“Sleep is like the unicorn - it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see anyâ€

lies.

Well as usual, I wander into the nighttime and there is no one there.

For you see, they are all Ionian and not Aeolian like me. Even those who are Dorian seem to like the sunlight to show off their efforts.

The best thing about the city is that the streets and the skyline are all to yourself after dark.

So I sit here alone, with no one to share the beauty of the ...

Why do I bother. You can read this tomorrow when I have vanished.

I am not buzzin.
I am not kiddin.
But I'll be back again some night when there is no one to talk to with nothing to talk about. As usual.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq5AMhinBO4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRNIxcXp ... re=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JrYYbAR ... re=related
Brasilian opening and ending credits of the last season of DBZ, plus Brasilian opening of Yu Yu Hakusho.

I liked it better when there was no difference between Japanese and western cartoons.
English is a fundamentally flawed language because it doesn't have a substantive for the verb to miss, as in I miss a time when TV companies bought anime because it was cheap and not because the stupid fat kids who droll at Naruto's b*tching will pay for it.

Sorry for tainting your topic with that.

These songs bring back fond memories.
Which are very different from nostalgia.

In the same way that happiness and lightness of spirit are not the same; I'm not feeling happy at all now, but unusually floaty.
It's like peace, only without all the petrol.

Some songs have this power. When you have a child, sing good songs to him when he's young. And I do not mean that old rumor that playing classical music to a child will increase his intelligence.
What I mean is, sing good songs to him, and songs that you remember form your childhood. This way, your kid's fond memories will be triggered by good songs.

And if you weren't planning on having a child, change your plans now and go have it.

So it's 9 PM and I'm not insomniac. I'm sorry. I'm just in a rambling mood. I get in those often enough, but not usually through peace of mind. Usually through disappointments and bad experiences.
This whole good rambling feeling is new to me.

"Was it worth it? Everything is worth it
When the soul is not small."

It's cooler in Portuguese. It rhymes then.
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fernando_Pessoa">Fernando Pessoa.</a>
Also, one of the best poets of the 20th century. Not kidding.
His word brings me to tears. Almost. It comes close. I admit it.

It's beautiful.

After much thought, I realized that everything is pointless and there is no sense to anything and everything is pathetic. I thought then that I had to do the things that were the less pathetic possible.

After some more thought I saw how depressing that was and started creating life philosophies, guidelines that would rule or guide my behaviour.
Then I realized I was doing it the other way around, I was creating philosophies that justified my own actions.

After seeing how artificial that was, I stopped.

And then I was back with nothing making any sense and there being to reason to anything and every life philosophy and Weltanschauung is in some sense pathetic.

And now I realize that if everything has a valour of zero, I'm free to choose my own Weltanshauung without any limitations. I can pick whichever I want to.
And my peace of mind comes from having this freedom. The purest and most important of all freedoms. It's stopping to try finding the better way, and instead picking the most sympathetic of all the ways that look almost exactly the same.

Again, sorry, it's 9 PM and I'm not insomniac, but I felt like rambling.

Well when one blots out the windows it's difficult to tell whether it is night or day, and those things cease to matter. Same thing when you're training users on a system you helped test and to some extent develop on the graveyard shift. I used to come up with tons of wild theories, and sometimes profound, and not so profound realizations late at night. Lately it's been pretty empty of those. The night is much more relaxing, I long for a day when I am able to have my own yard where I can lay and gaze at the stars and the moon without the interference of artificial light.

That is all, this being the 5th night in a row I've been up past 6:00 (and also slept in till 3PM). Though last night I was up until 11:30 AM (with maybe an hours rests on the flight home) and got up today at around 5:30PM. 1984 was an interesting book, also dealing with the subject of night and day, with the night being a more important part of the day in the book. Nothing exists except that which the Party says exists. In the end we all end up agreeing 2 and 2 is 5, Oceania was always at war with Eurasia, and end up in love with Big Brother.

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

"Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past."

OK, so I'm listening to Boston's "Don't Look Back" and every time I get to the point where they sing "I finally see the dawn arriving" it is accompanied by this awesome old fashion classic rock minor or modal guitar harmony." It reminds me of when I visited my brother and my friends in the heartland as I presently live on the east coast.

Lately marriage, family, and tradition have been on my mind a lot.

