Fin.

Stythe · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 6:33 am

You know, at this point, I f*cking hate you all.

Every single one of you.

I hate everything you say to me. I hate everything I say to you. I hate every moment someone thinks of me, and every moment thinking of someone else hinders me.

I hate seeing you all. I hate being with you all. I hate having your words weigh on my mind.

I hate your personalities. I hate my own. I hate you as a person, and I hate myself.

I hate life, in all its pathetic monotonous glory. I hate the way the world forces us all to live.

I hate the fact that I need you all. I hate the fact that one person could change everything, but won't.

I hate. Yes I do. I hate that I'm a self centered, self conscious, selfish asshole. I hate that I'm never good enough.

I hate that everyone always f*cks me over. I hate that I can't trust anyone new for that reason. I hate that I even tried, because now when I should be dead, I'm here talking about how I hate what I did instead.

Was it worth it? Who the f*ck cares. I hate it, I decide that, I decide what is and isn't when it comes to my life. You know what I decided?

f*ck you.
I'm going to die.
And there's nothing any of you can do about it.

f*ck you, f*ck me, f*ck life, and f*ck every attempt at putting this in a nicer way that I ever made. I'm an angry person, and my old way of saying things well and nicely done is long gone.

Good bye.

Agentsix · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 7:39 am

Regal · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 8:03 am

... if you're serious about this, well, it doesn't leave me with a whole lot to say. asking why or whether i can do anything to help, etc seems pointless. one thing though.

i take it you don't believe in anything much. well, you know what death is? death turns the lights off forever. there is nothing there for you. what makes that a good place to be?

you talked about how no-one can be bothered to change the world. well, what kind of answer would putting a knife to yourself be? you talked about the people you hate. i don't think you hate everyone. do you care so little that you would hurt them this way?

death is not release, its destruction. put it off, it'll happen in the end anyway.

but hey, maybe you don't mean this. maybe you came home pissed off your face. maybe you've got a sick sense of humour. i kinda hope so.

sorry if this is badly worded, i just woke up :s

Ixzion · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 9:36 am

I doubt that you hate that us that much, but I do see that you have a lot of hatred.

Speaking about being f*cked over, I have been f*cked over many times by women and after I discovered how they worked, I was extremely (disgusted and) angry for a long time.

For a while in the beginning, I wanted to do something destructive to get back at them. But then I realized that I could use my frusteration and anger to better myself. To beat your opponents by making yourself better is one of the best things you can do in your life. Don't give them the satisfaction and do their job for them.

Now I'm eating better, working out more, learning more things about money, and studying my own opponents. I am getting better because of what they did! Instead of falling down, I'm rising up! You can do the same to yours!

Same thing goes for the Mag. Did you expect way back then that we'd become a titan of the community? Remember when I said that I was going to beat the Pav (back when the staff was a bunch of assholes)? Now look at us! This is all because I kept fighting, and YOU helped me fight, too!

Be a Man Going Your Own Way. I am one. I love and live my life for me alone, and damn what some hater wants to say about it.

I will not beg, but I hope you reconsider things before doing something drastic.

Chrssy · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 10:18 am

well...i know theres no point into tryin to talk u out of whatever ur thinking. once uve made up ur mind about something u usually stick with it.

but even if this is a joke or not.... tyler u just have to move on in life. like the majority of us have to. and yea we hate everything just as much as u do. its hard to let go of something...

but dont be dependant on one person. there are other who will help u.

truth be told, u do need help tyler. not by one person. but by EVERYONE.

Zombisem · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 10:52 am

You're a f*cking idiot.

Go Ahead. I can't carry you anymore. Nobody else can carry you anymore. We've all carried you for our parts. And if you can't carry yourself at all then what's the point of keeping on.

Just cus you can't f*cking live your own life instead of being totally dependant on someone else ... I'm sorry you couldn't be three months old for your entire life!! I don't know how many times I've told that I don't have answers. f*ck I can't even think about what I ACTUALLY NEED to be thinking about do you realy think I can think enough to have answers for you.

Of course I f*cking care about you. Because you're a person, because you're alive. I care about everyone, you should know that. That's just me. But f*cking christ Tyler you are a friend, not a job. So I can't keep treating you like a job. You're dependancy on me ended up at a level that was mentally abusive, that's NOT COOL.

