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PostPosted: April 22nd, 2007, 12:08 pm 
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Rar. Feel the wrath of my english stories. You'll notice that they skip numbering. Why? Because I hate some of them. }:3
All comments welcome, ESPECIALLY tips on how to improve. I need those.

Prompt: “Once, when no one was looking….â€


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PostPosted: April 23rd, 2007, 7:42 am 
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heh... this, i liked.

i read it with the intention of trying to find points of improvement. these were surprisingly few.

if you're looking for points to exploit and possibly lengthen the story, well hell, they're everywhere. we've got a kid who practises occult rituals, presumably goes to school, there's a small supporting cast of characters who are, while developed enough in the story as it is, still in possession of great wells of further potential character development.

there's a lot of exploitable room, but i suppose that was already obvious.

the events were clearly described, in a readable way. it was friendly and the way you told the story contained a fair amount of humour. it was meant to be a little bit surreal, and it was. *shrug* all fine, right?

... the ending. i thought it was a good ending and i liked it. but something about the way the character was saved by a fairly blatant deus ex machina rankled a little bit with me. there's nothing wrong with it, it's a fairly common literary tradition and he had to be saved somehow. but in that situation, i would most likely just die pathetically, rather than have the uberbrainstorm of a lifetime and solve the problem of the apparently malevolent imp. but like i said, it was ok.

i enjoyed reading it. it was original, readable, and in some respects a longer or more involved story might've run the risk of becoming less original and readable. though tbh i think you would've been ok with it.

... yeah. i haven't exactly offered much, have i? >_<

but i read, and i enjoyed. so thanks.... and yeah, post up #5 sometime.

-John


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PostPosted: April 23rd, 2007, 12:26 pm 
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6 is coming before 5 because I'm at school and #6 is't at home while #5 is.

Prompt 6: Ten Minutes

Like the set of a horror movie, Eric woke up in an unknown room, with padded walls and a clock with 10:00 on the face. “What the…it’s been three hours? What happened?â€


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PostPosted: August 13th, 2007, 1:25 am 
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4 MONTH BUMP
muhahahaha


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