadness
I still give out my love
He made me
I made him
Life is so cruel
I give my love to you
I have nothing but my love
Each Jewel on my necklace, I placed for you
Wear it round your kneck
let them know my child
You carry so much on your shoulders
Please
Change my world once more

(550.) The Girl With The Stylish Hair 02/21/06 7:50 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Smile babe, you already won.
Wear your hair down and fear the sun.
Shake your hips and feel the feel.
Nostalgia and all that jazz can be real
You've got a timid look and a sad face
It may burn but it's still a warm embrace
Feel the needle pierce the skin
Loves on your side and you're bound to win
Cut the cool and quit the hate
Keep on reelin, forget the bait
Silver sleek and hope in hand
Drag the C, you're the coolest cat in all the land
Place accents on thing you can't say
You'll always get your way
Don't you shed your wings or molt your lips
Remember hun, it's all in the hips
Shake the fury and make the scene
To me it's never obscene
When angels tred in human skin
Longing for a feeling to be akin
With love and sweat, my blood and tears
Keep on shaking, it may take years
Dance, dance, dance and never stop!
Even when tempo drop
Smile babe, I like the way you are
Feigned by no scar
Place where flight once stood
Who cares what's misunderstood?
Molars shining like a new dime
An affinity for his wisdom is no crime
Three by three we stack for now
Perhaps old man winter will know how?
Short in stature and quick in speak
Perhaps that's why their knees are weak
Wearing heels for the snow day
Clap your hands say way!
Vancouver where the hope's alive
Shake the hip to the jive
Expo 86 and 2 for a dollar
With a hint of thrift store on a designer collar
Tea em in tea with Donatello and Michalangelo
Spoon God, what does he know?
But what could I possibley do for heaven's touch
I've got my music but that ain't much
Keep shaking baby, the world's starting
Soon you will be parting
Hair or sea
It's all the same to me
I know I'm not worthy to even hold your hand
But I know your secrets and I've heard the band
You've got something girl, and I've seen you wear it infront the glass
I've seen you dance and let hours pass
Show me someday why I'm not ready to be on Heaven's arming?
There's something about you girl, it's disarming
I'll write my song
You'll sing along
But I know you won't mean it

(551.) She Was Ready 02/25/06 3:36 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
She came to me and she was ready.
She was ready to give everything away.
Tears still dripping from her eyes
Voice still cracked with sadness
She was ready
Her love was so strong that it would give up itself
The man she loved was working for her
For me
She could not stand this burden
This distance
She came to me and she was ready
Beauty at her age is uncommon
She was a rare pearl to find
Beautiful even with her makeup running and her love in hand
She came to me and she was ready
To sacrfice her happiness
For mine
I knew at that moment what loves was
Love was self-detrimental
Self-sacrifisal
Unselfish
But at the same time caring only for it's self
It is a sacrifice made from it's dreams
She came to me and she was ready
her wedding ring in hand showing doubt
Showing guilt melting away the saphires
Perhaps the saphires were guilt
Hardened as a reminder to her everyday
"This man loves you" they would say
I helped him ask her that day
His heart racing and his mind not there
Thinking he was going to die
Then she just started to cry
On one knee
But not without permission from me
Which he had and will always have
But on that day, she was ready
She would not let him bear this stress any longer
She would not move her baby from his friends
Life shall be perfect for my son!
I told her to calm down
I knew she was not thinking straight
Or so I thought
She probably was thinking more clear in those moments
Than I could ever hope for
My mother came to me
With wedding ring in hand
Her husband a thousand miles away
Crying great rivers of love that would drown any man
She came to me
She was ready
I told her I loved her
I held her in embrace like the way she held me
When I was sick
When I was sad
After I had a nightmare
When anything in life had gone bad
I told her it would be alright
That he loved her too much
To just let her go
But she was ready
On that faithful day
When I decided to move away
I still lie to my friends
About why I decided to move in the end
She deserved to be with the one she loved
She had sacrificed her whole life for me
Me and my brother
A single mother and my cheating father
She raised us to be proud
To wear our badges of honor on our shirts
But to never brag outloud
She worked 2 jobs and pulled double shifts
Just so we could have Christmas
She sacrificed her happiness for us
For so long
For too long
Going from one man to another
Really anyone showing her a promising future
For her sons
But she was ready
To throw it all away
To make me happy
but I now knew what love meant
Love was making others happy
At the cost of your own
So I moved away from my friends
I started a brand new life
My mother lives with the man she loves
The man that loves her
She is happy
Through love,
I am happy

(552.) Heaven's Tounge 02/28/06 12:06 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Oh Heaven's golden light
with subtle tounge
Open mouth
What Beauty have you spit on us?

(553.) Coffee & Cigarrettes 03/07/06 11:49 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
We'll drink champagne from our coffee!
To paris in the 1920s we shall toast
With perfect resonance around the world
Free energy from the nectar of the God's
I feel so divorced from the world
The opera keeps on playing
Such sweet music to my tired ears
I'd say it was the healer
The tree hugger
Drug dealing bastard
but no, the DJ keeps the beta going
Perhaps,
The world stopped spinning,
May I get off?
No rest for resting
No hope for the hopeful
So far away
Brazil
Brazil
I'm coming home
After my coffee break
To moulin rouge and the late 70s
No thank you, I don't like cigarrettes
They'll kill you you know
Besides, no smoking in the lobby
How much longer do we have to drink champagne?
2 minutes?
I think I'll take a nap
Wake me up when the opera's over

535...not bad.

Stoic, autonomistic, and nihilistic.
Not bad poetry at all.

Don't go thinking all my poems are so apathetic towards life.


(554.) Why in the Spring? 03/12/06 12:26 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm not saying you don't love him
I'm not saying he doesn't love you
I'm saying you're getting married in the spring
You just met in the winter
Teenage love is not a lie
But it has no foundation
Those with no legs cannot stand
On their own two feet
He may be your crutch
She may be your pillar of light
Or some other philosophical bullsh*t
You just met him
You cannot claim love at first sight
untill you are much older
Older than you are now
You have to go through love
Many times
Before you can even claim you know what it is
Even then you'll be wrong
I waited 7 god damn months
7 months
Do you know how long that is?
When since week one you have been yearning
To SCREAM it at her
but I waited
Till I meant it in every god damn way I could find
It hurts much more to hear it
and be lied to
Then to never hear it at all
Please,
make sure you mean it before you say it
Please,
think before you act
I am not saying you're not in love
I am not saying you're lying
I am saying you are stupid
That I am stupid
That there is no one whoever was
or ever will be
Who was smart enough to claim any knowledge
in something called love
Distinguish between love and hormones
Distinguish fast
It may be your downfall
You just met in the winter
Why get married in the spring?

