Back to rappin'
I'm attackin'
Some new insipraction
So,
With kuckles crackn'
Gainin' som traction
Gonna start a faction
Volume up an' maxxin'

Slooow, slooow,
We'll speed up when we go
Slooow, Slooow,
You ain't no Rappa Ho'
Slooow, Slooow,
Lay back an' watch my show
Slooow, slooow,
Cause you ain't no Rappa Ho'

Back with the eruption
If you made the assuption
That I couldn't function
Your
blind as a bat, Son
Best be respect-on'
Here in this section
Cause my beats are a'flexxin'!

Slooow, Slooow,
We'll speed up when we go
Slooow, slooow,
You ain't no Rappa Ho'
Slooow, Slooow,
Got me more skills than ya' know
Slooow, Slooow,
But ya' ain't no Rappa Ho.

Slooow, Slooow,
Ani't no Rappa Ho'
Slooow, Slooow,
Wobble to a fro
Slooow, slooow,
More skills than ya know
Slooow, Slooow,
Ain't No Rappa Ho'

Wake up! Hey there!
Did I have you sacrred?
Learn french, and said, "Oh maird!"
Well,
Ya soulda' been prepared
For what I just aired
But you just were not spared
Yeah, an' see if I cared.

Slooow, Slooow
But ya' Ain't No rappa ho'
No, no.
Ain't no rappa ho'

I was quite prepared
You think you have potential to scare
Your spelling errors are your only terror
As if you really cared

I'll dump your shampoo and replace it with Nair
See you bald head to toe like an asian pear
I guess you ain't smarter than the average bear
Yogi, or are you just an Hoagie from Muskogee?

Homie, I think your intentions
But I'm the teacher, and I'm giving you detention
Think about your actions, your constant sinning
You think I'm all done, this is just the beginnin'

Cause my lyrics can get vicious
Like a weapon, any second
Have you beggin' for a shot
At this rare lesson

Everytime that you rhyme
It's a crime, sour lime
But I'll give you props
Because it's evident

You bumped up this topic that was flailing
Had me think my job as a mod was failing
I'mma give it back you, Staff Master
Hope your flow is vintage and not a disaster

Now let me dish on my sitch
At home I ain't rich
My folks are from Mich
Again, but they switched
Moved here to the land
of vacations and sand
Where life can get bland
But the view is just grand.

(chorus)
Way down east,
A lobster bake feast
Don't pique me in the least
Could'a bought, but I leased
A used dream, (it was creased)
But I still ain't deceased.

Life the way it should be
Or could be
But let's see...
'Fraid it's not for me
My wish ain't in your inventory
All I get is a story
and a sorry
That my life isn't starry
Guess that's just life by the shore, G'

(chorus)

Lived for 27 years
Bored with livin'; bored to tears
Dealt with douches, ho's, n' Queers
But I keep breathing, it appears
And despite my rampant fears
My life swerves; it skids, it veers
Toward a thing sharp as spears
It's the Unknown, and it nears...

(chorus)

And you'll know, I'll keep livin'
Might not seem like a given
But by this I am driven;
To see tomorrow's sun risen
I don't care if I fit in
As long as I'm gettin'
to see that one vision
I'll know I ain't trippin.

Hook:

I'm back on the attack
No need to grab a snack
I caught a virus but Bon is gonna fight back
So don't worry if my flow is whack
It's a rarity to see like Chrssy's rack

Verse 1

Look, Rap Battle Justice is the crack, man
You'll never get enough; it's purely action
You may have helped me coin it, but who's the inspirator
We both used to be hated like the dictators

I ain't got a ring on my finger yet
I'm just taking my time on the loving set
Bet, I'm a aura that you can't beget
Leave it at a verse before the hook comes, Staffy-pet

Hook:

I'm back on the attack
No need to grab a snack
I caught a virus but Bon is gonna fight back
So don't worry if my flow is whack
It's a rarity to see like Chrssy's rack

I just have to pause this and laugh.... Did you really just use Chrssy's rack as a lyric? Twice.

It was the hook, also known as the chorus, Kajak. You didn't see that?

