So... I'm engaged.

That ellipsis expresses doubt, me thinks.

That aside, Bon wishes you congratulations and best of luck with your soon-to-be-spouse in the future.

Oh, no. There's no doubt. Thanks.

No problem, Lanti.

Super congrats man! That's really awesome! Let us know when you guys set a date (so we can set a date for the bachelor's party!)

Best of luck, dood.

Really? Congrats!

Did she give you an ultimatum?

Nah, she patiently waited till I was ready. Besides, what kind of proposal would it be if it was forced? And even then, if she threatened to leave then she must not love me as much as she says... and she can get to stepping. Because I don't want to marry someone who isn't carrying enough or patient enough.

Kind of ironic... not too long ago you were the person who was all about being single and not getting involved in this kind of stuff.

"Ironic" is far too polite a word.

Yeah, this concerns me. But good luck.

I'm happy for anyone who is happy or who does what makes them happy, but I would be remiss if I didn't use this opportunity to advise against getting married. I don't think it is good for people, especially men. And I think far too many people do not realize that until it is too late.

At least you went through the thought of not needing a significant other for your happiness. I'm glad that you waited until you were ready to get married to get engaged. I just hope that you are ready to BE married...until death do you part.

People change minds. I don't see what the big deal is.

Now THAT is ironic. The fact that people change minds is exactly the big deal...married people are still people and people change minds.

Oh, I still believe that full-heartedly. Anyone can be happy single. The only reason I made such a big stand on it was because I honestly don't think anyone actually BELIEVES they can be single and happy. And that's not true. So yeah, I still think relationships are completely over-rated. But if one works out for you, all the more power. Just realize it's no a requirment in life.



Read the above. Also, I don't see you actually are aginst the idea of getting married. I can see a reason why a specific person shouldn't marry for whatever reason, but to just hate it because... er... bad for people?

Congrats, Lantis

I never said I 'hated' marriage (albeit I still might). What I am saying is akin to your response about when you were pro-single...namely that we all don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. You seemed to recognize that there is a lot of social pressure and reinforcement for single people to be in relationships and I agree. But also I believe that there is a lot of social pressure and reinforcement for people in relationships to get married and that is where I like you am trying to remind others that when you are happy and healthy in a relationship maybe there is something to be said for that instead of the idea that it is lacking or that there is a next step.

I have a lot of arguments against monogamy (namely because I am in a monogamous relationship of over 8 years) but I still support those who are monogamous if they are happy as I do those who are happy to be single. I myself, however, cannot think of a single good reason why anyone who is in a happy monogamous relationship should get married. In other words, they found their happiness. They are there. There is no next step.

But a lot of bad things can come from legally tying everything together unnecessarily and a lot of unrealistic and unreasonable expectations of the partner and of one's self can emerge when taking on the contract of marriage. I recognize that others have beliefs like religion, making the other happy, tradition, or thinking it is the only way to raise children and thus they get married. But for me, I bet the cons outweigh the pros for most people getting married let alone for most people after a few years of marriage.

If you think I am overly biased, a hater, jealous, or any other such thing then so be it. You need not listen to me and I genuinely wish the best of happiness. I just want to be that voice for those who maybe are not sure, who maybe feel pressured, or for those who may have expectations that they think cannot be let down by marriage. There are those of us who do not praise marriage just because it is marriage. So all I can do is support that you do whatever makes you happy, whatever that may be.

I don't think you are being unreasonable (or any other negetive emotion for that matter), if you don't want to get married, by all means. I prefer seeing people not feeling like they are forced to do anything they honestly don't think will help them out. Or, on the other side of the coin, beileve they have to have something they don't to be happy.

I am doing this for a multitude of reasons. She wants it. And I love her... and I want her to be happy. We share the same religion and would like our relationship to be centered around that religion. And it's something that I want as well. I'm not saying I NEED to, but I genuinely have a desire to. And I have trust/faith that even with having legal bonds towards each other, that it'll never come back to bite me in the ass, so to speak.

Congrats, Lantis, on this! I figured in the future this thread would suck without my input, even though I've mentioned my happiness for you. The only thing I would do is get married under another country's laws.

And continue to watch.

I wish you all the best.

I think you'll make a good husband.