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PostPosted: April 2nd, 2010, 8:24 pm 
Rank 0: Magonian Apprentice
Lyricist
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Joined: March 3rd, 2010, 7:56 pm

Posts: 2

Location: Stockton, California
-Virus in This System-

-------------------------------------
I programmed this world to encase you
Upload your photo to deface you
Log you in a binary maze
And encrypt the available pathways
These pieces of code go deeper than knives
This virtual realm is hell in a drive

You do not exist you pixel b****

Create destroy that’s what I live for but
That’s why I must dispose of this cyber-what
She’s just a virus in this system
Of lies
She’s has these false memories
Of life

Installing a chrome stockade
With your arms locked in place
Unstable you may as well break like a stick
Nobody wants you Mrs. Synthetic
Your kind is made from files and hacks
A body and mind I know you lack

You do not exist you pixel b****

Create destroy that’s what I live for but
That’s why I must dispose of this cyber-what
She’s just a virus in this system
Of lies
She has these false memories
Of life

Her files crash one by one
She tries to keep from coming undone
In existence she can't stay
The truth unfolds as she fades away
-----------------------------------

Please tell me what you guys think.


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PostPosted: April 2nd, 2010, 9:20 pm 
Rank 9: Mischievous Thief Rank 9: Mischievous Thief
Call me Bon
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Joined: May 18th, 2005, 11:48 am

Posts: 4922

Location: Petersburg
Sounds nice. A good usage of imagery and tone. Keep up the good work, and welcome to the mag.

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http://www.twitter.com/MrPenrage


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PostPosted: April 2nd, 2010, 9:51 pm 
Rank 0: Magonian Apprentice
Lyricist
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Joined: March 3rd, 2010, 7:56 pm

Posts: 2

Location: Stockton, California
Thanks a lot.
Actually, I used to post on these forums before, under the name Doctor Necros.
Sadly, when I tried logging in one day, it said that my user name wasn't correct.
I searched under the member list, but it wasn't there.


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PostPosted: April 3rd, 2010, 12:38 am 
Site Admin Site Admin
Rainbow Crash
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  Level 89
 

Joined: May 4th, 2005, 7:57 pm

Posts: 10447

Location: VA, mofo
The reason it didn't work is because your name isn't "Doctor Necros".

You spelled it "Dr. Necros":
memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=328

The account is still here.

Welcome back.

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PostPosted: April 3rd, 2010, 1:30 am 
Rank 1: Untrained Thief Rank 1: Untrained Thief
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Joined: July 31st, 2006, 8:12 pm

Posts: 103
Thanks, dude.


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PostPosted: April 3rd, 2010, 2:00 pm 
Rank 6: Potent White Mage Rank 6: Potent White Mage
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Joined: February 12th, 2007, 6:10 pm

Posts: 2648

Location: near Washington D.C.
It's pretty good.

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"a proper designation of universal existence"


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