(Sorry, Mag ladies. I have to get this one off of my chest.)

Is there anyone in video games that is so utterly offensive to your sensibilities, by the way they dress, by the atrociously dorky fashion in which they hit on girls, with every mind-numbingly stupid line they speak, that even just the mere sight of them on screen makes you fly into a rage in which you clutch your controller until your palms bleed and you unleash a torrent of angry obscenities at their big stupid face on the other side of the television screen?


I've got one, and with good freaking reason.



Zidane from Final Fantasy IX.

f*ck THIS GUY.


Oh, I've got more reasons than just that smug, monkeyish, grinning-pedophile-clown face, and those awful gay stripper threads he's sporting.

He has no subtlety or tact whatsoever when hitting on girls, he had the audacity to coin the phrase "You're just jealous that I'm off to get me a sweetie-pie", his show of virtue is just a selfish excuse to impress people and draw attention to himself, he clearly thinks of himself as some irresistible and witty stud (and the sad thing is that he actually does have a few girls lining up for him, because for all of their likability, Tifa, Dagger, and Yuna have terrible taste in guys), and 90% of the BS that spews from his mouth is a definitive "Please pay attention TO ME! I'm awesome!"


This smug bastard is so insufferable that I wish I could hop into the FF universe just long enough to kick a blitzball at Mach 2 right into his f*cking face and watch as his huge donkey teeth swing loose and fall out. I hate this motherf*cker!

(Now before any Zidane fan here jumps on me, I'll give credit where it is due. There is at least one particular instance in which I think Zidane was genuinely being a good guy and not just trying to act cool, by helping his clone/twin sister/monkey-tailed counterpart Makoto try to find meaning in her life now that Terra and Garland are gone. And, his attempt to woo Dagger in the ending was pretty slick. I still say it was Freya's idea in the first place, though. She owns him.)


... Anyone like that for you guys?

I liked Zidane.>_> Probably mainly because he taught Vivi how to chill, and the whole "Ooh, soft!" thing which was a total me moment. I know he isn't a lady, but the costume style of FFIX kinda lends itself to what can only be described as skin-tight. Which a lot of straight women are into! But I digress.

I would have to say Vaan from FFXII. I didn't play that far, but he just irks me. The whole game irks me. It feels like everyone is blonde and bishounen(even the women), and I cannot tolerate that game. I think that was when I truly fell out of the FF series. FFXIII didn't really win me back... especially not with the whiny little butt known as Hope. YOU KILLED MY MOM SNOW BLAH BLAH BLAH. I HATE YOU DAD! Just such a whiny little butt. And while Lightning gets some semblance of character development, Hope considers this betrayal and continues to whine in his more than likely Kingdom Hearts-inspired threads. Hope can go jump off of a cliff.

I know this ended up being FF based, but I just can't say enough how done I am with 11-13. I'm trying to be optimistic about 15, but I just don't know anymore. All I want are characters that aren't all photoshopped magazine models with the same hair colors. And inns. AND TOWNS. AND AN OVERWORLD.

I heard they were bringing back an overworld for XV, but ... upon seeing the footage that I did, I couldn't recognize a thing from the Final Fantasy series. I think you are right to "not know anymore". And I'll concede that you hate Vaan but like Zidane for at least one reason: Zidane, while insufferably annoying to me, and a phony paragon of selflessness, was at least interesting, which was an attribute Final Fantasy main characters have tended to be missing since VII (I'm looking at Cloud, Squall, and Vaan).

Vanille (FFXIII)
All of the children in Little Lamplight in Fallout 3

Any character in FFXIII really. But yeah, Vanille is teeth grindingly bad. And I'll take Zidane ANY day over Emil from Tales of Symphonia 2. Worst. Character. Ever.

I'm surprised no one claimed Welch yet.

The video game character I can't stand is seen in several games and in several franchises even. It's the random twelve year old in multiplayer matchmaking.

Oh, yeah, definitely. Screw Welch, at least the Star Ocean 4 version.

I'd say she'd be on my top ten list.


And Emil, as Lantis mentioned, who runs like a pansy from monsters that the story itself says children hunt for fun. What. a. <expletive>. And again, like with Zidane and other douchebags like him, Emil has a few girls lining up for him. It's a terriying thought.

Medusa Heads from any Castlevania game.

I liked Zidane for not being the white knight piece of sh*t that fantasy heroes often are, or the whiny loser that FF heroes often are.

I'm fairly sure SK doesn't know what white knighting is or that it's as insulting as it is...

I never truly disliked a character. At least not to the point of full hatred.

Until I played Tales of Simphonia 2 and met Emil Castagnier. Never has a game gone so terribly wrong when choosing a main character. Ugh.

Uhhh, I thought that's what a white knight is, the kind of guy who's always pretending to be chivalrous just to impress women and get in their pants under the pretense of being a suave gentleman. Doesn't that pretty much describe Zidane?

.... Oh, wait. I forgot. You're the same guy who thinks FFXIII is good and SNES RPG's generally had atrocious gameplay. That explains it.

You're wrong. You're describing an alternate definition of the term that applies to people on the internet/gamers/real people in general, while I was using one that refers to video game characters.



It is, just like how CC is good if you don't judge it based on what CT was. People judge FF13 based on previous FF games, which is something they don't do when comparing, say, FF7 to other FFs. It's a bias that people have against FF13 almost exclusively.



I never said that. Here's the original quote:



Come at me bro.

I don't enjoy dealing with bullsh*t like that and you know it. Why try?

If your main defense of your distaste for Zidane (which, by the way, I was never attacking) is to directly try to bring down my credibility, you've already lost. You're no better than any other mindless internet troll at that point. Piss off with that crap; we're supposed to be better than that.

Nash from Lunar Silver Star Story Complete [acts like a complete no-it-all]
Hope from FF 13 [whiny b*tch]

Ramius from Lunar Silver Star Story Complete [temporary character and wimpy]
Queen Bean boss from Mario and Luigi RPG [50 turns of 1 hp hits? No thanks]

Tingle.

Moneybags from the Spyro games. What a true fiend. No wonder he's so rich, Spyro hands him all of the gems he collected.

Oh, and zingers from the DKC games.

That, ... and the hair, ... and the chicken-colored robes, ... and the nonsensical reasoning for his betrayal ....