(555.) Choose 03/13/06 12:56 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm loved, this I know
Why can't I like these?
It's so obvious that they want
Want what I am
I throw myself at those that don't
Don't want what I give
But all I give is myself

(556.) Firefly 03/13/06 12:58 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Love eludes me, like firefly
I have my jar in hand
One leaf and two twigs
Holes poked in top
So that I won't suffocate
Love that is so elusive
One warm summer night
I caught love
Flashing brightly full of dreams
I didn't know,
I was so young
So young and so full of hope
Hope fors futures
Futures with love
I should have let it go
Caught it again
But it's light blinked twice
I shed one tear, no more, no less
Love left
This place
This world
It left me

(557.) 1000 Candles 03/13/06 1:05 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Oh the lights
Jay look at the hues
It is so hard to imagine
My flower is in those lights
1000 candles burning
All at once
I hope my flower
Isn't ablaze

(558.) Relationship 03/13/06 1:08 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
1, I count sadly
2, there is hope
3, is too many

(559.) Equality 03/18/06 12:35 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
One life for another
One arm for one arm
One symbol drawn in blood
He burns the man alive
The children ate slowly at it's flesh
Newborn children with ravenous eyes
One heart, one soul
I give for you
You would kill your own son
To live
I drew one symbol on the ground
5 symbols on my body
My new body
He would have his life
I would have my faith
He is new
I am old
Life has begun once more
In tragedy

(560.) Dayku? 03/21/06 1:06 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Just like those old days
With sunshine full of love
Days we never had

(561.) Feint Glow 03/26/06 3:36 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
There's a feint glow over the arena
I think it's love
Whatever it may be
I want to catch it

(562.)so Apologetic 03/26/06 3:41 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I should not be so apologetic
Over something as grand a gift as this
Then why do I say sorry,
After every "I love you"?

(563.) 17 Years of Life 03/26/06 4:03 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
What if I worry for tommorrow,
but party for today?
I set my plans on golden pillars
yet act them out on paper hopes
Ripping holes in things unrippable
Repairing holes in things unhurt
Dreaming dreams in other languages
Languages I don't know
thinking about life and all that implies
While I waste it away
17 years in,
Already behind
It's time
To catch up

(564.) Morning Air 03/28/06 6:31 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Good morning time,
Good morning space.
Good morning world,
and the human race.

Dawn is an instance,
One tiny little spot
Keeping pace with life
Not once was it caught.

I woke up early
I thought to myself
If this trully were reality
Would it realize itself?

Street lights fading
Let me know the cause
The cause for my distant longing
Is brought forth inside my flaws

Moon stays out past it's bedtime
Stealing a bit of light from our daytime
But it won't be out a longtime
Just long enough to live a lifetime

The day that I shall die
That is the day on which I shall realize
The thing for which I long
Was right before my eyes

All this thinking
Has left my mind in wreck
Thought of my insignificance
I am but tiny speck

When mist clears from the ground
I hope the world is still here
For if it were to vanish before I said goodbye
The world would drown beneath my tear

The new day is my canvas
I have come to paint
The only thing I hope for
Is that I show restraint

Who is it that I wake for?
What reason do I live?
Through all my years of exisistence
An answer life will not give

I have come to realize
That things are not always fair
But I have accepted this
As I breathe in morning air

(565.)I'm Really In Love, With Nothing 04/26/06 3:00 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Please, stop.
you're not in love
Please stop,
neither was I
Please stop claiming that you're in love
There is no way that me
nor you
nor anyone in our day
in our age
or life
could ever understand
what the fuh...
What are you doing?
I hate what you do,
but I have no right
for I don't know what hate
is.
it's just you hormones
open your eyes,
close your legs.
you don't know love
Please stop,
I love you.
and you're breaking my heart


(566.) Valant Knight 04/26/06 3:05 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Knight in shining armor
Man of steel
beneath the flesh
beneath the steel
I recieve no solice
in your empty words
In your empty eyes,
the only things of you
visible beneath that armor
Armor I want to
penetrate
keep being valant
knight
A knight who saves us all
I found your chink
let me repair it
you ignore me and save the world
I'm you,
listen to my words.

(567.) I Can't Believe the Truth 05/01/06 12:53 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Do you know where they grow?
The ones who seem to know.
No longer live.

It would seem
We're living in a dream
Cut short

By the new day
Which shines as if to say "Hurray!"
Optimism wasted

Wasted perhaps on my callous youth
Which askes for far too much truth
None of which I believe

Please, just go ahead and lie
The truth would be too much for me to try
To some how understand

I'd lie to myself if it made it easier to live
So many lies so little to give
Too bad I gave up

(568.)I Walk In Valleys Where Gardens Grow 04/26/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
I walk in valleys where gardens grow
And gardens how they grow
All the while I'll always know
You will never show
That you will love
and that I will care
and that we will sometimes be together
but still I know
that I will walk through the valleys where the gardens grow
oh the gardens grow
with vines so high
and roses so full of pain
I know that I will always walk in the valley
oh the valley where the garden grows
the rain runs down the mountain
drowning us beneath
but always after bodies wash away
the garden grows
the garden grows

