Where can I even begin with this sh*t?

Okay, let's start with the good:

The opening was nice and action packed. I liked how the backstory was handled. Henry Cavill plays the part pretty well, as far as I'm concerned. Michael Shannon does some good work as General Zod. The evil chick whose name I don't know played a good Faora. Given that she's supposed to be a solider, she REALLY looks the part. Fishburne as Perry was pretty cool, too. These people could have really shined with a better script.

Okay. Now for the bad.

Why does it feel like there were several pages of the script missing between the time Lois met Clark at his father's grave and the time of the invasion of Zod? Because those two were complete strangers at that point and by the time of the invasion, they were holding hands and sh*t, despite not even having as much as a conversation. And even by the end of the movie, I think they've shared a combined total of 10 lines of dialogue together and then they kiss.

Why in the f*ck did Jonathan Kent go back for the f*cking DOG? He lost his life because he went back to save a dog. And why exactly did hanging out under an overpass save everyone else's life during a twister in the first place? Why couldn't Clark run out, grab his dad and just do a fireman's carry? That wouldn't have raised suspicion. Oh well.

Why is it whenever they want to make sure the audience knows that a woman is a "strong, independent woman", they make her act like a b*tch in her opening scene? Lois Lane immediately rubs me the wrong way with her know-it-all, smug-ass bullsh*t. And the best part is, after being dressed down by her, the military man is all like "wow, I respect her now" within the same scene. So stupid.

Speaking of stupid, what is up with the amazing, massive scale of destruction in this film? Every time someone got punched, they got sent flying into a building. Superman, despite being the protector of humanity, doesn't give a flying f*ck (heh) about punching one of his enemies into a likely-populated building. Hell, anytime he flies, the ground crumbles underneath him when he takes off. He literally does not show any concern for these people except in maybe 2-3 scenes, one including Lois and the other at the end where it ends when he breaks Zod's neck to save a handful of people who, might I add, were in the corner cowering when there was a clear path of escape while Supes was holding down Zod.

As far as Zod's master plan, I tried to follow it and I understand he wanted to create New Krypton on Earth, but I gave up trying to figure out all the mumbo jumbo about it.

I got so bored after the first Zod fight that I eventually started skimming and skipping the movie about 1.5 hours in. How is this movie 2.5 hours long and feel like it's missing pages of its script?!

The action scenes look dynamic and action-packed and SHOULD be making my blood pump, but something about them was so BORING. I can't put my finger on it, but I eventually got tired of looking at it. I skimmed fight scenes, too. Maybe it's because I didn't understand or give a sh*t why anyone was fighting anymore.

I also want to say that the generic general with the weird-ass name and the generic scientist were so bad. What especially stuck out at me for the latter was the scene where he was like "omg they're terraforming the planet" and someone was like "what do you mean?" in a military command station. Who the f*ck needs an explanation of what terraforming means THERE? Yes, he was there to explain for the audience, by my lord that stuck out like a sore thumb.

And they end the movie with Clark getting a job at the Daily Planet. All he does is put on glasses and that's that. Oh, and Lois knows he's Superman. But the thing is, if Lois can clearly see he's Superman, how come no one else can? He did not hide his face at all during all of this. He simply don't give a f*ck. Is he REALLY hiding his identity?

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So there you have it.

There's two reasons I decided to see this movie:

1. To see how the DC Movie Universe (DCMU) was going to work.
2. To see Doug Walker's review on it.

After Man of Steel, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that DCMU is completely f*cked.

Warner Bros. has seen that Marvel Avengers cash and they want in on that 1.5 billion pie, but with efforts like this, it's never going to happen. They actually plan to put Wonder Woman AND Flash into the Superman/Batman movie. This movie couldn't handle ONE hero right. I'm definitely not watching any more DC movies unless it have overwhelming good word-of-mouth.

Final score: 3/10

All I gotta say is:

At least it's better than Superman Returns.

I tried to warn you.

To be fair, Superman has never been much of a mask wearer in any form. Hiding behind glasses as his main disguise has kind of always been his thing.

He's never had a lot of f*cks to give in that regard.

If I had directed this movie, I would've had him do the Christian Bale Batman voice while being Clark Kent the reporter.

You know what? I think it's debatable whether or not this movie is actually better than Superman Returns. I sure made fun of the main character being a super deadbeat dad, sure, but at least the villain was entertaining and the plot wasn't so meandering.

The tone of this movie is better, but everything else is a clusterfluff.

And yes, I was warned by facts, but I still needed to see it. It makes me appreciate the good times hanging out with you guys so, SO much more.

Is there a real thing as a 'mindless action flick'? Because this movie is the perfect example of it, for what I know of it.

I do think it is better than Returns, because that movie felt like it tried to be something it could not be and never realized it. Superman finding a son was supposed to be this dramatic moment, but all I saw was abdication of responsibilities from this god-like figure (and the plot bending over backwards to make us not hold him at fault at all). Not to mention the call backs to the old movies felt like desperation, not continuity.

This movie, well, I agree with most about it. Lois Lane was no more than a crude persona of what uninformed writers THINK make a strong female. If the persona was deliberate, that would be a whole different matter. But the movie seemed so phoned in... but it was honest if misguided, where Returns was delusional in its connections to the superior Donner films.

In the end, my main complaints really came from sloppy editing that detracted from character development. I can see the characters developing to where they were at in the ending... they just skipped it for more fights and IHOP product placement.


... I guess I did have some stuff to say about this movie.

EDIT: And about the villain in Returns... Spacey was enjoyable to watch as the big ham he can be ("WROOOOONG!"), but the actual plot with Luthor was lame. Plus the resolution was anti-climactic.