I've been thinking for a while. There's a girl I kind of like, a very cute and friendly little creature. Adorable, really. Tiny figure, dark eyes, rocking a formidable blond ponytail. And she's admitted to being a fellow believer (not that I necessarily mind either way, though).


.... But the way I know her is through a business, you see. The Raising Canes down the street where I often have lunch on workdays. Not actually a waitress per se, unless you count the fact that sometimes she brings the food to me voluntarily when it is ready instead of calling me to the counter. Still, the last time I came crush on a lady who was in the service industry, it did not go so well; in fact, I wonder if she mistook me for some evil stalker or something (I recount that here, a few posts from the bottom of the page: viewtopic.php?f=84&t=6257&hilit=my+hero&start=2740).

We have had a few conversations over the several months I've "known" Kaitlyn, but, I really don't know any way to get to know her better other than asking her out on a casual, friendly date (my interest in the lass can only be described as potentially romantic at best). But, how else can I do so other than at the place she works at, the only place I see her? And I am beginning to wonder, over the years since I tried asking out Nia, if there's just a natural minor stigma against doing that. It's not like I deliberately go for only girls in the service industry, you know? But other than online in forum communities or restaurants I may go to, I don't see many other opportunities to meet and befriend a lady with the intent of potential romance. There are no girls at all anywhere near my age (the closest one is still a child) at my church, I am no longer in school, and I've always heard that dating someone you work with almost always turns out to be a nightmare (there are only married women at my workplace, anyway). So I want to take the chance where I can. I am actually getting over my shyness slowly over time since three years ago when I asked out Nia, who was the first girl I ever dared to do that with my entire life. So, should I just be patient and wait, however long it takes, until I have several more conversations with Kaitlyn to where she would likely be totally comfortable with being asked out? Is there any way anyone can think of that I can ask her out completely away from the unfit environment of her workplace?



I would like to hear your suggestions. I've been turned down (ultimately so, anyway) all three times in my life so far I have taken a potential liking to a girl and asked her on a date, but I refuse to let the fact get me down. I have unfailing high hopes for the future. There's no other acceptable life view for me to take on.

Go for it!

You could always ask if she has a facebook page or something. Start talking to her online when she's not at work. That would make things less work-place-y and more personal.

Just say, with no flourish, no pre-warm-up-to-the-topic talk, no grand gestures, no similes, no metaphors, no flowers, no tldr's (for example this sentence) and say:

You know, I was wondering if you would like to have coffee with me sometime.

It is simple. It is stringless. It is easily brushed aside regardless of the response.
It is so simple and innocent that you can continue with the relationship you already have with her if she says no.


If you want to give her a way to tell a white lie and save everyone from awkwardness,
Just ask
Are you seeing anyone?

If she is she says yes. If she isn't but not interested, she says yes.

Keep it simple. Keep it casual.

Bot, I think that is the best advice! Coffee is super cas, super chill, and a warm chat possibility-maker.

Super cas, huh?


Well, that seems agreeable. I like to think she will say yes to that, just getting better acquainted over coffee. I mean, half the time it was actually she and not I who initiated the conversation, however short or long it turned out to be, so I like to think Kaitlyn at least likes me enough to stand being around me. ^_^


I appreciate the uplifting "go for it!" message, though, Dyne.

No problem. When the worst that can happen is rejection, it's far less regrettable to simply ask and get a response rather than let it pass and rue the decision for years to come.

... I just realized something. I just saw a Bioshock 2 reference in Super Sonico as she was playing video games, and now she is my number 1 anime girl.


If it turns out that Kaitlyn is also a Bioshock 2 fan, then I am in love. For the first time in eight years.

(Half joke)