(569.) I Will Lick You Like Flames 05/02/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
And I will lick you like flames
Flames escaping from a lost hope
a forgotten dream
my embers will burn holes in your heart
I will use every bit of this oxygen you call
life
my tounge will quell whatever fears that your soul
may
could
will
ever have
I see you, sitting to the side dejected and alone
may I comfort you?
my cat will wander the streets in front of my home
she will not come home lest I bring her
must I bring you home?
I worry, we all know I worry
to worry about something so carefree
I drown myself in idiocy
suicidal thoughts and a caring friend
these are the only things that keep you sane
but my fire shall burn bright
I met a harlet
she showed her love to me
she showered me with it
All she wanted was a good time
Should I feel bad to deliver?
There was an irate look that her voice often took
She, not knowing what she wants from life
Wanted me
if only for an instance
Quickly she changed her mind and was less than kind
She still calls me though
Is she calling for help?
Confusing the hell out of me
Then there is another,
she invites me to her home
She shares her stories
She lays on my arm
She speaks of other men
other boys
other passion
I back away and don't know what to do
the cards all said I would be rewarded
that my work with all these fickle matters
will bring me someone to make happy
let's hope they make me happy too
should I stay alone,
and bring home my cat,
but once a week?
who will be my air?
where shall I burn?
I would love to comfort you
show you the world is grand
may I warm your heart
warm it with what little love I have
do you already have a flame?
should I just fade out?
No
I see you across from me
I see your sweet smile
of insecurity
not knowing what to think of me
and it warms my day
you add coal to my cold fire
I want you to sit next to me
take warmth in my love when you are cold
take comfort in my passion when you are lonely
the wind outside is chilling
my furnace burns strong
but weak
I shall bottle up my fire
my love
were you to let me in
I would shower you in flames of gold
gold that midas himself would be jealous of
flames that satan himself would fall to
love that would burn hell
love that would light earth and sky
love that I have little of
but save it all for
someone
someone who needs to keep warm
come,
sit by the fire with me
let me set your soul ablaze

(570.)Cherry Lozenges 05/04/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Her whole world is cherry Lozenges
Melting down for short satisfactions

(571.)No One But A Stranger 05/04/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
No one loves them
No one cares
But me and a stranger

(572.) Say, 05/04/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Say,
Who is in those sheepish shoes?
Why are black men singin the blues?
For two dollars I get a quarter
The rest is nothing but disorder
It's the pretensious few
Who look down their noses into mirrors, accusing you

Say,
Who's right?

570 is quirky. I likes that.

(573.)No War Today 05/05/06 3:43 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Tears ran down a pretty face
Words fell out a wretched mouth
The feelings shared were nothing more than sadness
No war today, no war tommorrow.

(574.) Sea of Regrets 05/08/06 10:21 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm nothing but a sailor
In a sea of regrets
Wearing a life jacket of dreams
No ammount of hope,
is going to fix the hole in the boat

(575.) Fickle Life 05/16/06 11:36 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Oh, fickle life, what do I want from you?
Oh fickle me, what do you want of yourself?
These questions will go unanswered
Unless I answer them.
For a world I love so much
So much I find to hate
So much I plan to fix
So little time

(576.) Oh Hopeless Inhibitions 05/31/06 8:00 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Oh shadow on the window
Are you a reflection of me?
Oh darkness on my shoulder
Do you oppress or set me free?

With severed hands and open arms
I clap to you for your trangressions
With my empty hopes and foolish dreams
I melt away all of my agressions

If people were naught but wishes
I would keep them for a rainy day
If the world would ever have me
I do believe I'd send it away

Wading through the mellow hours
Drifting through the countless days
I sway in motion with the water
Floating wherever it sways

Oh callous aspirations
What am I living for?
Oh hopeless inhibitions
Do you not hold me anymore?

I would dream of nowhere
If I could share it with you
But I think of somewhere
And I know not what to do

(577.) Billaird Balls 06/01/06 11:50 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Contemplating the thought patterns of billaird balls
I glanced across the memorabelia on the walls
None of her words made any sense
I haven't seen my mind since

(578.) Your New Life 06/06/06 5:35 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I come in peace
I leave in pieces
Cliched ryhmes
It never ceases

I've come for love
I'm come for you
Clear the way
And let me through

I wrote a poem
It contained words
To let you know
Which side I'm leaning towards

I haven't come to love you
I only come to free
I don't want to hold you
You're not for me

My soul says to love you
My heart says to love you
My mind says to love you
I say save you

Save you from this
This life you made for yourself
This detrimental thing
That does not involve myself

I want no part in your new life
To go through that again
I want no part in your new life
So come to me my friend

I apologize
I only want to help


(579.) Huddled Over Trashcans 06/06/06 11:58 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I miss the warmth
The warmth of sorrys
The immersion in healing flames
That no matter how soddened with tears
Will always blot away the sadness
I don't miss anyone
I just miss an emotion
An emoton that will catch me when I fall
From any height
No one offers me the warmth anymore
To make one's own fire
is like burning the money
that keeps you warm and alive
in a trashcan
to stay warm and alive
No one should experience such a squalor
Yet I live it everyday
Smiling with a warm smile
Despite my kiln being cold
No ammount of layers
Can keep you warm on the outside
When you're numb and cold
On the inside
Hell,
I live you
Life,
I love you
Love,
I am in your hell

(580.) Love Is My Religion 06/07/06 5:12 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Love is my religion
Art is my bible
I walk in utopia
Watering the flowers
For the others who come after
I hobble in inferno
Building bridges over abysses
For those who fall behind me
These poems are my prayers
Each soul is my church
I cull where I implore
I have faith in love
Because it has faith in me

(581.) A Questionare 06/21/06 11:15 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Would you give your life for theirs?
Would you happily live your life with this person?
Are they your best friend?
Are you safe in their arms?
Do they make you smile with everything they do?
Do you laugh at the stupidest little jokes they make?
Have you laid next to them and been happy just to be there?
Have you found yourself thinking of them when they're not around?
Does your chest flutter when they're near?
Does the day seem greater, and the night more starry by their side?
Can you honestly say they're your happiness?
Can you let them in on your darkest secrets?
Could you die today, and have no regret bigger than spending more time with them?
Could you cry in front of them?
Would you be honored if they cried in front of you?
Are your sleeves their hankerchiefs?
Do you miss them when they're not there?
Have you memorized their smell?
Does the will to write them ANYTHING, eat you up inside?
Can you remember things about them, even if they only told you once?
Could the world stop from your passion alone?
Is it all mutual?
Answer these questions, then answer your own.
Then maybe you can claim that you're in love.
Untill then, maybe even after then, you've got nothing but a dream
Craft this dream, cull this dream
Someday it will bloom to be love