"Economy"

I guess I just rap about what I can see
Who I should be
But rhyming "e" is lazy

I'm not gonna bow down to the vice
To the spot with vermin and lice
But you see, the "c" is nice

Grab a drink and I throw
A riotous show
This first "o's" a ho.

See, I'm on a mission
Make ya' split jus' like fission
Busting out "n" so listen

Enjoy as you see my flow grow
Uh-oh! Used two "o's"; oh no!
Last "o" is done, so go

I'm neat, rolled up and got hems
Rap with a plan like the Dem's
So "m's"? I'm done with thems

I'll take you up high
High as the sky
Cause I'm a man- X"Y"

Economy.

You see my Bon Bon
my Nugg is all gone
So lament is my song
And while it's quite wrong
(like chicks with a dong)
It was my inspiration
It was Cheech to my Chong
It helped when I puffed on

:hook:
Marijuana bliss
Light it up, inhale like this
The toke is my firey kiss
(Oh) Marijuana bliss
hook it up, from a bowl or spliff
Grass, weed, or bud; it makes no diff

So now that I'm out
I'm sour like kraut
Hafta' give my dealer a shout
So I'll no longer pout
Gotta plan out my route
So that then I can tout
"I can continue this bout"
And not stink like a trout

:hook:

You know that I'm keen
To be the best on the scene
So rather than preen
or do things obscene
A lil' smoke will keep clean
My rhytim machine
I'll be the best that you've seen
If I just get some green

:hook:

Ha ha, you think I'm joking
But realy, I'm toking
Not "legaly smoking."
Yeah, I know you're invoking
Some "winners don't smoke" thing
Tellin' a tale jus' like Tolkien.
Well, I'll blow a smoke ring
and prove I'm the show king

:hook x 3:
Yeah, yeah... I'm puffin'
Take you're morals and stuff'em! (haha!)
(Hook repeat; fade out)

"I'm White, so I'll Ask You Why ("White Guys Can't Rap")"

...Beat on.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
(break it like this: )

So, I been hearin'
That you ain't fearin'
My flow's apearance
Discounting it like it's on clearance
And it's makin' me blue.

See, I work hard on my lines
Makin' sure that they rhyme
Keepin' the beats in time
But still, what do I find?
Nothin' pleases you.

All you do is sit there and
Pick it apart; rippin' an tearin'
Not a line that you're sparein'
then saying I'm a square and
that I should be through.

"White guys don't rap", you say,
"White guys got no soul to play,
Rip it up, lay it down, be an' M.C. or D.J."
"White guys can't rap", you imply
"Got no rhythm, so why even try?"
Well hey I'm white, so I'll ask you "Why?"

I don't think that
My flow is "lazy" or "flat",
Not quite "hip" or "where it's at"
But still, I'm finding you've spat
Whenever I lay it down

And I can't seem to find
That one magical rhyme
Or a flow so sublime
That it makes you all mind
And not kick me around

It might seem formulaic
That I "tock, tock, tick tick"
But hey, I mix it up a bit
And I experiment, that's the trick
But to you I'm a clown.

"White guys don't rap", you say,
"White guys got no soul to play,
Rip it up, lay it down, be an' M.C. or D.J."
"White guys can't rap", you imply
"Got no rhythm, so why even try?"
Well hey, I'm white, so I'll ask you "Why?"

Well, I hope that this beat has
Dropped fresh, like a fetus
But it's still not complete as
It could be, so at least but not last
I'll drop down some more

All I'm getting is static
And it's so problematic
You can't enjoy, you just pick
God, you're so damn pragmatic
Bro, it's makin' me sore

I'm in this for fun
Not some profession
So that's my confession
And yeah, I'm kinda testin'
But just to explore.

(so why you gotta be sayin')

"White guys don't rap", today,
"White guys got no soul to play,
Rip it up, lay it down, be an' M.C. or D.J.?"
"White guys can't rap", you imply
"Got no rhythm, so why even try?"
Well hey, I'm white, so I'll ask you "Why?"

Bon the Sandwich

Listen

I'm a double quarter pounda' with cheese
It's Bon on the mic, and I flow with ease
My flow ain't choppy; my demeanor is bossy
Don't pick up a mic 'cause you cannot cross me

My cheese is stacked taller than Danny Devito
If you battle me, I will crush you like Doritos
Smash your Gran Torino while you say "Holy Toledo"
While wearing a silly speedo at your local Home Depot!

