24b. Mostly bad.

23. The laws of physics are more of a broad set of guidelines.

22. Complex equations always have to use Sigma, Pi, A few exponents of variables, and are impossible for the greatest minds in science to figure out cause some one forgot to carry the "2."

21. In space, anyone can hear you scream.

21b. Or can hear crashes, explosions, lasers, and other form of weaponry being fired.

20. Dead or alive, you're going with Robocop.

19. People on television will buy anything for a dollar.

I love robocop. My friends hrate it though.

18. If you are in a situation were people can die... and you are the only black person in said group. There is a 90% chance that you're the first to go.

17. Superman has some very conflicting super-abilities.

16. Girls know how to have fun.

15. Diaries always get discovered by the enemy.

14. There CAN BE ONLY ONE!

13. 13 means death and destruction.

12. 2012 means death and destruction.

11. Any badly damaged devise can be quickly repaired. Often in a matter of minutes.

10. Bon beat me with his 14.

10 for real. That machine you couldn't damage before can be destroyed with just two blasts once you take out the legs.

9. If you get turned into an animal, it will take a few moments to realize it, even though you'll likely have this big muzzle completely obstructing the lower half of your vision.

8. Most people fail to find the joy in being turned into an animal.

7. Christopher Walken can make most lame movies a bit more enjoyable.

6. Michael Cera plays the same character in every movie.

5. My right to party is alienable, and must be fought for.

4. Any female lead, given enough time, will become a romantic interest for the male lead. Even if she isn't particularly attractive.

4b No matter how big the proverbial "balls" on the female lead are, no matter if she just spent the better part of an hour cutting a bloody path of gore through enemy forces, when confronted with the romantic possibilities of the Male lead, she will revert to a timid submissive girl who would hide on a chair if a mouse happened by.

4c. It matters not how fugly the female lead is. All men will think she is hotter than a penthouse centerfold.

3. The hero could face the prospect of getting a limb hacked off by a dull, rusty chainsaw with stoic grit, but the mere sight of a hypodermic needle is enough to make him pass out cold.

You know, I have to say, Staffy brings up a pretty good point in the 4th rule. I can't believe I never really noticed that until now.


2. Any more than two women enjoying a round of drinks (or the same blunt in one particular case) spells trouble for any sexist/chauvinist man with any connection to their lives.

1. There can only be--- wait, you guys already did that one? Why couldn't you save it for this?!

The Real 1. Some people like to sing spontaneously. Those around them will not find this at all strange, and may even join in the chorus. I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the nii-iiiiight!

0. The game continues!

-1. Never open the package.

-2. When a dog barks or a cat meows or any animal makes a sound, it's all a language just as complex as human language, and is universally understood by all animals, but not by humans.

-3. Humans were placed here by aliens. The proof? There's humans on other planets, too.

-4. If you have managed to render the bad guy unconscious, likely through smashing a bottle/vase/random breakable object into his skull, they will not actually remain that way forever. So it might be a slightly better idea to just slit their throat now and save yourself some hassle instead of just running away and eventually killing them anyhow 30 minutes later.

I think my favorite was #26.

-5. Movies that win the Oscars are generally shown between early October and late December.