(582.) The First Of many 06/22/06 7:40 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Rest your head with me
I'll light the stars ablaze
Just for you to see

Let me kiss your skin
Every inch I like more
I know not where to begin

It's a beautiful day
With the sun in hand
I will light your way

Follow closesly by my side
Let me show your affection
I shall wear you with pride

I'll paint you with desire
Use you as my canvas
You will feel the warmth of my fire

(583.)God of Land & Sky 06/24/06 12:31 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm a god of land and sky
The Earth's my lover and I'll tell you why
It rumbles fire down in it's core
I'm the one it rumbles for
Mountains high and rivers low
They grow and flow, for reasons only I know
Traversed the land from coast to coast
Of worldly matters, I know the most
Seen the sky black and blue
Hell I'm the one that makes the hue
Take my hand and you will see
Just why this planet was made for me
From each human, every race
I have crafted each and every face
You disbelieve me now
But soon, soon my dear, you will see how
Follow closesly behind my step
Of the things we see, I am very hep
Trends in weather?
I'll have you know I am the trendsetter
With vibrant wings and slow hands
You will see how I have formed the lands
Look into my eyes
You'll hear naught but truths, you'll see no lies
Thoughts of the new day
They bend on knee to pray
I will bring them a tommorrow
But first, free my sorrow
You seem to be the only one
Who cares...

(584.) Firefly For Show 06/26/06 1:18 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Like a firefly flashing in hopes of finding a companion
I show the world my dreams in hopes of finding you

(585.) A World Based on Love 06/26/06 1:21 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Come, we will build the world together
A world based soley on love
Will surely someday fall
Lets be there to catch it

(586.) You Know Your Way Around The Stars 06/26/06 1:24 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Perhaps if you lead the way,
I could get lost in your eyes

(587.) Autumn Leaves 06/26/06 1:28 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Red leaves fall from autumn trees
Sad tears roll down a pretty face
The sky is orange with anticipation
My arms are open with comfort

(588.) Puzzle Piece 06/26/06 1:33 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
There's a certain spot on your shoulder
Where I fit so perfectly
There's so many places where you fit just right
So my little puzzle piece,
Are you complete?

(589.) Why Not Walk On Water? 06/26/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Treading softly on the reflection of our amour
The pool of passion never once gives way

(590.) Trust Me 06/26/06 1:47 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Your words,
My ears.
My dreams,
Your fears.
Your eyes,
My relief.
My heart,
Your belief.

(591.) A Beauty So Pure 07/01/06 2:01 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
To show a beauty so pure,
Would be a god dying at your feet
Through all the blood and pain
Wash away all the sadness
When you are drowned in your sea of guilt
And the only thing keeping your head above the water
Is this beautiful creature lying at your feet
This beautiful dead God
And it's love
It's love that stains your hands
The love that died for you
Beauty so pure
Is so frail
It would shatter in your hands
And lie dead at your feet
But when your think your tears are coming
You can not cry,
You can only marvel in it's brilliance

(592.) Fall 07/05/06 7:39 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I expect no reward,
I want you to feel no remorse
Your happiness,
is all I want.
So,
when I fall
fall in love
fall in combat
Fall for you
Do not worry
I fell not in vain

(593.) City In My Mind 07/05/06 7:57 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I view skies of Gray
Dark towers with green lights
Towers breaking through the sky
Lightning breaking through the ground
Ruby eyes dotting each street corner
Ruby fires dotting every soul
Fueled by love
Fueled by hate
Murderous creatures
Loving paladins
They roam this city
This city in my mind
Warring for affection
Warring for revenge
Shall I grant them their wishes
In this city with it's cracked streets
It's broken streetlights
Skyscrapers scraping nothing but their agitation
Down with the monotany!
Down with the change!
Let's live life
Not just watch as it goes by
In my city
In my brain
I sneak away
To sooth the pain
Within this city
inside my mind
I am not special
Here is more of my kind
Clouds curtain the world
The world from the sun
Gray skies overshadow
That life has begun
Why is something so dark,
so beautiful and reassurring
In this world of bright skies
And lions roaring
In this city
Inside my brain
As the rain
Runs down cracked window pane
Let me walk the streets with you
Show you my home

(594.) Thin Line
=---------------------------------------------------=
Joy, you come to me when I am at my lowest.
You mock me at my highest
Sorrow, you mock me when I am at my lowest.
You come to me when I am at my highest.
Deep lashes do you leave in your wake
Hard callous scars mark where you walk
Scars of the flesh and of the spirit
One I show with pride
The other I boast with envy
I walk this fine line between you
This gray space in time
This gray space in me
Either side is deep oceans
Oceans I would gladly drown in
My choices in the clouds
My dreams in my hands
I would gladly drown in these regrets


(595.) I Would Not Walk 07/09/06 7:37 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I would not walk,
In fear I leave you mind
I could not talk,
For I do not want to dull you
Should I breathe,
Or fear that I may take your air
Can I grieve,
I do not want to drown you in my tears
I shall not spread my wings,
So that I may still walk through your door
I shall bow to you as I would to kings,
Just so I could be closer to your floor
I Dare not think,
For fear that I may forget
Shall I not swim than sink,
So that I may be your stepping stone
I will not, no, I can not die,
For who will be there to catch you when you fall
But how will I, no, how can I,
Live when you are not with me


(596.) That Smell 07/11/06 1:59 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm not sure what it was
There was just something
Something about the way he held it in his fingers
I could tell he could not live without it
But wanted to throw it away for good
It was in his eyes too
A pure love
A purer hatred
Was it addiction?
Or purely habit?
I'm not sure
So I go to buy him more


(597.) Whole Truths 07/11/06 2:04 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
In life I live half-lifes
In lies I tell whole truths
On either side of coin I flip,
I shall always lose to you

(598.) A Degree In You 07/18/06 11:27 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Come, take off that etamine.
You know you're my amphetamine
Drive my brain
Stop driving me insane
I can't fight this afinity
Help me find infinity
This love is estoric
Come with me, we'll make it historic
Speak to me of theory
Speak untill you're weary
I will devour every letter
Each word tastes even better
Teach me of your world and ways
I have endless, countless days
Study of only one subject will do
I need a degree in you