I'm a sandwich, but you can't eat me
On this microphone you can't beat me
You won't defeat the Lion, so stop trying
And quit cryin', it's me you are defying so

I'm a sandwich, worth every penny
Dating a girl named Jenny, trouncing any
Girl that I ever dated, felt on, or kissed
Bonanza on the mic, and you just got dissed!

Hold on, Bon, it's rap's filet mignon,
on the microphone, Mr. Ixzion
who will facepalm Mr. Won,
into his own Moo Goo Gai Pan.

Pondering the mission I was given,
fighting every day for a better livin'
but every night I'm called the villain,
and get all bothered when I'm chillin'

f*ck a flight plan, this is a fight plan,
I'll set a flight plan for Afghanistan,
with a gat in each hand, blam,
Win the war in Iraq and Iran.

Cluck cluck
Chickens are alive
And they went for a drive
To see "The Hills Have Eyes"

Could you believe there was a sequel
The gross wasn't equal
But was seen by some idiot people

This is gibberish extreme
Join the Nanza team
'Cause it seems the color green is for feinds

I'm big blue
Bonanza, True
I won't lose to a snooze gushing down cheap ass booze.

Trollin' for a challenge, I see
So far, the only challenger is me
Back and forth; we're on a spree
We're layin beats and flow that's free

The great Bon Bone,
Sittin' on his throne
Thinks he's the master, and up there all alone
Throwing down, but isn't thrown,
That he drops em' like a stone
But I'm his foil; so shall it be known
I'll declare what the record's shown

I'll grant you, this battle is yours
It's started, but here's the scores;
Mister "Lion," you carnivore
I hate to tell it, cause it's a chore

Bonanza my friend,
I'll come back with out end
I'll throw down too, and to your flow attend
But in the hours I'll spend
It's a wish that I want to send;
"I hope you'll find the trend."

Flowing in and out
Rhyming all about
You claim, you yell, you tout
You're the best, and I'm a lout
Well giddy up, hop in the saddle
(and sorry, I have to say this)
Yeah, you brought the Battle,
But I brought the Justice.

Staffy, why?
Have you not done more Mag-pie
I won't ask more, 'cause it's your thing
I'll just stick to my hobbys, rap and sing
I've written a few new ones, baby
Sallie Mae, loan sharks who drive me crazy
My Life Part 2, another reflection
About my drama on the internet...son
I'll keep it brief, I'm kinda tired
My rap tenure is far from expired.

This is not a freestyle, but rather the first part of "My Life, Part Two"

Hook

It’s been two years since I decided then
I’m going my own way
To take control of my space
(Baby)

I’ll admit I ain’t a perfect man
I’m learning every day
From mistakes that I’ve made

Verse One

Just being real, I don’t need a detective
To discover that I’m passive aggressive
It’s often obsessive
And then my big brother’s confessin’
I should find a less taxing elective

‘Cause most of my stress comes from the internet
Damn, it gets my temper wet
Never let an asshole slam you with a wall of text
No repercussions ‘cause they’re living in another state
So, I could either ignore it or let it escalate

It’s sad I choose the latter; it has a grave effect
I lose some friends and a little bit of self-respect
And then I’m stuck with a memory that I can’t forget
The inner peace is wrecked; no need to double-check

Although I’m happy to tell you I took the first step
I have to find a solution, and then ensure that the oath’s kept
This trial isn’t hopeless
I have to clear my mind so it’s easy to focus
I know this

I can't believe the work I put in today
Customers complained of cherries
Sorry, but we've run out.

How about a rain check?
Sure, for 99 cents a pound, right?

No, the original sale price of 1.99 a pound, but
You will get a rain check, nonetheless.

No, we want the cheaper price!
Well...suck it up, assclown. This is the only deal we're giving you.

Here I am at the mag yet again
As the rain outside pellets the tin
Wondering why am I the only one here
Aren't other people around, my rap to fear

No worries though I'm fine and dandy
As I surf the web and chew my candy
I'll be back later on to check you out
You'd better be back too to show your clout