You know how bad i am at explaining things, but caring is just a humanity thing. Figure it out for yourself. I can't make you alright. You can make you alright. TADA!

I can't find the exact topic but it's somewhere on my forum, NLY i believe it was, quoted "This too shall pass" because it will you know, it always does. And we would be damned not to at least get something out of it. But if you refuse to, then there seriously is nothing anyone else can do about that. You are a friend, we can care but you have to care about yourself as well. This is something I have learned and it's high f*cking time you learned it. You arn't our job - we can't do it for you.

You f*cking idiot.

Kittykicker · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 1:24 pm

I never really got to know you. But if you want to talk to someone you can call me. I will give you my phone number. It might make you feel like your talking to a real person if you call. Better then the posts. Thats if your still alive to read this. PM me if you want to chat on the phone. I do care.

N.L.Y. · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 4:33 pm

NLY wrote:

Well things change fast: this too shall pass, better carve it on your forehead or tattoo it on your ass.
Cause who can tell? When the clock strikes twelve, if today becomes tomorrow then it’s all just gone to hell.
My friend makes these wondrous rings, she stops throughout her life to enjoy it as she'll sway and sing: she’s a mystic, but only in the sense that she’s still mystified by things, yet so scared to ask.
And like this cancer in your body: it all just goes to fast.

We think too big, we think our self as one whole thing,
And we claim that this collection has a name, it is a being.
But deep inside, when every cell divides, well it sets upon the rule that states: Self-Interest Is Divine.

And cancer too, lives by this golden rule, that you must do unto the others as the others unto you.
All for the best, because it’s all that life accepts, and so we Kill It Like A Buffalo: with awe and with respect.

Well don’t ask god, just holler at the sky. Cause she’ll tell it to you plainly, and praise the shapes, and then praise the way they change, and they’ll teach you not to pray to life without your praying to the rain.
And so I pray to ants, I pray to needs, and I pray to blades of grass to find forgiveness in the weeds, but as for health, I just never did believe, so I never prayed for myself, never accepted those who prayed for me.

The story goes, or at least the way that I was told, there was a king whom would always fall to high, and then he had the grace to fall so low. And so he called all the wise men to the hall, he then begged them for a gift to end the rises and the falls.
But here’s the thing, they came back with a ring, it was simple and was plainly unbefitting of a king. Engraved in black, well it had neither front nor back, but there were these words around that band: “Just Know This Too Shall Pass”

This Too Shall Pass?
I'll argue that later, and you'll know why it must last.
But for now, consider those four words, would you rather pass like me with dagger, or as the sleeping singing bird?
I see a choice in the way you die, so live to find your death and then perhaps we'll meet it like the buffalo: With Awe And With Respect
Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Lantis · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 4:58 pm

Oh no! You are having problems?! You must be the only one on the planet with problems!

...

Everyone deals with sh*t in their lives... get over it. At one point in my life, I had my fiance leave me, I had no job, had no money, no degree, and was lucky enough to be able to move in with my parents. I had bills out the ass, and for some reason every last "friend" I had wasn't there for me.

Yeah, I thought that leaving this earth would help me out. But I was wrong... And guess what. So are you. I don't know what exactly happened to you, it's none of my business. I mean, if you want to kill yoruself, that's your deal. But I can't think of a worse thing to do.... specially if you don't believe in anything after death.

But guess what, you aren't alone. Apparently Ix was in the same boat I was at one time. I'm just saying that things are going to change. But you got to understand that they aren't going to change when YOU want it too. I am telling you that things will get better one day. Believe it or not. You can't be any older than mid 20's right? I think quite a bit can change within 50 years...

But hey, what I do know right?

Chrssy · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 5:05 pm

hes 19.

N.L.Y. · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 5:12 pm

Or at least he was.

Chrssy · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 5:15 pm

just saw him pop online for a sec. so hes still alive for now. unless it wasnt him.

skyscrapper13 · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 5:17 pm

Now I'm pissed off. I'm passing REALLY tough times for me right now. Since the beginning of this month.

And now comes someone and tells me he wants to end his life. Great, it's all that I needed! Some encouragement for me to give up.

I've been trying hard enough not to give up. No, thanks.

---

I have no idea what is happening to you right now. I don't care, either. If it's something worth losing your own life for it, I can bet a family member or someone realted is in life danger.

Or else, like you said it yourself, y o u - a r e - a - f u c k i n g - c o w a r d.
Sorry. Needed to say that.