(599.) Sacrificial Bonds
=---------------------------------------------------=
Sacrificial bonds we tie
In hopes of being together
While stripping away our own self
We gladly clothe our love with shed life
When they do the same
Trully,
We shall never be naked
When we have love

(600.) The Glass Bottom In My Soul
=---------------------------------------------------=
I was too foolish in my searching
Too hasty in my retreats
I don't need love
I want love
But I couldn't differentiate
Who could?
My God, who could?
Not me,
I've failed
I have honestly failed
It has been so long since I've fealt this
This feeling of overwhelming defeat
Tears come to me
Not in sadness
Not in happiness
Just in defeat
I've held the world on my shoulders
And I dropped it
You forgive me,
You all do eventually
But I can't forgive myself
Love is something for those who deserve it
I deserve nothing
No pity
No sympathy
Just, this defeat
I won't let myself stay fallen
But I won't fly so high again
Reaching for the highest shelf
ever so slightly out of my reach
I'll never get it on my own
But I'll never want it with you helping me
I write these words
For me
To bandage wounds I myself have inflicted
To sever ties I myself have hoped for
Life comes on no silver platter
Dreams can never be granted
Lest you live them
But to live I have to wake up
And end my infinite dreaming
God is just another thing I dream of
Surely I can't be a god
Not without you atleast
But I don't even know who you are
I have hit my low
Scraped away the darkness that covered my glass bottom
And looked at the helpless me,
Cowering in the corner
It made me want to cry
So with a heavy heart
I apologize
May those who believe in me,
never read my weakness
For those who follow me,
may you never doubt
Like I have

(601.) Sun In My Hand
=---------------------------------------------------=
I would hold the sun in my hands
If it did not burn me so cruelly
I sit in it's warm light
I bathe in it's rivers of rays
But it scars me
I drink too much from it's goblet
And I shall surely die
I cannot live without it's warmth
Though someday I will die by it's light
Fly too close and your wings will surely melt
I hold your love in my hand
And it burns me.

(602.) God's In My Engine
=---------------------------------------------------=
God is in the asphault.
I drive him everyday
God was in the dinosaurs
Who fell into tar they say
Dinosaurs died so long ago
Yet we use them still today
So technically God's in the oil too
I have the holy spirit in my engine, hurray!

(603.) Love Is Blind
=---------------------------------------------------=
Love is blind,
That doesn't matter
All it needs to do,
is read the brail on my heart

(604.) Close By
=---------------------------------------------------=
I second guess myself
She has done nothing wrong
But I seem to hurt her
Temptations of the flesh overtake my judgement
I can tell she doesn't like that
She likes the heat of the moment
In the moment
But never before
Surely not after
My mother says to wait
But I've hurt enough
She opened up to me
Shared some of her most inner secrets
I'm such a horrible person
I would take this trust she gives me
And turn on her
But I will not betray her
She's special,
But she's not for me
I didn't know that at the time
I feel so horrible
God, I rarely speak to you
But please, oh please,
Let her not hate me
I can't keep her close
But let me keep her close by

(605.) Would You Birth A God?
=---------------------------------------------------=
Would you birth a god?
Smother it in hatred
And unleash it on the world.
Would you birth a god?
Lavish it in love
And give it to the world.
I ask you,
I implore you,
I adore you,
hold my love in your womb.
Deluge it with whatever emotion
you deem fitting
All I ask
is that you acknowledge it
Abort it
Force it
Be it
Just,
Love me


(606.) Ethereal Soul 08/13/06 5:48 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Oh ethereal soul
How can I keep you in?
When you're not even real.

(607.) Take What You Will 08/13/06 5:52 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Provoke my thoughts
Probe my mind
Stab your needle anywhere
Take any fluid you want
My brain is nothing
My feelings mean naught
My heart is black and useless
Please, just leave me my dignity
Because you've already taken my soul.

(608.) I Sure Hope 08/13/06 5:55 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I sure hope there's a heaven
I think there's a hell
Not as if it matters
To me

(609.) The Coward's Way? 08/13/06 5:58 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I know you're only trying to help
But just let me feel sorry for myself
Let me fester in my own brooding sadness
Stop trying to fix me
I'm not broken
Just wishing I were

(610.) Brittle Bones 08/21/06 10:06 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Well these bones are too brittle
I still can't believe they won't break
Well these tears sting too bad
Why don't my eyes just melt?
My raionale is too frail
Will my world crumble?
My beliefs are too weak
Can God still love me?

(611.) Carbonation 08/21/06 10:08 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Live life in a bottle
Uncork and run over
I'll fizz till I'm gone
No carbonation to explode

(612.) Atleast I Asked 08/21/06 10:09 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I asked God why,
Not once did he ever answer me.

(613.) An Ideal 08/21/06 10:10 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm only in love with an ideal
An idealistic view that someday I'll find love
Someday on my journeys
During one day in my campaign to make the world a better place
I'll meet a girl who I'll love at first sight
Who I'll one day marry
Settle down with
be happy
But I already know I won't believe myself
And I'll just ignore the notion of love
The only notion I look forward to

(614.) Mirror Land 09/10/06 7:54 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Please, let me follow you through that window
The mirror in the corner
a window to exotic lands
Dreams come true, hopes become material
And I hold my future in my hands.
You take it from my grasp
You go back to your land of fantasy
You leave me behind
I can not follow
I can only watch you walk away
Holding my future in your deliquecent hands
Carry them softly,
I look forward to our tommorrow.

(615.) Marble Floor 09/10/06 7:58 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
You traverse the marble slates
That spread the width of my mind
You tempt me
With your silver wings of silk
Oh you harlette of disdaine colors
I love the way you wear your personality
You've got something about you,
And I love the way you flaunt it
The endless halls within my mind
lead all to the end
The end of you,
please guide me to the entrance
I want to go again

(616.) Sweet Fruit 09/17/06 5:55 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Sweet fruit from a tree just out of reach
I long for the sweet offspring as a delicate girl tries to preach
I think how beautiful she must trully be
Beneath all those words she's thrown at me
I love her despite her best efforts to drive me away
She could scream to her God almighty every day
But in those moments when she's just herself
And not another vessel for a religion taken off a generic shelf
She is beautiful, this I know
Blind, but not with the love I show
My glasses are useless, my words are frail
Her skin is soft, her texture pale
I'll show her my affection tonight,
but of that temptatious fruit I will never bite
I'll always listen to you sermon,
but will you?

