My god where does the time go!?

and last night is when I did your mom; your point?

(sorry I know I'm bad but that lame joke was just too good to pass up. )

It's interesting because one can think of it in terms of being closer to death as N.L.Y. is suggesting but I am moreso thinking of it as distance from youth. Personally whereas I do not want to die, I feel I have reached enough of my personal self spiritual goals that I could go at any time. My point however (to Staffy) is that so long as I do stay alive, it is kind of painful to look back to my youth and wonder where all the time went, all the opportunities unused, all the paths closed, all the times and places enjoyed gone forever. I was in high school in 1987 and it doesn't seem so long ago and yet it was 23 years ago. And the thing is I don't know if one can really appreciate that until you are older.

But even if one can appreciate this in theory, it is totally different than having gone through the experience. In other words even if someone convinced me personally back then about what I know now, I wouldn't back then have the experience to have given me the confidence, the perspective, the temperament, the value system, and the focus to able to do much different. That is where the 23 years went and that is good to know but then it is like going though a process of training where you finally realize at the end of it you could have been doing something else instead of going through the process of training. You could have simply been living.

But I guess that isn't how it works.

It would be important to note though that even if I was able to put my present perspective into my high school self with all the experience I have accumulated, I still couldn't possibly dent all that life has to offer so I still would feel that there is so much that I will never be able to experience (note I said "experience" not "accomplish"...big difference in my book). And this is how I look on it now. I have older friends. Close friends older than my parents and I have learned alot from then and I expect that I will feel this way about now when I am their age. So now I have in a sense the security and the freedom to really experience life and yet there really is no way that I can experience even a small part of what is potentially out there.

i think bo prefers to have things behind rather than before him.

but i do say i must agree. 1987 was a very good year. and 23 is a very good number of years to have behind you. in fact it is the perfect number of years to have behind you. i know this because i have recently experienced it and because i'm such a genius.