http://spoonyexperiment.com/rants/HouseOfTheDead/

... I put this one in the video game section of the forums since this movie not only is made after what was originally a video game, but, for those of you have had the grave misfortune to stumble across House of the Dead as a movie already should know, the movie itself is half-made up of footage from the game (a colossally stupid film element that I am grateful does not appear to have become commonplace), so it only seems appropriate.

Now, I do realize that this is a rather long read, but believe me, even amongst all of the dry heaves you will surely be getting upon memories of having seen this dead aardvark of a film coming back to haunt you, you will hopefully laugh well (and probably cry) at the stunning truthfulness of the several hundred ways in which House of the Dead was wrong, as presented by The Spoony One, who never fails to heroically sacrifice his own sanity and already-limited number of brain cells in order to save the common American movie-going public from the terror of bad films by watching them for us and so forth be able to give forewarning.

... Fasten your seatbelts, everyone. Although this is not anywhere near same as actually watching House of the Dead, reading this particular review provides pretty darn good simulation, ... and it isn't pretty.

The Spoony One FTW... seriously, that guy is funny.

I saw the movie. He's right on so many levels.

Uwe (I pronounce it like "Eww") Boll sucks.