(617.) I Long TO Kiss Her 09/17/06 6:00 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Soft pillows on the bed
heads entwined by love

(618.) Inside The Outside 09/17/06 6:01 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Inside of me is a lover
Outside a fighter
Inside I will cry
Outside shed not a tear
Inside I fel empowered
Outside I empower
Inside I am quiet
Outside I won't shut-up
Inside I love you
Outside I'll stay your friend
Inside I have an image
Outside a canvas
Inside I have a plan
Outside is the world

(619.) I'll Change You World 09/17/06 6:03 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'll change you world
I'll change your ways
I'll change your people
I'll change you,
just as much
As she changes me

(620.) In The Dark 09/17/06 6:05 A.M
=---------------------------------------------------=
Oh I was blind
oh we were free
But I open my eyes
and despise what they see
Honey we're together
but only in the dark
And my eyes can't adjust
by the light of a spark

(621.) I Miss You Mom 09/20/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Though we are far apart
I am there for you
Though the world is between us
I love you
No matter how far apart we ar
I'll miss you

(622.) Together 09/20/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Please,
Listen
I speak only the truth
I,
the son of my mother
Love you,
the daughter of the world
But you think I'm lying
You say love is not enough
I say it's all we have
Surely we can make it be enough
But not alone,
it will never be enough alone
I listen to your meaningless stories
I laugh,
I have told you of your beauty
You tell me my opinion counts for something
But that you hate me
Yet you feel at peace in my embrace
I saw you stare at me,
When they said to tell someone you loved them
Trust me,
I can't promise I won't eventually hurt you,
but I can promise that I will make you the happiest girl in the world.
If you only trust me,
not even trust me.
Trust in love
we will make it enough
Together

(622.) Pessimistic Children 09/20/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Small children listened to their parents
Their parents were filled with hate
Hate for all the men who came before them
Hate that the children now spread
against each other
children listen to your parents
Parents listen to your words
Your children live on those words
And happiness can not live on hateful words
only sadness lives on such little hope

(623.) I Moved The Stars 09/24/06 9:44 P.M. 2nd 09/27/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
I move the stars for no one,
Because no one ever looks up.

I change the world for no one
Because you never look around

I bled out my soul on paper
Paper that you will never read.

But it means nothing
Since you paid me no mind

I'm going to use all my might
To spell out my love in the stars

But no one will ever read it
Because I don't love you

Because you're too blind with hatred
To look up

(625.) It Felt Horriblely Good 09/24/06 10:25 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'll be honest with you,
I loved holding her hand
it made me feel at peace with the world
She smiled at me too
She smiled all day that day
But I was with someone else
And I felt horrible for it.

(626.) I'll Save Your World 09/29/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
She calls me when the world is dying
In public she says she loves me no mor
In private she says she never did
But when the world is ending, she loves me
She always loved me and she misses me
But i save the world, and life goes on
I'm nothing but a regret
I love being there for you
I've always loved you
Since the first time i said it I meant it forever
I asked the world what love was
And I made sure I meant it by every definition
By the lake's, the ocean's, the mountain's, and the people's
I'll always love you
I'll always be there
But the world someday will die
Long after I'm gone
Will you speak your mind,
or your heart?
The world is dying once again
You call crying once more
I will save your world
But please stop destroying mine

(627.) Goodnight Kiss 09/29/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
It's been 3 years
3 long years
But you miss me
I miss you too
I didn't get my goodnight kiss
I danced with you for hours under the stars
but fate was cruel
And you let us behind in our small world
I left our small world
I found you in my travels
You have seen the world,
but I can't see mine
without a good night kiss

(628.) I Bathe In Sun Rays 09/29/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
I bathe in sun rays but stay pale
I wear boots for wading when the water's not there
I wear shirts I made myself for people I'll never meet
I sacrificed my future so you can forget the past
I love the world through all the hate
An optimist amongst the pessmism
I'll change the hate to love
I'll love those that hate
For my children, for all those who come after
Have faith in one another, world is cruel
The world will be beautiful when it's your turn to run it
I'll leave a full tank of hope,
rule safely with love
The world will hate you,
it's up to you to love

(629.) I'm Not So Sad 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
I know it seem like I am in misery
But you do mean so much to me
We fight all the time
For no reason, for no rhyme
I would feel so lost without you
I want nothing new
Please stay with me, it's all I need
Without you, I could not proceed
Please, just say you love me
That's all I need, you'll see

(630.) Speak True 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
When yesterday my love did leave
I cried so many tears from my eyes
The feeling so betrayed inside
Her crying words turned to spies

After careful contemplation
I have come to an end
With a kiss sealed envelope
My love once again I will send

Carefully selected verbs and nouns
To her ears my heart shall bleed
If only I had the way
I would ride to her on ivory steed

Als I know of the truth
My words will mean naught
Upon recieving my love
She will detest me on the spot

I am a firm believer in one law
When I speak my true emotions with no less
Then things will work out in the end
Perhaps not how I want, but always for the best

(631.) Just Friends 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
You're puzzling me to pieces
Pieces I can't place
I have no need for love right now
Arts bring smiles to my face

I shall watch every movie
I shall listen to every song
Actors play their parts
Young then but now long gone

I want your friendship
Please stop giving me your love
I don't want to hurt you
But I cannot make you my dove

I did not lead you on
I just gave you a smile
Passing compliments here and there
I would die for you and have my body dragged a mile

No love, please don't make me break your heart
Your joy is what I want, no, need
But being with me is not meant to be
Listen to my words and take heed

(632.) Celestial Might 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Love does not come easy for us humans
Yet we pray to God for safe passage

(633.) Dr. To The Wife Of Bath 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
My dear madame new of your escapades
Leaves me rather wonderous of your spades

Perhaps you are sick and do not know it
Your sickness makes you wordly, I'll show it

I could examine you for a small fee
To be sure you caught nothing in gallalee

You can afford such a simple check
Perhaps that is more than a mole upon your neck