As I hear these chords, I imagine how trapped the mid-western married man must imagine himself to be.

See that isn't a life that I could ever really be happy in because I would always know that I wasn't free.

So while I may someday be married with children living in the suburbs, I won't be happy.

And that's that.

It's pretty fu--- clear if you latch on to a significant other you WILL be unhappy.

To traditional unhappiness!

SERIOUSLY DON'T DO IT.

Did you miss out on the night tonight? I didn't.

I listened to the music and I focused on the moonlight.

You should try it sometime.

Willpower. Courage. Perseverance.

It's not about moving forward because you have hope, it's about moving forward when there is no hope.

Willpower is Vanderlei Cordeiro de Lima, who was leading the Olympic Marathon, the most iconic and revered sports event on the planet, 2 hours in and 40 seconds ahead of second place.
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He arrived at third place.
On the podium, he was the most colorful and the happiest of the three. He was crying.





Willpower is this beautiful scene.
Beautiful, I say.
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OK, so I'm typing this a little after the fact, but I want to briefly tell you what I did last Saturday.

I started off at a bar around 2PM near Foggy Bottom for a bi-monthly philosophy discussion. I stayed there as usual a few hours after it ended to continue talking with those who stuck around. My friend showed up around 9PM and at 10PM, he and I and one of my friends from the discussion group walked down M street to a club in Georgetown. The club was $10 for guys and free for girls. Mixed drinks were $8 (!) for an average size drink with average or below average alcohol. They also had a table service where you could buy big bottles of alchohol for hundreds of dollars. The music was good at first: House, Dance, but then switched to Hip Hop which I just about hate for dance clubs. By this time the place got packed with people trying to be seen. When we left there was a huge line (we didn't have to wait in line when we got there). It was exactly the type of club that give clubs a good name (to the pretensious-the VIP wannabes) and a bad name (to those who care about clubbing-the ones who actually go there for the dance floor first, even before the women or the drinks).

My friend and I walked my friend to her car quite a few blocks up Wisconsin Ave and then walked all the way back to this bar where the philosophy discussion was earlier for a last call beer (a little after 2AM). We debated whether or not to hop one of the last Metros for the night but decided to walk to Dupont Circle to go to another good club that plays good old school House and stays open until 5AM. Our plan was to get breakfast afterwards and head back home when the Metro started up again in the morning. When we got there we saw a city ordinance sign in the door that said the bar was closed due to a loss of a liquor license. By this time every other bar was closing and the only place open (a pizza place I think) had a huge line. We decided to walk toward a Goth bar at Farragut North and it too was closed since about 2AM. We could of paid $10 to hang at one bar for 40 minutes but decided against it for a couple reasons. We ended up at on a park bench all the way at McPherson Square at 4AM with absolutely no where to go and the Metro closed for the next 3 hours! We took a cab past the the beautiful Washington Monument and Jefferson Memorial back to my apartment in Virginia, went on my deck with a view of the Lincoln Memorial in the distance, he had gatorade and I had popsicles, and we discussed how it was ashamed that everyone was so eager to miss out on the night.

Seeking to know you, I drew you through my ribs in forensic whispers of motion, and knew in my lungs a sensation of burning.

In short, the angry black man screams Jesus, the stripper takes her time off wearin fuzzy bunny slippers.

In long, refer to the dictionary.

Man, I have no idea what you are talking about. By the way, I'm buzzin.

I think I'm pretty much done with philosophy.

Well, that took you long enough.

Women.

I think on it, moon like a torqued coat-hanger, a fornication of wind in the gutter. I think on red shoes, crabwalking spider-leaf and the autumnal quickchange: memento mori, but girl - go ahead put your red dress on. I sleep like skipped stones, I dream like the dead: the lead-pipe morning fog pins me down, collects its wage, and far away a coyote sings the blues.
I do not sleep at all.

Yeah, it's morning, but I haven't slept.

A religious debate with Gore Vidal.

I mostly posted this for Bo.

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@N.L.Y.

Thanks, that was pretty good.

I'm having trouble to sleep lately.
Totally out of my comfort zone in every aspect of everything.

It's the best thing ever, though.

Well said. Being out of your comfort zone brings a lot of new and useful characters, events, and decorative objects. Just don't leave the uncomfortable zone too far into the dangerous zone. There are too many random battles with powerful enemies there.