N.L.Y. · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 5:22 pm

Kid, if he's going to die he's going to die, might as well be happy for him, and you might as well not let it touch you.
He's dying for his problems if he's going to die, not yours, at least be sure you die for your own if you do get that foolish, don't let the camels back bow to far just because someone else's broke.

Lantis · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 5:41 pm

Why would you tell a public thread that you are going to commit suiside? Attention maybe?

Even if I'm wrong... it's still very emo.

skyscrapper13 · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 5:51 pm

Everything someone does near you, it touches you. If there are people suiciding around you... you might say it didn't touch you. But inside, it really did. I know I am.

I think it's not emo. I think he's trying to tell us that because of... I don't know. Maybe he felt the urge to do so. Just to say things. It feels a lot better once you put it out.

Now, if he's gonna go along with this thing, it's his problem. I still think it's a selfish and coward act.

1ce · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 6:06 pm

So I suppose the site admin job is back up, right?

Sorry, I can't help but crack a joke in an awkward situation.

Really, dieing is the easy way out. People like you Reki, make me sick. You think I haven't suffered? You are not the only one! I've been in a terrible creative slump for about 1 year. I've been full of depression and anger over the loss of a site and my humor, which all got deleted. That's right, my humor, my tough work, all gone. I was destroyed.

Now, in the last couple of days, I've managed to heal. I understand why the site went down, what people felt back then, I have recovered and I'm moving on now.

Time heals all wounds. It won't be easy, but you can recover.

dragonproductions · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 8:15 pm

well i understand your pissed,but when i was born I was told i would never walk talk or do anything, well I graduated from highchool, went to college, have a fiance,but before then it was a struggle. well it is still a struggle fo rme sinc i have a degree can't drive a car cause of my past health history,and I get buggies in to the store clean toilets, and lift heavy stuff just for 7 dollars an hour and i have a freakin degree. life s**ts on you no matter what,but the real challange is learning to deal with the cards your dealt and make a good hand out of it. may not be a winner at the end,but heck we all are losers in the end. we all die in the end,but it is what we do the people we help, you may not notice it but i am sure people care about you, and even if it is just one person that one person is a reason enough to stay alive cause im sure you don't want that person to think you didn't care about them since you took your own life. My mom has had cancer 4 times now in a row, and now is in remition so grab life by the lips and yank real hard cause thats all you really can do.

Fayorei · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 9:17 pm

Lone, you know I'll always love you as a friend. You really helped my life when we used to talk more on AIM and such, and I'd REALLY miss you if you did this. I beg of you to reconsider.

I know this might not get through to you, but I'll pray it will. I really love you man. Don't leave me, don't leave the people that care about you.

I've always appreciated the time you took from your day to talk to me, the music you shared, how you showed me DC++ to get onto your hub(even if I was a newblet), and how you always cheered me up with just being yourself.

Being emo is no f*cking joke. Commiting suicide is no f*cking joke- I dare anyone to try to emulate and feel how alone I felt because of how I was always alone through most of high school until I met Ixz and company. I was always deathly depressed in the worst sort of way, and it's no f*cking joke. Most of all, I'd NEVER encourage someone to commit suicide, it just isn't worth it in the end. Eternal blackness or a chance to make it better and live life? I chose the latter. This is mainly to one person and not Lone here- you can write all the f*cking dank and depressing poetry you want, but until you were as rock bottom as I felt then, you know no pain, you know no suffering, and there's always hope unless you f*ck it up by being pissy and whiny. And then later on I was accused of things I didn't do by my "friends" they turned my girlfriend against me, and my family wouldn't HEAR of me even dating a girl in the first place. I had no one to talk to then either. And I severely believe Lone is tougher than that, and that no one else should f*cking encourage someone else to commit suicide. It's f*cking rediculous.

I also know this isn't the first time you've had it rough, and I'm sure most everyone hits these spots. Please man, don't do this. This agnostic will be praying for you tonight.

WHOOSH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Regal · **Posted:** August 17th, 2006, 9:29 pm

one thought i doubt you'll listen to, and i never thought i'd actually say.

http://www.rpgmmag.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=97

this is one of the funniest things i ever read. when i first turned up here.... you're pretty much the reason i stayed around.

sorry if this embarrasses or annoys you.

but its the truth. the world needs people like you.

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