Though the check is simple, the price is not
My dear, my services must be bought

(634.) Her Scent Linger 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Can they smell it on me?
The smell of where she once was
I feel them search me over with their eyes
But do they see me?
Can they truly see who I am?
Or merely who they want to see?
I let them see what they want me to be
Because at times it's who I want to be
Beneath the skin
Under the mask
I'm here
Happy
Deep in thought
But happy
Where others find fear
I make my bed in comfort
Her scent still lingered on me
They may not smell it
but I do
And I smell their fear
Worry not, I mean no ill chance
I mean only hope for you

(635.) Climax 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
I move them to climax of ecstacy
I spell my love in stars you shall never read

(636.) Plant Carefully Your Seeds 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Teenage love rarely lasts
It's not true love lest you mean it later
After they've broken every dream you gave them
And spat on every thought you've spoken
You still love them.
Stop looking for love in those who know not the meaning
Stop falling if you don't know what will catch you
Even if you somehow find love
It will not always be mutual
But go not unrequited in love
You will give till you are not but bone
They will never wear your flesh as a prideful sign
And you shall never touch their's
Choose where you sow the seeds of love
It is a fickle tree
You need warm adoration shining down
Their touch to grow in
And their love to fee from
You have only so many seeds
Only so many trees can never grow
Before you've nothing left to care for
But yourself
Lonliness is no feast
It is only empty promises
Promises that taste of sadness
Stop trying for love
When all there is to feel is hormones

(637.) Freckled Face 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
As her world came crumbling down
It was crashing down too fast to evacuate
Despite her years of preparing
No amount of time would make the world wait

In all the worries that freckled her face
She was so beautiful
No make-up woul hide her sadness
But no lying could cover up my love so plentiful

(638.) Five Men (Incomplete) 10/21/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Five men stood before the door
I lost count of the stones on the floor
There were more who passed away
But that is neither this nor that way
Love, hope, trust, faith, and death
Each one could easyily be on their last breath
Love was a kind old man who lost his mind
But amongst the five he was the most one of a kind
Hope was young and full of himself
He was fading fast for cancer took his good health
Trust was shy and quite the recluse
For life had slowly tied his neck in a noose
Faith was ignorant, but kind at heart
From trusts side he would never part
Death was tall and the most confident
For the others to the grave he could have sent
Love knew more than all the rest
but his mind and soul were in unrest
Hope would not surrender to the world
Despite mankind being quite unfurled
Trust could not confide in his fellow man
Because he saw the world, and after that no man can
Faith saw the world in simple terms
In black and white his beliefs were firm
Death smiled and spoke unto the men
"Oh my brothers I remember when
The world was young
The words were sung
And we all got along.
But now that beauty is gone, I miss her song."
Beauty was the mother of them all
Of all that stood and those still to fall
Death betrayed no one
Faith picked fights with everyone
Trust was sad and frail
For hope would always try and often fail
Love stopped speaking legibley
But his words were clear to me
Or so I hope
Perhaps he asked a maiden to elope?
We're never sure what he means
Did he just ask for magic beans?
Senile in his old age
But still as wise as any sage
The men say and spoke of care
The boy who was no longer there
Who's sweet innocence warmed their soul
And made the day that much more whole
Death was frightening to those who knew him not
But his friends were calm and not distraught
Death was no one to be feared
He only guided those who needed to be steered
I find comfort in the thought of him
A light where the soul is dim
Gaurding those who lose their way
He brings hope I would say
Yet he still strikes dissent into everyone
If you took time to know him, this would not be done

(639.) Perhaps My Thoughts Will Return 10/22/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm feeling rather empty,
Not sure what to write
Nothing feels right
Perhaps my thought are gone

(640.) Wearing Make-up 10/22/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Something poetic?
Is that all I need to say?
My heart flutters like fireflies on a summer night
It's bullsh*t
just covering up the simple,
In a beautiful way
I'd much rather just say "I'm heart-broken"
but that's not pretty enough
I'm feeling like god himself has groped my insides
the divine feeling of being punished
Just can't be described by "I'm heart broken"
No, fate itself has proverbially f*cked my innards
I just want the pain to stop
This melancholy drifting does me no good
Dolling it up with words does me no better
But I find consolance in those words
Those life jacket like words
Keeping my head barely above depression
I'm sinking
I'm drowning
I'm just sad
Why won't she just let me on the boat?

(641.) This is a bad poem 10/22/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Boo said the ghost of christmas past
They all cried out as the apirition flew fast
Down main street he dissapeared
Fat with food, choking be the only thing he feared
Eat and eat was all he knew
Choked to death becase he didn't chew

Chew his food he did not
So soon to life he said adieu

(642.) Words Fail 10/22/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Why should I lie by saying words?
Words cannot describe this emotion
That it is better to speak
than to keep this feeling inside me
But what is this emotion?
It's not love
It's not friendship
It's wanting to warm you when you're cold
It's wanting to dry your tears
It's wanting to make you happy
So, f*cking happy
But not being able to show it
Because I'm too scared you'll ask
What I call it
And you know not the word

(643.) God's Art 10/25/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
God's brush sroke
He has painted the very sun into the sky
With small swirls wind awaken the leaves
dancing with each other
with their crimson colors
such as embers round flame
When all the leaves have floated away
when the trees are barren with despair
A simple stroke and blossoms burst with life
One slash of paint strikes down all that stand in God's way
God is an artist
He paints in vibrant love
what is the color of love?
it is the color of the soul
The color of the unknown
to express the enigma
which defines life
with artful care
God will paint us the world
God will manifest us with celestial brush
You say life is ugly
I say it is beautiful
Let us not judge the art of God
Merely admire the picture

(644.) Hold Out, I'm Coming 10/25/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
One room
Two souls
Countless nights of hunger
Poverty makes no friends
Hunger makes only grumbles
Jobs worked to the bone
They're both so tiny
I want to save them
Carry them to a better life
But I'm too young
too inexperienced in the world
worlds apart from me
I hide hope under the milk carton
Hope in the form of a $50 bill
I've no need for it
I have a want
But that is overcome by their need
By my love
Ride out the storm
I'll come save you
Just give me time to mature
When the time comes
I will save you
I will by the God damn grace of my hands
Save you
I will carry you on my back through the flames of hell
To safety
For I love you
I don't want to take you to bed
I want to take you home
You are my family
not of blood
But of love
2 souls
1 love
Countless reasons to hold out

(645.) Topic: Shoes 11/01/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
Walking in ruby slippers
She glides gracefully across the screen
Color temptress of the world
We rest in black and white
But dream in vibrant hues
Our dreams manifest into Gods
beasts
and loves
You were there
he was too
and you were in love

(646.) Topic: Food 11/01/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
If the world was made of gumdrops
the world would be melting
If the world was made of chicken
It'd be half-cooked
If the world was made of Skittles
the blue would kill the red
If the world was made of food
We'd eat it all too fast

(647.) Topic: Hate 11/01/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
You're blind
Blind with hate
blind with eyes of glass
That shattered and you put them back in
But they're cracked
And the shards keep cutting you
Blind with pain
caused by your own carelessness
Blind because you won't wear the glass
Glasses we made
So what if the remind you of me
Did you learn nothing?

