It's kind of odd that I find myself writing constantly. Don't get me wrong, I love to write. It's my dream, my main goal, to become a published author. To have others read my work and be amused, emotional, inspired.

The odd thing is, I suppose, how frequently I write, and how little it matters. The majority of my work is, just that, work. I write articles, alterations, aggressive notes on a asinine system. All of it, though it has its point, feels meaningless to me.

So from time to time, I pause what I'm doing to take a moment and express my thoughts. Most of the time it's just an analyzes of the world around me. But on that very rare occasion, I express a piece of myself. A tiny shard of my soul. I sincerely doubt this will be one of those moments.

In fact I'm sure this will be nothing more than the chance for me to write something that isn't expressly for work. Which in all honestly, means I don't really know what to write, just that I should write while I have the opportunity.

I sense this is slightly full of fail. You know, this is what separates those that succeed from those that fail. I could, at the very moment, be writing a small piece of a novel. Thoughts or bits of dialogue. A scene perhaps.

Instead I'm spending my limited time writing this. Does this make me feel better? No. Does it move me more towards my goal? Not really.

So why haven't I stopped writing this and started working on something real? I could give a whole host of reasons, but none of them are actually good enough for anything.

In the end, it's really because this is the first thing that's flowing through my head, that I don't want to shoot out of it. And so I write it. In the hope that it will draw more such thoughts. Eventually perhaps I'll draw the will power and inspiration I need to jot down my story ideas.

Until then. I'll simply write. Every feel that feeling? I feel it all the time.

Writing what comes to mind: so very easy and definately feels good.

Like someone once said about some chronist (a guy who has a daily/weekly column on the newspaper or somewhere else to write short texts about the everyday in an usually funny way): "Whenever X doesn't know what to write about, that's when we get the best texts out of him."

There are approximately 37 thousand different situations running through my mind right now. And for possibly the first time in my life, I'm incredibly thankful of my ability to set them all aside, and right about completely nothing.

I turn 22 in less than a month, and few, if any, of the goals I set myself years ago are completed. But honestly, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it probably should. All i really care about is that I have a loving family, wonderful friends, and the most beautiful daughter on the face of the earth.

And that there are a handful of people, that at the end of the day.....honestly, and truly, believe in me. They're just waiting for me to move. Waiting for me to take that first step. And they don't hide it. They've voiced their belief to me, openly and with a blinding faith.

No I'm not the secret leader of some cult.... I'm just a man... completely sure that I can change the world...in a good way...maybe not a big way....but for the better none-the-less. I thank god for the people that believe in me. The ones that are there, day after day, reminding me that I can't give up.

If any of this sounds vague, I have to apologize. I can't really explain myself....it's just something you have to know....to understand. Heh. For once...I actually feel better writing like this. I love my life.... And I love the people in it. Even those that hurt me most. Because it's what makes me me. What makes me a better person than I used to be.

People lie when they say it's the road, and not the destination that matters. Than again people are ignorant if they say it's the destinations that matters solely. It's both my friends. It's the means, and the end. I have them both within reach. NSNS.

You are on the right path. These are the most important things in life. Plus if you are only focused on the destination you will miss the best parts of life.