I'm going to start off by saying that I have not been in a relationship, so anything I say, you don't have to find it credible. However, I'm going to give my opinion on it based off what I've seen and what I find logical.

Relationships are usually your "trial and error" process for finding the person that you'll potentially spend the rest of your life with, right? I agree with that to some extent. However, I don't particularly find the idea too appealing if done too many times. Relationships are also to help build up the idea of what you want in a relationship, or what you need, take it how you want. However, when relationships become repetitive, it becomes more than just identifying your wants or needs in a relationship. It becomes a need.

A need for a relationship is very toxic, a posion. You end up in a long relationship (we'll say 8 months, which is the most common "long relationship" for most teens), and you like how it feels to be with someone for so long. You break up because of problems. Then you whine about how they were doing this and doing that. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you two didn't try to solve the problem? Yelling and screaming at one another isn't problem solving. If it solved my problems with everything, hell, I'd be in a good position with everything I yell at. It doesn't work that way.

Anyway, when you become needy, you feel that, after your first long relationship, or maybe even a short relationship, you need to be with a person in order to feel good or to keep your life in balance. That's complete bull and you know it. You don't NEED a relationship to survive. You can live a stable, nice life being single, as I have realized. I'm not in a relationship and it doesn't kill me at all to not be in one. It used to, but I realized that I can be more focused when I'm not dating someone else. Anyway, so, since you feel needy, you decide to find another person to fill your "void." That's not fulfilling anything besides desire for a partner to keep you company. It's completely STUPID to do that.

If you want a relationship, what is it that you're looking for? Someone nice? Oh yeah, there's SO much depth there. A gentleman? A lady? No depth there, either. You need to be specific. What do you want, what do you need, from a relationship that you want to last long, possibly forever? Think about that. Relationships are just that. A tester, a trial and error thing. But you need to give some time after a break up to evaluate things. I'm not talking about a week or two, I'm talking months, maybe years. Relationship hopping does nothign except land you in the same mess. If the relationship can last past a month, it will be nice and happy for a while, maybe up until 5 or 6 months. But what happens after that? Get sick of them? Find out there's no "connection?" Maybe you shouldn't have jumped into it.

The point here is, you're searching for the potential soulmate, but you cycle through boy/girlfriends like clothes and never really evaluate what you want in a good, solid relationship. What you learn about people in a few months doesn't tell you anything, especially when you're a teenager. Teens are sporadic and can change easily with influence from other people or their future vocations. Why do you think so many marriages early in life fail? They thought they knew what they wanted and they thought they had what they wanted, but eventually, something changed and they no longer want to deal with it. So what's the next step? Divorce. Spend your time evaluating, observing, learning, before you jump out into another relationship. Trust me, you begin to see things better and you'll realize that things are better if done slow and with more care.


I forgot to mention something above. Just going purely off emotions is stupid. Emotions aren't always logical and reasonable. If you let emotions guide you, you'll make mistakes, some that you might never want to make. Use your brain a little before you hop on the dating bandwagon and have fun kissing, making out, or whatever else you people do.

I would like to point out that a relationship will never be necessity. It's desire only. A bold statment, yes... but if you really think about it, it will never be a requirment in life.

...unless you want cheaper insurance. Which is a petty reason at best.

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^_^

well, iunno.

... and that about does it for my point of view. i never held anything much as.. you know, 'special', so what you're saying isn't so novel to me. things are just what they are, imperfect constructs that are nonetheless very easy to get... tied up in.


anything at all will be a poison, in sufficient quantities. anything; water, air, love. poisons and addictions. ^^

i kinda suspect that it's important to balance all that properly.

.. someday soon i'm gonna stick to the point of a topic. it'll be an interesting day when i do.

... Hmm. I have to apologize to you, Kratos. At first I thought you were just going to go off on some inane "women suck" rant, because that's what I've heard most guys do whenever the this kind of subject comes up, but ... I was quite wrong. What you've said seems pretty wise to me.

... Heh heh. Not that I am the kind of guy whom has "cycled through girlfriends like clothes" (like how you said that, by the way ^_^), but still, I think it would be quite beneficial for me to reflect on what you've said, here.

*holds up Northern Longblade in typical knight's salute*



... Wait a minute, Regal. Air can be poisonous to you? I mean, you were talking about oxygen, right?

First I want to highly recommend the link put up by Lantis, even more than it is funny, it is dead on, but [spoiler]I didn’t like the last step[/spoiler].

@Kratos Aurion
I felt that your thought was well put, but it included two things that bothered me. The traditional notion that relationships are about looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with and the traditional notion that relationships are about trying to find a soulmate.

I consider relationships to be about how to ‘relate’ and nothing necessarily more. As such I have a relationship with my family, my friends, my girlfriend, and the Mag community.

By assuming an expected ‘role’ for someone that one has a relationship with (soulmate, ‘til death do us part’ spouse), many people find out that either they are unwilling or unable to fulfill that role, that their ‘other’ is unwilling or unable to fulfill that role, or that both are such.

Unlike other motivating delusions in life that we’ll never have to learn were delusions after all, the expectancies one has of a soulmate or spousal relationship, when unfulfilled are glaring to the point that rather than focus on ‘hey, I have a great person here even if he or she is flawed’, the only thought is, ‘how could I have thought that he or she was the ONE?’

I consider it best to enter a ‘relationship’ as you would a friendship. No promises, no expectations, no exclusivity, and only openness to whether or not you can relate on some level including mind, body and/or spirit.

I understand that traditional culture has not fully embraced that philosophy, and as such it is difficult to test properly, but I strongly argue that if traditional relationships are really the best route for everyone than why do people always talk about how they are unfulfilled?