(648.) Topic: Stupidity 11/01/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
You're just stupid
Backwards
Stupid, you are not just
Look both ways before you cross the street
Don't just trust the word of the blindman
Somethings you just ca't hear
Only when you see both sides,
Look both ways,
Can you be safe
be smart
Don't just blindly cross the road

(649.) Topic: Class 11/01/06
=---------------------------------------------------=
I am in a class all my own
My father could be rich
but he's too stingy
my mother could be poor
if she didn't keep fighting to keep her head afloat
I am too poor to buy these nice things I own
But so rich in experience
I can achieve my goals
my clothes are second hand
from a first hand
My money is my own
worked for in days short and sweet
I live my life for art
for the culture
I am rich in this culture
But poor to you
So when I retire a millionare of taste
And you retire with more money than you know what to do with
Good luck spending it on something besides short spurts of happiness
I've got my dreams
I'll survive on them
And not spend a penny

(650.) The World Is Full Of Bodies 11/13/06 10:45 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
We are building up too many bodies.
And not digging enough graves
We are following in his teachings
But forgetting how he saves

I pray that you will love me
Even if the world seems it will end
I pray you won't forget me
When you find out it's all pretend

I'd have to say you're wrong
In believing the world is kind
But please continue in song
It seems to ease your mind

The world is full of so much pain in every sight
Won't you stay by my side, and help me wrong every right?


(651.) Looking In The Mirror 11/28/06 11:45 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
She was beautiful
Laced with expectations
She unraveled
The eidetic soul she saw
When she peered in her reflection
Made her feel hollow
A sculptured face
With perfect delineation
Was all too insulting
When her mind consumated
Her soul was barren
And no beauty could make up for that

(652.) Meditate 11/28/06 11:47 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Silence
Breathe in
Dissmiss the thoughts
You will see them later
Breathe out
You hear the noise
Breathe in
Ignore it
Spine straight
Breathe out
Rinse
Repeat
Now,
look at the world
with a clear mind

(653.) Start.......Finish 12/05/06 10:07 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Where do my rights end?
And yours begin?
Does your religion pick up,
right where mine left off?
For I have no religion,
and I suppose yours is now mine
For it is based off absolution,
no?
Fact is overcome by religion!
but does your religion overule my liberty?
I want to be free,
just as much as you.
You got to choose your religion,
now let me choose mine
you've had your turn

(654.) I Envision Endless Fields 12/10/06 11:22 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I yearn to walk alongside mountains
And traverse men's watery graves
Notepad in my palm
And loud speakers in my ears
Tellng me of long lost loves
Absolute truths
along with whatever else
makes the world turn
I'd eat mana scraped from the dew
Then write a few verses about how I miss you
I'll act out one man plays
For no audience
Letting my imagination run
Stopping to allow my brain to catch up
Then explore some more
Pretend I'm an aeroplane
Arms spread wide
Running through an endless field

but I'm sitting here
peering over logic's grave
Keyboard under my fingers
And loud speakers sitting in sight
Telling me of New York
and grasping at the unattainable
along with whatever else
tickles my fancy
Eating food barely passable
As itself
Writing out what I'd like to do
if I had someone to miss
Acting out a one-man play
With God as my audience
My brain is racing
And my imagination can't keep up
There's nothing new to see
Pretending I'm lonely
Heart open wide to welcome
And not having a hard time
filling the role

Once again, thank you. =D

(655.) Believing In God 12/14/06 11:06 P.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I never stopped believing in God you see
it was him who stopped believing in me

He'd always be there rooting from the stands
Clapping thunder such as hands

I would tell him of my day
He would always listen to every word I say

Then one day he stopped being there
And I looked everywhere

God was just gone
I didn't know how to go on

I'm still looking for his face
As I miss his warm embrace

Trully this is a place of God
Why would man live his life based on fraud?

Maybe he was just an imaginary friend
Only God will know in the end

(656.) You Lied To Me 12/18/06 1:00 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
You lied to me
As I rested there,
passing away
Gasping for breathes that just weren't there
I stared up at you
There was no sympathy in your eyes
And that hurt worse than dying

(657.) Reflectors 12/18/06 1:06 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
Each reflector on the road passed by quickly
In a never ending numbing pattern
Every one reminded me of another memory long past
So I drove a little faster

(658.) He Offered Me Two Drinks, I Accepted The First 12/18/06 1:09 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I sipped from a dark cup
It spilled over the sides with malice
Tasted such as hell
And it made me want more

(659.) I'm Tired 12/18/06 1:27 A.M.
=---------------------------------------------------=
I'm tired of waking up
And having the world come crashing down on me

I'm tired looking up
And having God spit in my eye

I'm tired of going up
And having my wings burned off

I'm tired of climbing up
And being kicked right back down

I'm tired of showing up
And having no one care

I'm tired of throwing up
And realizing there's nothing in my stomach

I'm tired of growing up
And realizing more about the world

I'm tired of sitting up
And feeling the weight of your guilt push against me

I'm tired of filling up
And knowing I'll never be full

I'm tired of sticking up
And being attacked from both sides

I'm tired of thinking up
And never having my ideas appreciated

I'm tired of putting up
And not seeing an end to the torment in sight

I'm tired of building up
And never reaching my goals

I'm tired of setting up
And having you knock it all down

I'm tired of waking up
And I'm going to bed.