Goals as of now
Lets see I can now answer this question seriously. Well I plan to get this job at Fed ex, once that is done I will move out. But before all this happen I will complete my flash animation for class, continuing working and coding my mugen character for the release which is set in sometime in the winter season. Continue my duties as a global moderator at a forum I frequent and f*ck over as many leechers as I can.

Future Goals

After I graduate I will move to a bigger city, six months down that line I will go traveling go across america and into some other countries like canada, mexico, japan thats it. Work on my portfolio for future job interviews for a career in 3d modeling or just game design in general. Work until I can start a company to make my games or find a way to influence my ideas so that other game companies can actually produce them. Some where along that line I plan to get married, engaged or somewhere near there. If I have kids which I plan to I will want alot of them and since I am a tall guy they maybe tall as hell. Wife kids and picket fence, I don't like the picket fence but wife and kids sounds like a nice idea.

I tend to agree with you but must ask, do you have physical relationships in your friendships? I think just having friends but no girlfriend/wife is really difficult unless your friendships provide you what you need physically.

My goal in life is to be a good person, and get to heaven when i die ^^

Well, aside from that, i want to graduate school and college and i also want to get married too! Oh, and my other important goal, is to become a celebrity chef. Then i can make people happy with my cooking, Hurray!

^__^

Lol, no... not yet anyway. But I've always told myself that I don't need sex. A bold statment, yes... but I've been without for a while now and it's really not that bad.

But I guess one of the reason for that is that my last GF kind of burned me out on it... wiether that's a good thing or not, that's one's own opinion. But no, I don't have any friends with benefits atm.

Well I was referring to sex as one thing physically, but also there is cuddling, massages, touching the back of you neck, etc.

Do you get these things from your friends or can you do without these too? I would have a hard time without this type of contact.

Too true, me and my friends though are quite huggy. Just last week I had all the guys (and girls) from the shack (radio shack) come over. We were all hugging and wrestling and having a good time. Hopefully I'll be able to pull those kind of hangout times more often.

But I'll tell you something, I would kill for a honest to God back massage though... it's been WAY too long.

But in all honestly, I do miss the intimate "cuddle times" so to speak. But I mean, life could be alot worse... I think that the things you are refering to are a nice thing to have... not quite a neccessity.

Well, you could always have one-night stands. I don't suppose they count as relationships, but they do take care of the physical issue quite well.

I'm not that desparate... pretty far from it, actually.

Funny, I never thought one-night stands were a desperate thing. Actually, they're quite... common. Perhaps in the US people find it more of a big deal...

I don't know... one night stands sound like more of a quick fix for an addiction. Kind of like a drug addict will freak out after missing out on his... stuff.

They don't have to be that way.

For me, they are almost the opposite: something you do when you want to avoid long-term relationships.

Point taken.

But I'd at the very least would prefer it to be with someone I at least knew. A friend or something. Maybe I'm just weird or something, but it just seems out of place with someone you don't know.

Ah, but that is a very personal matter.
I, myself, would only do it with people I don't know, because it'd be weird doing it with people I see most or not that much of the time.

wow.. this topic drifted totally away from anything that has anything to do with goals in life. funny. But I guess this is a good example of a conversation that is deviating and can easly drift back into place as compared to the spammy ones that end up locking a thread.

So...


I understand where you are coming from, but the whole friends with benefits this is that the person who is your partner is understanding exaclty what you two would be doing. And if that's true, you really shouldn't feel awkward about it.

One of the biggest joys of conversation is natural drifting of topic ^^ I also think that, if no one is being harmed and the parties are enjoying themselves, no point in locking.
Besides, anyone can push the thread back to its original topic just as easily as anything, no problems ^^

Yes... you have a point. A friends-with-benefits situation does have its charm. I gotta admit I'm considering something similar these days. But I wouldn't go as far as saying one extreme is better than the other. Not in a relationship & singleism situation, and not in a one-night stand with stranger / with friend situation. Every side has its arguments.

Though I do hope that I find my match one of these days. Must be tiring to remain single forever. Hm, it can even be considered one of my golas in life, now that I think about it...

I don't think it is so coincidental that it 'drifted' off topic. If you look at my first post asking the question, I mention that my goal is to live happily and that I value sanity, consistency and individual liberty.

I have a girlfriend of several years that I love, but I am very interested in the idea of no significant other as you addressed in your response. I was asking for your thoughts on the physical aspects of relationships.

To me it seems that the most sane, consistent, approach to individual liberty is to not have a significant other that is so much more important than anyone else.

It seems that the most reasonable and realistic type of relationship is no dating and nothing but friends BUT the friends need to be there for you mentally, spiritually, AND physically.

Of course that doesn’t mean that you need to rely on the same friends equally. Some may be for the mind only, others the spirit only, and others the body, (or any combination thereof) and some need only be your friend for a brief period of time, others for the rest of your life. There doesn’t need to be a set rule.

Thus I agree with both you and the Gnasher. One night stands (as PART of the physical aspect of relationships) can be beneficial both with temporary friends (strangers) and also with life long friends.

It's maybe a bit more of a taboo in north america the whole one-night stand thing. a lot of people put a lot of value into sex, like america was built on the judeo-christian ideals one of which being no sex before marriage. a lot of people deviate from it these days but there is still a relitively strong social glare at it. I really like the glimpse of it from your cultural viewpoint though gnasher ^^;;

there's also a sort of stigma around being single right? like lantis is always saying about how people can't seem to be happy unless they're attached. like people arn't good enough by themselves and need someone else to say 'only you' to rectify their worth or something. Which is the way it seems to get with some people who start out as FWB... but then one of them will get attached and be jealous of the other person.. like if they go out with other friends, or have another FWB ... it kind of turns into wanting or even expecting a relationship... at least that's what i've noticed in america.. with the mentality we all seem to have up here.

That's a good point that pulls more towards Gnasher's idea. With it being a perfect stranger, there's no worry for attachment.

But then it's up to the individual. I would be uncomfortable having any form of physical relationship with someone I don't know. But then again, I would be able to keep the attachment under control... or I wouldn't even consider a FWB.

I hold my friends highly, and if I ever wanted a FWB... I would make sure that the friendship wouldn't be put in jepardy over it. But then again, I may be able to keep my side under control, but the other person would have to be of the same mentality... something that you can't control.

That being said, that's one of the reasons I kind of think sex is over hyped. You may be putting alot at risk for just an orgasm... that is, unless it's a perfect stranger (but there are other people like me that would probably not be comfortable with that).

Damnit, I'm thinking in a loop again.

It's not just about sex though, it is about physical relationships.

I believe the reason that sex IS overhyped in the US is because people in this country have an all or nothing attitude toward physicality (likely as a cultural expression or remanant of the religious concept of 'purity' or the 'body is a temple' and denial of animal (particualry primate/ape ancestral) communal existence).

In other words, all the built up need to express oneself or communicate physically (which is real) gets thrust on one individual because others are unwilling or uncomfortable with relating in a 'middle' zone, such as foreplay, cuddling, making out, etc.

It would be like telling someone they don't get to talk to anyone (except to say "hi" or "excuse me") except for their significant other. They would be telling that siginificant other all kinds of things the other doesn't care about because that other would be the only one allowed to recieve that someone's expression and that someone would be dying to explode it all over the other.