The release of producer Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles big-screen reboot has already been announced for December 2013.

But while you might expect fans to be happy with the news there will soon be more Turtles films to watch, more Turtles toys to buy and more Turtles-branded fast food to scarf, it turns out the fans are actually furious.

(And yes, there really are still hardcore Turtles in the world.)

So why are the fans so hot and bothered in their half-shells? Because the Transformers director has announced that the Turtles will be aliens in the new film, not mutants.

Speaking at a Nickleodeon event at the Jazz at Lincoln Center in New York, Bay said: "When you see this movie, kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist, when we're done with this movie.

"These turtles are from an alien race, and they're going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable."


Michael Bay talks Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by stuffwelike

Aliens? Until now the Turtles were regular Earth turtles mutated into humanoids by green goo, which is what gave them their powers. For those who weren't nine years old in 1992, those powers basically comprise martial arts, the ability to make wisecracks and an obsession with pizza.

In any case, messing with one of the four words in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hasn't gone down well.

"I think Bay has long since abandoned his ability to feel shame," said Katey Rich at Cinema Blend.

But for some the disappointment was hardly a surprise. Stu Heritage at the Guardian wrote: "The last 20 years have ensured that expectations of any new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie couldn't possibly be any lower," he said.

"And yet, thanks to a combination of Bay, (director Jonathan) Liebesman and a deliberately misunderstood origins story, it looks like we might all end up being disappointed anyway."

The movie ('Ninja Turtles') will released on 25 December 2012.

[Ixzion] 2:23 pm: Rocksteady: WHATS UP NIGGAZ?!
[Ixzion] 2:23 pm: Bebop: THESE TURTLES ARE BITCH-ASS negroes
[Draygone] 2:24 pm: and there's a downside.
[Draygone] 2:25 pm: because the turtles are aliens, that means there won't be a variety of mutant villains.
[Draygone] 2:25 pm: although just watch, there will probably be an appearance by those triceratops aliens.
[Ixzion] 2:26 pm: And the Turtles used the SPLINTER computer system
[insultobot] 2:26 pm: DON"T WATCH THE FILM
[insultobot] 2:26 pm: don't even pirate it
[insultobot] 2:27 pm: it didn't happen
[Lantis] 2:27 pm: TAINT!
[Ixzion] 2:27 pm: If they do it, I want Bay to completely f*ck the series
[Ixzion] 2:27 pm: *movie
[insultobot] 2:27 pm: yes
[insultobot] 2:27 pm: It must tank
[Ixzion] 2:27 pm: Just go f*cking nuts
[Draygone] 2:27 pm: oh geez, you're right. If the turtles are aliens, then where does that leave Splinter?
[Ixzion] 2:28 pm: Make it so f*cked up it turns interesting
[Lantis] 2:28 pm: April O'Neil slutting it up with Casey AND the turtles.
[Lantis] 2:28 pm: Just throw here in there for the eye candy.
[insultobot] 2:29 pm: Casey should be a bounty hunter from space, but come across as Chains the bounty hunter from Gemberling
[Ixzion] 2:29 pm: IRMA AND APRIL HAVE LESBIAN SEX
[Draygone] 2:29 pm: Irma? Isn't that the nerd girl from the 80s cartoon?
[Ixzion] 2:29 pm: Yeah
[Ixzion] 2:30 pm: @Lantis said Casey Jones should be a bounty hunter from space
[Ixzion] 2:30 pm: LOL
[Lantis] 2:30 pm: Actually, I read that.
[Lantis] 2:30 pm: lol
[Lantis] 2:30 pm: ^ *points*
[Ixzion] 2:30 pm: If they went all out like that, I might have to reconsider watching it to see what a clusterfuck it'd be
[Lantis] 2:30 pm: And Shredder is a gasious entity.
[Lantis] 2:31 pm: That influences the wills of all the humans.
[insultobot] 2:31 pm: mother brain!
[Lantis] 2:31 pm: And the turtles not being from earth are imune.
[Ixzion] 2:31 pm: No that's krang
[insultobot] 2:31 pm: the sequel will have mother brain!
[insultobot] 2:31 pm: pfft I didn't like it when it got all weird anyway
[Ixzion] 2:32 pm: And all the turtle weapons will have shaky cams attached to their weapons
[insultobot] 2:32 pm: the nunchuks would be "wireless"
[Ixzion] 2:32 pm: HAHAHA
[Ixzion] 2:33 pm: What the f*ck would those even look like?
[Lantis] 2:33 pm: We should be getting paid for this.

Uwe Boll with a bigger budget, Michael KKK (I mean, Michael Bay), is at it again:



So, did Michael Bay develop Turtles in Time ReShelled, too?



SO IS EVERYONE EXCITED TO SEE TAINT THIS YEAR? I AM.

For the new movie, Bay plans on making Donatello (the purple one) a female. We assume that by shooting time he/she will be referred to as Donatella. This has got to be one of the most asinine decisions in the history of the director’s list of senseless choices.

Bay does state that “I know what I’m doing, people are acting like I have never made a movie before(have you, Michael? Have you?). Just because Donatello will be a female doesn’t mean the story will be any different, these are the same Turtles you grew up with. You won’t even notice Donatello being any different. She is still gonna be a computer geek, she is still gonna be all about science, and yes she will still use a bow staff. I mean think about it, a hot geeky turtle chick? “