Do you think that is is harmful, in the long run, to spare someone's feelings about certain things?

Where do you think it would be harmful, and not harmful?

This is a good question. I was just about to say. Oh Ix! Its always good to spare someones feelings. But then I thought about it some.

1. Its always good to spare someones feelings unless..
2. You think something is going to get back to them that might hurt them. Even more if it came from someone else and not you.
3. A person can not fix a problem if your hiding it from them. EX: "Oh you look fine." Mean while they have a big stain on there wedding dress. And about to get some photos done.

Well, I guess you know the saying, "Truth Hurts."

However, there are some people in the world who have a conscience, which means that they would feel bad if they did hurt your feelings. But, I believe the best solution is to tell it like it is. That way, they at least know you're honest.

I don't give people unhonest opinions for the sake of not hurting their feelings. But I don't always give an honest opinion, either. If I don't give an honest opinion, I don't give much of an opinion at all.

If it harms you to spare their feelings then it probably would be better to face the problem right away instead of letting it fester into a bigger problem and have it be worse when it blows up later.

The problem with "sparing peoples feelings" is that it is lying. Maybe it's a small harmless lie like saying that the really weird looking shirt they like to wear is cool. But even small lies set standards for later when you could be faced with telling a bigger lie. Even little lies can build up and up to be huge elaborate conspiracies in the end. They say one lie leads to the next and sometimes i find myself as quite the testament to that fact.

People will more often thank you for telling the truth even if it does seem cynical or mean than they will for hiding things from them, even things that hurt.
Then there are people who simply can't handle truth especially when it hurts and these people are difficult and dangerous and neither way will benefit them or you no matter what you do. O.O

I guess it mostly comes down to setting clear moral boundaries, and that doesn't neccessarily mean they can't change, most likely they will but it is good to keep them clear so that you know when you are crossing them BEFORE you actually do so.

Well I tend to beat around the bush alot when it comes to telling people how I feel. Mostly when I know it might hurt them. I try to start the topic in a very nice way. And I try to end it, in a very nice way. I hope they will ease up on the middle part of the topic.

If the person in question is just someone, I usually think it's fair and even better to spare his/her feelings.

When it comes to someone I know well, someone I like/love or someone really important to me... like good friends... I'm completely sincere and open 100% of the times.

I think life gets better when you are open; I hate false people. I don't want, by any means, to become one of them.

No one can answer that question for you, my man. It's based on judgment. I guess the idea is to be empathetic. Put yourself in their position and see how you would feel before you act. People are fragile, and some people even get revenge. Just use your better judgment and decide.

Sparing someone's feelings might be the easiest solution, but I personally don't think it's the right one.
Of course, there are also different ways of telling them the truth. There are times when you have to know how to say it.

I agree with Sumisem on this one, though I think Guarionex put it best when he said you have to know how to say it.

So while I don't think you should lie to someone over something you feel strongly about to spare their feelings, there are nicer ways to say things a lot of the time. So since the end goal is to enlighten them while not hurting their feelings, try to find a nice way to say what you want to say. This way it will hurt their feelings less, while not limiting your freedom to speak. I know it is wierd that there are nicer ways to say hurtful things, but the unfortunate truth is that our communication is limited by language. So our thoughts are always communicated through our limited language, and so we must learn the limitations of this medium of communication and use it to come close to the complete intention of our original thought or opinion.

I know I don't sugar coat things a lot, though people who know me will know when I tell them something is ok, I mean just that, average (though sometimes I admit I'm just being lazy and not putting full thought into it, which people I know will catch and ask me for my real opinion). But then again it takes a lot to impress me most of the time, though a lot of times I will ask people what they are going for, and then make judgement based on that.

Another tip on this is once you speak make sure to really listen to the rebuttal. Your opinion may have been clouded, and you may not have access to the full story behind what you said. Also a lot of times people don't know they are doing something wrong until someone tells them they are. Remember that wrong and right are social constructions, and therefore relative, so what is wrong and right to you may be the exact opposite, or anywhere inbetween, to someone else. So in this case both people should try to come to some mutual compromise, meaning you will probably need to revise your original opinion as well.

Also if you are going to be totally honest with someone, expect them to be honest right back. It is commonly held that ignorance is bliss, and knowledge is sorrow, but I firmly disagree, though of course I am biased as I like to think of myself as an intellectual. So my advice is if it's a small thing that doesn't really bother you (and really doesn't bother you AT ALL), just let it go, but if it's not, be honest about it, just choose your words carefully to be the least harmful. While I'm all for being honest I also think people should think before they speak, so be honest while making sure you are not being hurtful with your language. Now if you message hurts, well finding out the truth always does, but I think it serves to make you a better person if you are able to deal with it.

Like they say that which does not kill (emotionally destroy, or permanently cripple) us only served to make us stonger.

Ix I just ant to say. You suck. No I'm just kidding.
No really.. You suck! Na, I'm just playing.. Or am I?

Stop spamming.

Sorry no spam intended. On the topic of sparing peoples feelings I was just making an exsample of not sparing Ix's feelings. I should have made it clear. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Well, sometimes you just have to hide the truth

Sometimes just lie about something when one of your friends has problems, foor example.Just say that my friends has an enormous zit in her forehead and she didn't even notice it (poor girl), just don't teel anyone about it or if she's getting suspicious.But sometimes hiding the truth can get you into major trouble, since your friend will be mad when she finds out that your not telling her about something.

Yes very true... Thats why its best to beat around the bush. Just tell your friend how much you love them. Then tell them the truth. Then remind them how much you really do love them.

*shrugs*
There's a difference between tact and lying.
One is propriety and the other is lying.

you people aren't devious enough. there is always a third way. well, unless you are AMAZINGLY UNLUCKY

How, amangzingly unlucky can you get?And what is the third way excactly Regal?Cuz i wanna know your opinion.