Brenda,

The thing that I said about the hiccups was not particulary what I wanted to say. I would also like to justify my reasoning for acting the way I did on Wednesday. When you were touching me, I had assumed in my head that you were flirting with me, and I was thinking that, one way or another, I would develop the interest in kissing you, prompting you to request yet another 20 dollars from me.

Hence, I really wasn't in the mood for the touching, and simply wanted my space. The money-for-kisses thing is what's been eating me up ever since I spent time with you in Midloathian. I'm asking myself why was it even necessary to do this if nothing else will materialize from it? I'm wondering why I was so naive as to make that agreement to you back in December. Maybe it was the curse of my over-optimism replacing logic. If you believed that you have been used in the short time we've spent talking, throw it away, because I do not feel I have done so. I have tried to be the best friend that I could be, and even more, I have even tried to compensate for the lonliness you've felt for so many months.

I think I said this earlier when we first talked this semester, but I felt very offended when you had said that I didn't want to be your friend (phone conversation, New Year's Day), and I was literally the only person seeing you during Winter Break (when everyone else stood you up). Additionally, I really wished you would have submitted, as I felt I have done every time I've gone and visited you at your home, and let me see Dreamgirls at the Commonwealth 20. Do not take this in the wrong way, but you have taught me how to be more a more assertive individual rather than being passive. I wouldn't have minded going to Skate Nation, but I didn't want to go at that time. Additonally, I had worked 35 hours in the past 3 days with minimal sleep, so I thought you could have been more considerate of the fact that I needed to recouperate from work.

I don't want to drag this message any further, but I'm letting you know how I feel at this point. I still accept that fact that we can't be any more than friends, but I feel used knowing that I had to give you money for physical affection, something I would have merely gone to a stip club for. You can do whatever you want to this email: delete it, save it, burn it, whatever.

You an I can't continue to say "Dropping it" everytime we hit a brick wall. It's time to start acting like brave human beings and not fearful ones.

Have a good semester,
Brandon

If one can get kisses for free then why pay and if one cannot get kisses for free then what is wrong with paying?

It's called selling yourself out and playing into their hands.

WTF? It's called selling yourself out and playing into their hands.

I would never cut myself so low as to pay for something I could get from someone who actually cares for free. I don't know what world you live in, but being used as pawn in some biznatch's game is hardly worth it.

Why do you have so much emotion invested in it?

because that's exactly it.. in this situation his heart IS involved. that's the point. it's a specific situation in Bonanza's everyday life. not a debate on the ethics of prostitution. if you want that you can make a new thread under the proper prerequisites in the proper forum.

What Bo's saying is that she's a prostitute and Bonanza paid the price.